My wild Texas - OU Weekend: total debauchery

Probably the wildest weekend I've had in awhile. Even though my beloved Horns lost, I still had a helluva time:

Friday, 12:30 PM: Picked up a liter of Sky, liter of Beam, and a liter of Bacardi. Painted "F.U. O.U." and "Hook Em" in white shoepolish on my truck and set off for Dallas with my buddies.

Friday, 4:00 PM: Fought through a ton of construction past Waco and some south of Dallas on I-35 to finally arrive in Dallas. Checked into the Downtown Hyatt next to Reunion Arena. We had two connected rooms for 11 people.

Friday, 4:30 PM: Inspected our liquor inventory, which included: Jack, Beam, Sky, Bacardi, Absolut Rasberry Twist, and Bacardi Limon.

Friday, 4:32 PM: Took my first shot of liquor, as did some friends. A few more followed.

Friday: 5:30 PM: Walked over to the West End for dinner. The OU mullets and trailer trash fans were already in full effect. Listened to the 1300AM, live talk show outside of Spaghetti Warehouse, then headed over to Cadillac Bar for some Tex-Mex. Seated outside, we slowly saw the goofiest freaking backwoods fans in the country. Some Native-American OU fan was already wasted and got in my face. I jawed back then finished eating. Got interviewed by some local Dallas TV station.

Friday: 7:00 PM: Back at the Hyatt for some serious drinking. Shot after shot, after shot of hard liquor. No mixin' for me. The chicks were doing the mixing, the dudes were all shots. Blasted Texas Fight, March Grandioso and the Wabash Cannonball repeatedly in the hotel room until we were all nicely plastered.

Friday: 9:00 PM:Totally wasted, we burst onto the scene in the West End. I'd say about 75% Okies, but I didn't give a damn. The sh*t talking started off innocently in front of the Planet Hollywood with remarks about moblie homes, double-wides, and mullets. It then escalated as did my drunkennes to comments about that Fat Ass Mangino, inbreeding, cars on blocks, toothless rednecks, etc. Finally the all out assault on the state of Oklahoma with comments like "Michael Dell has more money than your whole damn state!" I reaked of liquor and continued to get in peoples faces, who were, for the most part, cool. Except for one, who referred to a buddy of mine who's Indian as "Osama." Some other good-natured Okie had our back though and pushed him and said "he doesn't speak for all of us." Later, as more Texas fans came in, the same Indian buddy, (last name Dixit) ripped a couple of OU flags off a car. We ran into a crowd of Texans, and I pulled out my lighter and set the damn thing on fire. (Bear in mind, I have little control at this point). The flag's burning nicely in my hands with a circle of fellow Horn fans around me, shielding it from Okies. Someone apparently told the cops, as I was forced to step on it and put it out in front of Joe's Crab Shack. We then started hitting up the bars. Beer after beer was flowing. Money being of no object. We stood over the railing outside of the bars taunting and yelling chants at those dirty Okies on the street. I even poured a beer on some dumb ass who pissed me off. I went back in and while I was waiting in line for a beer, accidentally stepped on some girl's foot. Drunk as hell, I bought her and one of her friends a beer. I started talking to them, and they went to OU. One of the chicks said that she wanted a tattoo, and asked me if I wanted to come to Deep Ellum with them to get it. I agreed and Dixit and three pretty OU chicks (ok, well only two were pretty) walked over to the Hyatt with us to get my truck. I step inside to take a piss in the Hyatt RR, but I while I'm undoing my pants, I get a line of piss on my khaki's. We headed over to the Deep Ellum to get the tattoo. Thy ugly girl's boyfriend calls and we leave her at the Hyatt, where he picks her up. This frees the other two up who decide they want us to come over to their downtown Dallas hotel room in the Magnolia. Drunk as hell (okay DD is really stupid, I agree), we headed over there and messed around with the girls, complete strangers for awhile. Before I knew it, my friend and I were each going at it with Okies we just met minutes ago.

Saturday, 1:30AM Turns out one of the girls' boyfriends was coming over unexpectedly. Dixit and I stumble out of the room. On the way down the elevator, Dixit, a dumbass, hits the call button. "Are you stuck" asks the operator. "No we're drunk." Responds the dumbass. We run out of the hotel over to my truck where I proceeded to piss on the side of the street in clear view of everyone. Drove back over to the West End to talk more smack. Got into a fight, with some idiot OU fan, who said I wasn't American. Cops quickly broke it up. The bars closed at 2 AM and we headed back to the hotel. Everyone else was already back and were amused to see the two of us stumbling back in. Again we were being loud and rowdy in the hotel, and the cops came and told us to keep it down. I proceeding to vomit in the toilet

. I, completely by chance, went to sleep on one of the beds with this hot girl (friend of a friend) who my roommate is trying to bang. He had been working on it all night, then gave up, and passed out. She and I were both drunk as hell. Lights went out, then we started going at it with it no reqard to else was in the room (four others). Soon the clothes came off but stopped short of smashing her. Later we both fell asleep after a wild drunken night.

Stay tuned for Gameday, Saturday night, etc.