Married + Kids Stereotype?

Well, I'm married and in my mid 20's. We probably won't ever have kids, but that's mainly because we discovered a few years ago that we can't from a medical point of view. I honestly am nowhere near ready for them anyways though.

<Insert Debbie Downer pic here>

 

Franchise3, I'm right there with ya too.. I have been together with the same girl for 7 years, but she knows like you I wanted to establish myself before I get engaged and even then I want to hold off to get married for at least a year. I also don’t want to have kids for another 2 or so after I’m married.. I have seen many people around me get married and have kids and they are very happy, but I feel that it's allot of work that will only be easier if you are more established in life before you take on such huge responsibilities like marriage and kids.. I don’t think I’m be starting a family until I’m 30 or so.. The only thing I can tell you about holding off is the milestones seem to mean more to me and helped push me further to obtain my goals..

 

I'm not married and don't have any kids.

Might get married someday but still won't have any kids.

What am I missing?

Dirty diapers, screaming rugrats, a debt-filled life, constant exhaustion, whining, etc. etc. etc.

I knew by the time I got out of college that I would never ever have kids. Self-awareness is a good thing.

 

I'm not married, and I'm enjoying my single life. I've always been in a relationship from the age of 16, so it's like waking up to a breath of fresh air every morning.

Kids? Sure, if I was rich and could afford to have a wife stay home and take care of them while maintaining my current life style. Other than that, no thanks.

Here's the kicker though, as I get older, I seek out women with at least half a brain, and a personality. Most of these women tend to be older (25-29) and have marriage and kids on their minds!

It's a f'n catch-22 is what it is.

Sincerely,

Selfish and proud of it.

 

Or they're already divorced with children.

 

I am married, in my 30's and dont have kids. When I was younger I thought I might want to have kids, but I really wasn't thinking about what the demands would be, just that it seemed like "the thing to do."

But presently, my wife and I just arent itching to have them. We like the freedom and flexibility to do things and not have kids tie us down. And honestly, I am not sure I have the patience for kids right now.

 

No reason to be a "downer" here. Keep trying, my man. Nature finds a way.

Believe me. Once you cheat on your wife or she cheats on you, you will have found out it was possible. jk

Keep trying.

 

I've been married for 5 years and we don't plan on ever having kids. It's just too much of a hassle. If we did have kids we would probably adopt. There are a lot more kids who really need parents than yuppies that really need kids.

 

30 is not old. That's going to hit you pretty quickly. None of my close friends are married with children. I think they're wasting their lives away. They think my life is miserable like Al Bundy. It's somewhere in between.

There's also certain feeling of fulfillment to raise children. At the end of the day, nothing beats hearing "Daddy".

 

Great thread.

I got married really young and had my first shortly thereafter so "married with kids" has been my label for many years but for me it's different...I think.

I never wanted to be an "old dad", the father that sits around on the sofa and watches his kids grow up around him never taking advantage of what the kids bring to the table. Because of my kids I keep have youthful perspective at my disposal while maintaining my adult status. I watch as much MTV as I do CNN! I have an IPOD and an 8 track! I have opinions on Hillary Clinton and Hillary Duff! I have achieved "cool dad" status among my kids friends which is just as important to me as "cool dude" status among my friends.

Never think that having kids is the end of anything...

...It's the beginning of everything!


-Cool Dad

 

same here. i don't plan on marriage til i'm at least 35. at that point, 20 year olds will still find me attractive. don't want kids till i'm 38, and at most, only 1. i figure, my wife will be about 28 and she'll be prime to take care of the kid.

 

I had four kids from age 30 onwards. Your plan is fine...

 

Hey, Another, some cool dude has been posting under your nick.

I have a four-year-old and a seven-year-old here. I am thirty though I have no regrets. Yes, I am the "cool dad" stereotype just like Another bro.

Lazy ass and scaredy cat (MEOWgi).

What's wrong with having your very own? You don't want to spread your seed? Just seems selfish to me that you don't want them at all. It would be different and a lot more selfish to say: "Not now, I want to have fun with my wife", but I respect that you say that out loud. To each his own.

It would change EVERYTHING if you were to tell me that YOU were adopted. Anyway, I don't want to get too personal here.

 

When I was younger, wasn't sure I wanted to have kid (s).

Not that I do, I think its made me a better person, more responsible, etc.

I can have the worst day in the world, but coming home and being able to play with my son, give him a bath and put him to bed takes that all away.

Yes, there are dirty diapers, whining, etc. The upside to it, BY FAR, outweighs all the negative stuff and if the negative stuff makes you not want to have one, well, you probably aren't ready for the responsibility anyway.

 

Married for 8 years, in my 30's, no kids - and no plans to have kids.

My wife and I enjoy not having the stress of raising and providing for kids. Our house is paid off, we have two cute dogs, and my golf game has never been bettter!

 

Who am I being selfish towards, children that don't exist? I think that people who don't have kids are doing the world a favor. We have too many people already. We really don't need any new subdivisions or malls etc. There are enough suvs with "baseball Tyler" window stickers as it is. Plus my wife taught high school for 8 years in Santa Fe TX, that can be thought as permanent birth control.

 

i'm not picking on you Swoly, but i hate when people call it "selfish". why would anyone want to have kids that their not fully ready for? i think that's doing the kids a disservice.

and sure, it's wonderful growing up with your kids. but, what if your teenager turns out to be a black sheep? everything he/she does only gets them and your family in more trouble. that's teh case with my aunt and uncle.

i'm not saying they regret having my cousins, but 3 out of 4 of them have gotten in trouble with the law and it's been an emotional and financial drain on them. i'm sure alot of people will say it's a reflection of the parenting, but i know it goes deeper than that.

 

There's already too many people in the world.

Trust me, I'd be doing the world a huge favor by NOT having kids...

 

2005 was my 20th anniversary.

It's not always easy, but if you love the people around you, it's worth it.