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My Friend Lost His Wife

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by giddyup, Sep 21, 2012.

  1. giddyup

    giddyup Contributing Member

    Jan 24, 2002
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    My childhood friend recently lost his wife; here is what he shared publicly:

    "Ok everyone this space asks whats on my mind. No one needs to be sorry or heartbroken for my loss. I myself am heartbroken, but will survive this ordeal. For the people who were never fortunate enough to know this fantastic person,let me give you a rief medical history of her strength.

    June 12 2004 my family had a wonderful day at the Galveston. Leslie was not feeling well upon our return. about 6:30p she asked to be taken to the ER(about 2 miles) Let me call 911.NO I DON'T have time for ambulance. Off we go. They stabilized her and moved her to a different hospital.

    At 4amthe cardiologist called and said he did all he could and Leslie had a 5%chance of surviving. Nurses offered the Chaplain,I said no. 11 days on heart pump, ventilator,and a plethora of drugs.never opening her eyes ,squeezing my hand nothing. I left the hospital to pick up our children to return at 4p to end it. She was sitting up in bed talking to the nurse. Pretty tough lady, right.

    2 months later,august 12, 2004 the same thing happened. tough lady right? November 20th 2007 Leslie was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, was put on a feeding tube. April 4,2008 she had 4" of her esophagus and half her stomach removed in a 6 hr surgery. The next morning she was up walking. Tough enough. Have you ever fought a grizzly bear with a toothpick.

    May 10th 2008,our 19th anniversary,back to the hospital,pnuemonia. on the 9th day of this visit she calls at lunch to tell me she ready to come home. At 2:30p I get a call from MD Anderson it's her Dr. and he asks if i plan on coming to the hospital, of course, she wants to come home.Problem today he tells me. She had flatlined they worked on her pronounced her dead, covered up.and rolled hertoward the elevator to take her to the morgue. While waiting for the elevator she sat up and said"don't know what you guys did but I feel alot better,am I going home". Anybody want to pick a fight with my wife?

    Back on the feeding tube until November. once off the feeding tube she not only had to learn to chew,but to eat and swallow. In September of 2011 she was diagnosed with lung cancer. 1st round of chemo caused congestive heart failure,renal failure,adrenal failure. 2 1/2 weeks in the hospital. released from hospital 2nd round of chemo was postponed until around the 20th of november. Guess what Happens? congestive heart failure renal and adrenal failure again. the hospital stay lasted until December 20th,2011.

    January 2012 she began proton therapy,35 treatments over a 7 week period. In may 2012 we went for the results of PET,Cat scans. Lungs were clear,but, as the dr, broke down in 2tears there are 2 spots outside the lungs on lymph glands. on Sept 4 2012 she received a low dose single drug chemo dose. On Sept 16th finally convinced her to let me take her to MD Anderson ER for a check up. Sept 18th at 7:45a i received a call that she had flatlined and chest compressions were starting. I was 2 miles away.

    When I got to her there was a pulse(25) and blood pressure(40/25). As I held her,her heart stopped beating,chest compressions,15 minutes later,the 2nd person took over,as i watched,prayed and continued holding her left hand,tightness in my chest,tears flooding my face,shirt, pants and the floor where i was standing i said enough. the dr standing next to me asked if i was sure,yes,are you positive you want us to stop, yes stop. STOP SHE IS GONE I screamed. Please get out so I can be with my wife.

    They Turned off all machines and all meds. and left. Still with everything attached to her,but off, I was left alone with my wife I hugged her,held her close and watched every minute of every day from the moment i met her until the moment I screamed stop flash before my eyes. It was wonderful. a feeling of relief came over me. There would be no more pain or suffering. She had moved on to a much better place. HER BODY DIED HER SOUL AND SPIRIT WILL BE WITH ALL THAT KNEW HER FOREVER.

