meeting people..on the ..freaking internet..

I was just talking with my girlfriend about this. We had been talking about dating services and the discussion moved into meeting people on the internet. Virtual interaction is appealing because there's less baggage involved (physical appearance, visual markers) and it's conducive toward intimate communication, talking about things important to oneself, no need for small talk, etc. Chat rooms from early on have been structured along the lines of common interest or forms of identity. In this way, people can get to "know" each other more deeply than people often can get to know each other in the physical world.

At the same time, virtual communication has limits in facilitating true "getting to know someone." Because of the removal of physical appearance, other visual markers, physical environment, etc., people can therefore more selectively present themselves, which makes such interaction attractive as discussed, but makes truly getting to know someone more difficult because individuals are in such control over the way they are presented. Hence, the fears of "strangers," "child predators," etc. If you want to truly know someone, authors in books I've been reading, point out that you need to see them in different real-world contexts. The internet, because of the traits mentioned above and its "distance" from the physical world and those real-world contexts give you an extremely limited perspective of that person.

I'm not sure of the point of the preceding paragraphs, but I think meeting people online just exemplifies the increased importance of internet communication in our lives. If the internet is your primary way of meeting people, I think that says scary things about your life. But I wouldn't let this bother you. Yeah, I'd feel weird too, in your position. But I also felt weird when I first got a cell phone, specifically thinking "damn, I'm turning into a yuppie." But because of their functional value, cell phones are becoming one of the most necessary accessories for the typical middle-class Joe, for better or for worse.

Increased ease in physical transportation will make long-distance relationships less impractical and more common. As they do, relationships born out of internet meetings will be seen as less deviant.

Say hi to your friend for me.

 

Dude, there's nothing wrong with meeting chicks on the computer...As long as they dont live like 15 hours away from you. Sometimes getting to know a girl on AIM is better than getting to know them by talking on the phone, there aren't ever any odd stretches of silence while you listen to the other person breathe like there can be on the phone.

I've never completely met a girl on the computer, but this girl that I ended up dating @ my high school talked to me for the first time on AIM. She probably wouldn't have given me the time of day in person, just because we weren't really from the same social cliques, but we ended up talking to each other through a mutual friend and we are still great friends 3 years later.

For me, a lot of the time its just easier to talk to a girl on the computer while you get to know them. I can 'be myself' a lot easier. You can't hear them laugh at you or see them give you an odd look if you do something really stupid, etc...

 

There's nothing to be ashamed of. In the high stress, fast paced world we live in there it has become increasingly difficult for singles to meet people. This is just another avenue.

 

Dude, it's only wrong if the girl on the other end isn't the person she says she is, i.e. an older women, a man, or a psycho murderer. You met a girl who you could easily talk to, you get along, she is pretty, and she likes you. WTF is wrong? You should be thanking God for that kind of a blessing. Don't worry about that stuff, just think about how great things are now.

 

Between my marriages, I used to do the personal ad thing. It was fun. I didn't have too great an expectation. I used it to make myself get out.

Coming out of a 15-year marriage, it's hard to just start dating again.

The IM today is the telephone of the early 90's.

Did I tell you about the woman who told me that she was told that she resembled Lady Diana Spencer? Well, she was twice as good looking... and her clothes were twice the size, too !!!

Then there was the woman I spent 6 hours chasing via the phone for a first date. We met and, in person, things fizzled. Turns out she was engaged to a guy from out of town. She was just "checking things out..." Live and learn.

I did meet one very compelling woman and lost her back to her boyfriend. Rats. Next.

A few months later, I met my current wife at a business mixer. Now we have two beautiful daughters (3 and 1). I'll stop now; you may not wish to go there....

 

Relativist is right. You can't tell about real-life potential until you meet people in person. (Elvis and I originally 'met' on the internet, though. On the Elvis Costello discussion list. Can you imagine anything more r****dedly dorky? ) It depends on a whole lot of things. I'd even go so far as to say that *where* you 'meet' them on the internet can make a difference, too. Like, an AOL chatroom devoted to hot chicks and how they like to get down: probably not so reliable. But a relatively obscure mailing list devoted to an eclectic English singer-songwriter: well, you *must* have something important in common if you both sought *that* out! You know?

