Well, being as I'm on vacation, I felt like going down to the bar to have a few cold ones. My girlfriend Luv and I had a sweet little discussion about it. Here's what it sounded like. FT-"Honey, I'll be right back..." Luv-"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" FT-"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." Luv-"You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed me 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. I didn't know what to do, and the only thing that I could think of saying was, "Yes, loolie loolie...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..." I didn't get to finish the sentence, because Luv interrupted me by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. I, now looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" Luv-"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. FT-"But sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." Luv-"You want dirty words, cutie pie?... "LISTEN UP, D1CKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FVCKING BEER IN YOUR GOD-D@MN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFVCKING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, @SSHOLE?"
hehehe...that beer commercial that shows the guy partying his ass off throughout, then at the end, his girlfriend asked him what he did last night, and he says not much is probably not helping your case out much. You should tell your "Little Debbie Double Chocolate Swiss Cake Roll" that all relationships depend on mutual trust and that you are completely trustworth. Then go party your tail off.
Actually, this was a joke that I got in the email...I just modified it a bit. I don't go out to bars. I actually don't drink much at all...I've seen to many lives messed up by it. I just thought the joke was kind of funny.
All I could think of when reading that was Cartman talking to his slutty Mom on South Park. I was thinking this would be a normal conversation for them if Cartman and his Mom were dating or married. But, then I thought....why would Cartman have gotten off his fat ass in the first place. If he did, then why would he go to the bar since he is underage and he would only go to see Kyle, Stan, and Kenny(or Kenny replacement) as those are his only friends. So, then I thought this would better be represented by Cartman having surpassed the drinking age, found a woman to date just like his slutty Mom, moved in with her, and then was in a position to have this conversation with his significant other. Then, I thought that is one f-cked up household as the man is on a shorter leash than a dog hoping his biyatch will throw him a freaking bone and let him go to the bar.
and the two fine a$$ hotties applying in my office right now need to be tied up with those leashes and pleased by daddy!