    So to those who never met her let me tell you the only thing you should be sorry about is that you never met this fantastic woman. Ask someone that knew her for even 1 day will inform you of her greatness and toughness. Laugh,Smile and continue enjoying what Leslie was about.
    #1 giddyup, Sep 21, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2012
    2 people like this.
  2. E_Saiyan

    E_Saiyan Member

    Oct 7, 2008
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    What an inspirational story. Thanks for sharing. I do indeed feel sorry for never meeting Leslie. My prayers are with your friend and his family.
  3. TdashDUB

    TdashDUB Contributing Member

    Oct 10, 2007
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    Very powerful story
  4. Jontro

    Jontro Member

    Feb 3, 2010
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    I don't know what to say. What a tough position for someone to have to go through. RIP Leslie, keep on truckin in the next life!
  5. freemaniam

    freemaniam 我是自由人

    Nov 18, 2005
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    Thanks for sharing your friend's story.

    Your friend is as tough a person as his wife.
  6. RedDynasty

    RedDynasty Member

    Jan 16, 2012
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    Rest in Peace. What an inspirational woman!
  7. mikol13

    mikol13 Protector of the Realm
    Supporting Member

    May 31, 2009
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    The love and strength that both friends showed is tremendous. RIP, best wishes to your friend.

    This is a kick in the face reminder for me to appreciate every second of every moment with my loved ones(which I do) because things are almost never as bad as they seem.

  8. esteban

    esteban Member

    Oct 21, 2008
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    RIP Leslie!

    I lost my best friend to cancer last year. Still felt that blow to the gut from time to time.

    Thanks giddyup for sharing, your friend is a great guy.
  9. K mf G

    K mf G Contributing Member

    Oct 10, 2007
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    thanks for sharing
  10. FranchiseBlade

    FranchiseBlade Contributing Member
    Supporting Member

    Jan 14, 2002
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    Tough situation alright. RIP Leslie
  11. CourtOfDreams

    CourtOfDreams Member

    Mar 8, 2011
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    Reminds me of my mom.

    Good Story Bro...
  12. swilkins

    swilkins Contributing Member

    Mar 5, 2003
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    My deepest condolences. She was a fighter.
  13. mogrod

    mogrod Contributing Member

    Oct 24, 2003
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    God bless your friend. She sounds like an amazing woman but it takes an amazing person/man to stand by her side and love her unconditionally through all of that.
  14. MadMax

    MadMax Contributing Member

    Sep 19, 1999
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    I really hope I go before my wife does. I'm sure she could handle living without me a ton better than I could imagine living without her.

    So sorry for your loss, giddyup.
  15. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Contributing Member

    Jul 20, 2001
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    Cool story, giddyup. :( R.I.P. ... that lady.

    Can't understand if the "dr" was the one in tears... in that Jan 2012 paragraph... or was it the husband? :confused:

    I, like you, hope I die before my wife and kids do, too, MadMax.
  16. finalsbound

    finalsbound Contributing Member

    Aug 31, 2000
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    i cried.

    rest in peace, leslie.
  17. DonnyMost

    DonnyMost be kind. be brave.

    May 18, 2003
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    I wish she could have gone without so much suffering, but it's obvious she fought like hell because she had something worth living for, which is a testament to her husband.
  18. LCAhmed

    LCAhmed Contributing Member

    Nov 10, 2009
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    I am holding back tears from this great story! Very powerful, moving, and inspirational, thank you for sharing, and may God give her a peaceful rest along with ease on all those who are affected by her passing.
  19. leroy

    leroy Contributing Member

    Jun 25, 2002
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    Wow. I was just thinking of all the crap I've had to deal with personally and professionally lately. I could add it all up and it wouldn't be .00001% of what I just read in that story. Really puts a whole lot of things in perspective.

    That was one tough broad.

    Thanks for sharing, giddy.
  20. yo

    yo Contributing Member

    May 20, 2001
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    This. Everyday, throughout the day, and at the end of the day, I'm always having to remind myself that my problems are so petty to non-existent. Yet it's not always comforting. I think sometimes it takes actually going through tough experiences to really, truly internalize perspective.

    I've had such a gravy life. Who wants to go through something like giddy's friend? Let alone his wife and the living hell of actually being ill and being treated? Yet how do we become stronger? I was moved and held back tears from the story, but it's obviously not nearly the same as actually going through it.

    Everyone is dealt such different cards. It's not fair.

    [/existential crisis]

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