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My Far Fetched Theory: Kissing is derived from Great White Sharks

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by PhiSlammaJamma, Dec 11, 2021.

  1. PhiSlammaJamma

    PhiSlammaJamma Member

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    Yep. Far Fetched for a Friday night. I expect ridicule. But mark it down.

    We kiss because of Great White Sharks.

    The Theory begins with cats and great white sharks.

    1. Theory: Cats are direct descendants of Great White Sharks
    -All cats detect vibrations and currents using their whiskers and front legs. They are incredibly adept at this, navigating the dark on vibrations and currents alone. Great White sharks detect vibrations and currents using the same sensors, and are able to navigate the same way.
    - Cats and Great White Sharks both have a white underbelly
    - Cats and Great White Sharks both have a third eyelid.
    - Cats and Great White Sharks both eat a lot of tuna.
    - Great White Sharks are native to Northern and Southern Africa, Cats to Africa and Egypt.
    - Cats and Great White Sharks are generally loners.
    - Cats and Great White Sharks both have light sensitive eyes that glow in the dark.

    2. Fact: Cats bump heads to leave their scent.

    3. Theory: That monkeys interacted with cats and learned the behavior of bumping heads. Or that Monkeys are direct descendants of cats.

    4. Theory: Humans instinctively bump heads to leave their scent     because monkeys did it. And that is where kissing comes from. Humans do it instinctively because monkeys did it, monkeys learned it instinctively from cats, and cats learned it instinctively from Great White Sharks.

    Things left to do:
    - Prove that Great White Sharks Purr
    - Prove that Great White Sharks bump their head on things to leave a scent.
    - Prove that Monkeys and Cats interacted a lot in Northern Africa, or that Cats and Monkeys are genetically linked.
    - Figure out why Cats really hate water... perhaps because they were forced to leave it.
    - Find genetic evidence linking cats and great white sharks.
     
    #1 PhiSlammaJamma, Dec 11, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2021
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  2. Squirtle

    Squirtle Member

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    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    #2 Squirtle, Dec 11, 2021
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  3. DonkeyMagic

    DonkeyMagic Contributing Member
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    [​IMG]
     
    #3 DonkeyMagic, Dec 11, 2021
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  4. Surfguy

    Surfguy Contributing Member

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    It derived from monkeys licking each other's a-holes. Then, they moved it to the face because food was involved.
     
    #4 Surfguy, Dec 11, 2021
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  5. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    Similar question: do sharks lick their buttholes like cats do?
     
    #5 Xerobull, Dec 11, 2021
  6. ico4498

    ico4498 Member
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    beware 4:10 am insights.
     
    #6 ico4498, Dec 11, 2021
  7. IBTL

    IBTL Member
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    how do snakes fck
     
    #7 IBTL, Dec 11, 2021
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  8. heypartner

    heypartner Contributing Member

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    They learned it instinctively from p*****s
     
    #8 heypartner, Dec 11, 2021
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  9. IBTL

    IBTL Member
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    phislammajammas?
     
    #9 IBTL, Dec 11, 2021
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  10. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    Theory gestated and was born in the witching hour, reported shortly after.
     
    #10 Xerobull, Dec 11, 2021
  11. Ottomaton

    Ottomaton Contributing Member
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    Not flexible enough.
     
    #11 Ottomaton, Dec 11, 2021
  12. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS
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    Does a female shark's vajayjay smell like fish?
     
    #12 boomboom, Dec 11, 2021
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  13. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    [​IMG]

    Rocket River
     
    #13 Rocket River, Dec 14, 2021
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  14. Xerobull

    Xerobull You son of a b!tch! I'm in!

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    If a shark gets a trout pout do the other sharks try to eat it?
     
    #14 Xerobull, Dec 14, 2021
  15. CrazyJoeDavola

    CrazyJoeDavola Member

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    So if a great white is responsible for 1st base, would that mean kangaroos are responsible for 2nd base?

    [​IMG]
     
    #15 CrazyJoeDavola, Dec 14, 2021
  16. CrazyJoeDavola

    CrazyJoeDavola Member

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    Btw, 3rd base is also derived from sharks:

    *spoilered due to "size"

    [​IMG]
     
    #16 CrazyJoeDavola, Dec 14, 2021
  17. Jontro

    Jontro Member

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    but who did it first?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    #17 Jontro, Dec 14, 2021
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