I'm so confused. I've talked about this with a few friends, but they know me, so they're most likely to be biased towards me. I'd like to hear some views from people who don't know me. About 6-7 years ago, I met this great girl. Smart, sweet, and way too sexy for me. We dated for about a year and a half and then had a very mysterious and traumatic break up (don't want to go into the details, btu it left her feeling guilty for years and left me feeling guilty for years once i understood what happened). After the break up, we didn't speak for about two and a half years. We were in college together, so we exchanged the awkward galnces a few tiems a week on campus. Fast forward to graduation. She ends up calling one strange night and we talked through two years of questions and forgave each other. Soon thereafter, we fall back in the "L" and did the long-distance thing for about year. It was too hard, so we broke up, but we stayed friends over the last two years. I still love her deeply and I always will, but about a year ago I finally stopped being IN love with her. Over the past two years, both of our lives have changed dramatically. I've found a job I love and commit a ridiculous amount of time and energy to it. Her life has changed, too. She has gotten very sick. In fact, she's gotten progressively worse and tells me it could go south at any time. I may lose her. I love her so much and it hurts me to know she's suffering. Over the past month I seem to spend all my non-work time on the phone with her (still long-distance) just to make her smile. She's scared and depressed and I'm good at making girls smile. But it's so damn hard. It takes so much out of me and I don't know how much longer I can do it. I've convinced her to start talking to a counselor, but she'll never trust her more than she trusts me. Every time I have to get off the phone with her, I feel so guilty. I don't know. I'm not expressing the conflict I'm having with this well. I feel like I've put so much into making her feel better. And I don't hink I can do it anyhmore. But at the same time, if anything were to happend to her, I'd die if she thought I wasn't there for her. I owe her so much. She's made me such a better person. I just don't know if I have it in me any more. am i a complete ass? how do i do what i WANT to do (be ther efor her every second of every day) and do what i NEED to do (take care of my own life)? help. confused. tired. scared. ***guilty***.
The best thing you could do is help a person in need and put whatever your job brings you on the back burner. It may not be very evident, but if you really think this way about her (and she thinks similarly about you), there really isn't anything you can logically do but be there for her. To make a sick person happy is one of the best feelings in the world. To do all you can for her would make you a much better person and she, I'm sure, would be eternally grateful. The rest of the world will still be there, in time. Whether it's at the same job you have now or if you have to work at it again, something will be there, especially (going by what you have said) with your work ethic. Be there for her. You won't regret it.
such a difficult decision, TL. i'm sorry to hear she's not doing well. i will tell you only what one of my favorite professors once told me: nobody's last words on their death bed are, "i wish i would have spent more time at the office." if this is something that would cause you to live in regret, you need to take care of it. it certainly sounds like she needs someone, and she trusts you. having said that...i realize how easy it is for me to type those words to an absolute stranger on a message board. I don't know how much I can help you...but I will DEFINITELY pray for you and for her. let me know how it turns out.
Depends on the situation and what her sickness is, I will hazard a guess and say anorexia? It sounds like she is really confused and needs a friend, you can be her friend, but you still have to live your life, it is not your fault if something happens to her, all you can do is be there for her when she needs a friend. Being that you have been sketchy with the details I would say you should do whatever you feel is right in your heart. DaDakota
It depends what is more important to you. What can you stand missing out on more? 1. You lose an opportunity to fast-track at this moment in your career choice. Although the experience you have now would allow you other opportunities (possibly with other companies), this was a definite thing. 2. You miss out on the last breathing moments of her life. She may have been the love of your life, but the direction of this relationship was temporary at most. Seems like in choice #1, you will have other chances to recover. Can you recover from #2? If you pick #2 but realize you can't recover as fast as you wish, you may end up losing your job anyway. (Don't underestimate emotional health in the workplace.)
ive had conversations with important people in my life about something like this before. if one of my friends or myself got sick (enough to die) the last thing i would want for them or myself is to be alone. i know id be at my friends side no matter what i had to give up because love is more important than anything to me. i know that some how my life would go on and i would want to make the rest of theirs as happy for them as possible, but i dont have a job and im just a senior in highschool. i just know that if you were my friend, id be there for you till the end physically and emotionally.
