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Lesson on Economics you won't get from an MBA program (Joke)

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by LooneyToon, Sep 22, 2004.

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  1. LooneyToon

    LooneyToon Contributing Member

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    SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
    COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and gives you some milk.
    FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and sells you some milk.
    NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
    BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.
    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd
    multiplies, the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You go on strike! because you want three.
    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you, but you
    charge others for storing them.
    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have 5
    cows. You count them again and realize there are 42. You count them again, and
    you have 2 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka.
    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You have 300
    people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman that reported the numbers.
    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You worship them.
    A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Both of them are mad.
    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth
    the size of a normal cow and produce 20 times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image, call it Cowkimon, and market it worldwide.
     
    #1 LooneyToon, Sep 22, 2004
  2. tim562

    tim562 Member

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    Great Joke!!
     
    #2 tim562, Sep 22, 2004
  3. pippendagimp

    pippendagimp Member

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    AN IRAQI CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You sell them both for $100 to Halliburton, who then milks them and sells milk bottles to the US Military for $100 a pop.
     
    #3 pippendagimp, Sep 22, 2004
  4. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Atomic Playboy
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    Actually there is a MBA program on these two cows at Jesse Jones business school.

    ;)
     
    #4 KingCheetah, Sep 22, 2004
  5. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    REAGONOMICS : You have 2 cows, The government thinks you are a lazy little b****, so they take your cows away and give them to a farmer with 500,000 cows.


    :eek:
     
    #5 moestavern19, Sep 22, 2004
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2004
  6. BrianKagy

    BrianKagy Member

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    Jesus, ****ing, Christ.
     
    #6 BrianKagy, Sep 22, 2004
  7. DonnyMost

    DonnyMost Member
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    #7 DonnyMost, Sep 22, 2004
  8. DonnyMost

    DonnyMost Member
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    #8 DonnyMost, Sep 22, 2004
  9. rockbox

    rockbox Around before clutchcity.com

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    LOL
     
    #9 rockbox, Sep 22, 2004
  10. nyquil82

    nyquil82 Member

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    Bushinomics: You have two cows. You kill them and feed the beef to the fattest people you can find. You blame the lack of milk on the former owner of the cows. You tell everyone you have a great farm with great freedoms and that we need to get rid of evildoers that threaten our way of life and hate how we live. You take some pictures of yourself with a big shovel to show everyone how hard a worker you are and then take the week off.


    Clintonomics: You have two cows. You get them to produce a lot of milk in an efficient manner. You have sex with one of your cows. No one really wants or cares about your milk anymore.
     
    #10 nyquil82, Sep 22, 2004
  11. Dubious

    Dubious Member

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    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    Correction:
    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. The Standard Cow Corporation buys all the milk companies so you can't sell your milk. You are forced to sell them your cows. When they own all the cows they double the price of milk. The CEO of Standard Cow then fires all his union workers and pays only minimum wage since there are no other jobs left in the milk industry. The CEO of Standard Cow retires with 500 million dollar severance package. You run up huge credit card debt, lose your house, and have to wait 6 months for indigent care for your depression at the charity clinic.

    You don't make it six months, you freak out and kill the CEO.
    His family has to pay $250 million in estate taxes, ironically about the same amount his company saved by busting the union.

    You are sent to prison where his tax dollars are spent at a ridiculous rate providing you with three meals a day and free health care. Your job at the prison is to take care of two cows.
     
    #11 Dubious, Sep 22, 2004
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2004
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