[My First Book]: The Maxims of Manhood: 100 Rules for Real Men

Hey, everyone.

I feel sort of douchey for writing such a self-promotional post, but here goes. And it’s tangentially related to sports, so it’s kinda Rockets-appropriate.

Anyway, my first book recently came out--
The Maxims of Manhood: 100 Rules for Real Men.

It’s (mostly) a humor book. Think some of you guys might get a kick out of it. 100 rules divided into 10 chapters—Sports, Women, Work, Entertainment, etc.

From Amazon.com:

Product Description
Your dog must be larger than a toaster. Tip well. Never use the word "blossom." Outperform the GPS. Know how to chug a beer (and know that you shouldn't). Always hold the door. Never use emoticons.

These are The Maxims of Manhood. They cover every aspect of life: women, sports, sex, the office, family, entertainment, fashion, fitness, and more women. Some of these you'd expect. Some you wouldn't, as they usher in a modern code of masculinity (Your favorite book may not be The Da Vinci Code). In a series of 100 essays, the rules are analyzed, explained, vigorously defended and openly mocked. Every rule has an authorized exception. Except the ones that don't.

This book might not be for you. It's only intended for people who fall into one of these seven buckets: 1) you are a man; 2) you will become a man; 3) you were once a man; 4) you are related to a man; 5) you are dating or have married a man; 6) you think that in the future, perhaps, you will date or marry a man; 7) you know, or think that at some point you will know--whether casually or formally--a man.

Here’s the link to the book on Amazon:
link

Again, I feel like a tool for saying this, but if you’re in the hunt for a random gift to give some dude, here’s a possibility.

Also, some of these rules, probably, were informed from my lurking on these very Clutchfans hangout forums...

Thanks for reading the post--

 

Heh - exactly. That's exactly what I wrote in my Intro.
(Actually, if you want a sample, here's an excerpt from the Intro):
http://www.maximsofmanhood.com/Intro.html

Emoticons: I've broken that rule and just about all 100. (Rule #100 is "Never blindly follow rules or maxims.")

Thanks for the congrats -- it was a fun book to write.

And if anyone has any other rules that should be in a sequel, fire away...

Oh! Almost forgot. You guys will like this. In the Acknowledgements section, I thanked "Hakeem Olajuwon for '94 and '95" and "Warren Moon for what might have been." Also, I referenced T-Mac's 13 points in 33 seconds in the Maxim "Stay until the end."

And yeah, I think I just used another exclamation point.

 

Ha - thanks again, and yeah, I really wish I got a blurb on the back jacket that would say this: "A great book for the sh##ter." Now that would be a hell of a review.

Book pricing / Clutchfans discounts- Sadly, I don't have any power over pricing. But it's cheaper to get it on Amazon than in Borders and Barnes & Noble. Btw, oddly, Borders has this filed under their "Reference" section. WTF? Reference?!! Do they expect someone to stroll up to the information desk and say, "Excuse me. I'm looking for a compendium on how to be a man."

Emoticons - out of all the shady, sketchy things in this book (dating stories, sex, rules about meeting women, etc) I never would have guessed that Emoticons would spark the most controversy. There was this huge thread on Asylum.com, with 85 comments from dudes with passionate, vocal opinions on exclamation points. (They also excerpted that rule):

http://www.asylum.com/2009/06/24/the-manly-case-against-exclamation-points/