 

When you're online, you have the power to control what you see and when you say something. It's nothing like the human to human experience. If things hit it off after you meet in person, it shouldn't be tainted just because the job was easier than meeting a stranger face to face.

If I were in your shoes, I'd be thinking why my mind is making wierd standards on what you should be doing instead of realizing that you have a good looking girl to hang out with.

 

I met people on-line thru match.com. Had a couple of girlfriends out of it to. No big deal. Met a few girls who were not as attractive as I thought. But what do you expect. They shouldn't have put slim and slender when they were actually piggy feet. And they put up a cute picture when they didn't look like that anymore. But overall I'd say about half the women have been cool. The other half have been great on the phone, but in person, that's a whole new ball game. Trust me.

Right now I'm dating a tenth grade school teacher. Go figure. It's good fun. Just like regular dating. You never know what your going to get.

Oddly, I get a lot of physical therapists contacting me.

 

I met my wife on the internet. =) It works for some and not others. The best advice I would give some would be not to get attached or into someone before you atually meet them. Im sure all of you know how much a person will lie or bend the truth (i.e. Im 5'5'', 125 lbs. with a muscular build .......REAL LIFE: I'm 5'5'', and USED to be 125 lbs. when I was 18, but am know pushing a buck 50 and the only musclular build I have is in my mouth from eating too many bon bons).

Seriously, I once met this girl about 6 years ago (she told me she was 5'9'', 145 lbs) and before we met, she explained to me that due to some kind of medication she was on, she was retaining a "lil bit of water". Well we met at a bar (thank God because I needed a drink afterwards) and when she showed up, she was taller than I am (I was 6'2'' at the time) and wasnt even wearing heels. As far as the whole retaining a "lil bit of water" thing, she must have been retaining Lake Conroe because she was all of 235 lbs.

 

Meeting people on the Internet? Ooooh scaaary... all the people on the Internet are weirdos!

... hmmm.

 

LOL! Good story! Now you've officialy scared me from ever doing something like that.
Retaining water? That's priceless. I think I'm going to start using that.

 

What makes it funny is, its true!

Ive been on the net for a good 6 years now and as much time as I have spent on it, ive only met 3 people. The "retaining water" girl, another girl I actually dated for 1 1/2 years and then my wife. Luckily I didnt let the first one discourage me.

 

I would have to agree that there is generally some negative connotations attached to dating/meeting people off the internet, but I think it is awesome. It is amazing how isolated people can get in this world, and if the internet provides a medium for matching and meeting, all the better.

While I haven't dated anyone off the internet, I've met a few people, and they weren't too wierd. (heypartner, Clutch, Jeff)

 

I went to the movie with RM95 after meeting him on here. Does that count as a date?

 

I met this one girl on Yahoo, and we hooked up one night and got really drunk and ended up engaging in sexual intercourse. The next week or so, she kept calling me, but I was too ashamed of the fact we had met on the friggin internet and had drunken sloppy sex the next day, so I never returned any of her calls. I have to drive by her house everyday too, and I cringe each time...

 

back in high school me and a friend played a really cruel joke on another friend's cousin, who we couldn't stand.

in a nutshell, we had heard he was flirting with young teenagers on AOL. we pretended to be a 13-year old girl in a chatroom on AOL (he was 17) and flirted with him. he was actually sick enough to flirt back. we didn't know whether to laugh or vomit.

anyways, we let the charade continue for 20 minutes until finally we decided to say were were HPD and that his house would be surrounded by cops in 5 minutes for underage soliciatation.

looking back, i don't know if we were cruel or performing a public service.

morale of the story... people aren't always what the seem online.

 

That was my sister you sick b*stard!

Seriously...the 'net is a good way to meet someone. As mentioned, places like Match.com let you see a pic (although not always a good representation) first. You can email each other without them having your actual email address until you want them to have it. It's just sorta like real dating in that you have to take it slow.

 

He probably thought it did.

 

Imagine travelling days by plane and risking meeting a bunch of internet sports geeks, i will let you all know after April how freaky and scary it can be!!!

PS MrPaige - please tell me RM95 didn't put his hand on your knees reaching for the popcorn