Dear Clutchfans, I would prefer to direct this to the more vocal Texans fans on other, singularly Texans-related message boards, but the barrier for me to register for those sites is greater than my desire to get this message out, so here you go. I know people are a bit sad and frustrated now that Cushing is out for the year, but let's take a moment to reflect back on history so as not to repeat it. I'm talking about our pleasurable penchant for murdering the messenger, Mr. John McClain himself. No, he's not John "McLame" or "Pancakes". Let's just call him by his real name. For now. Over the years we Houston fans have made it a habit and really (since the Astros started sucking it in 2006) our city's #1 pastime, to jump all over McClain and his "coverage" of the Houston Texans. I'm here to tell you that we shouldn't. Look, the last thing I want to do is lie to you by slapping lipstick on a corpulent sports journalist. Our local beat writer for our local NFL franchise could be better. No one's denying that. Right now if you forced me to go to the Chronicle's sports section, I would probably check out Lance Z's blog, and then Steph Stradley's, and then one of Tania Ganguli's color pieces, and then maybe the blog hosted by that "Ultimate Texans" fan or whatever. And then I might click on that article about the winner of the roach-eating contest being dead (RIP Ass Dan). But the point is, eventually I would click on John McClain's grades for the Texans. And you know what? I wouldn't criticize it. Because no matter what, we know that he's tried his best. Momma there goes that man. The Texans are everything to McClain, and ever since Bud Adams left and took with him every inroad McClain ever had into an NFL front office, the baton has been passed to us, the knowledgeable viewership, to support John McClain and make sure he can still do what he loves to do. Just put yourself in his shoes. You're old. You don't have a wife or kids. You drive a crappy car. You're a dinosaur in a dinosaur industry, grandfathered into keeping your job because your salary is so low that it really doesn't matter either way to the newspaper. Every Monday (Tuesday?) you have to go on the radio and defend yourself against people who make fun of your voice and your waddling gait. That's a horrible life, man. When you go take a dump, it probably stinks and is greasy as hell. You know it's unnatural for a man to have greasy dumps. Take animals for instance. They don't have toilet paper, and they never even have to wipe. Pristine. You know what you call it when a dog gets diarrhea? Dragass. And that's what he has to live with every day. The team's winning now. We're the best we've ever been. John McClain should be able to enjoy that. He's earned it. So just remember folks, next time you find yourself bored and on chron.com thinking, "that's like, the opposite of the truth," just remember that there might be a day in the very near future where we don't have a John McClain to blame anymore. And then we'll all feel guilty for the times we trolled him about those Anna-Megan videos. Giddy Up, John
To look at the real appreciation of things anywhere, its advised to just keep a distance away from message boards altogether.
if the texans are everything to him, why does he have a show in Tennessee? in my country, they throw you to lions for that. yes?
At every Coack Kubiak's press conferences after games, he always say, "John, @#$#.... John, @#$#@.... You know, John. @#$#@" Coach Kube likes him. I know John is on his last leg because I've seen new columnists, or writers that I haven't seen write about Texans.
HE DOES?!?!?!? Man, F*#$&%( that crap. At first I was pissed at him for covering the Titans while we had a Texans team here... and that he would first report on them than the Texans... but now I find this out... ugh, it sickens me. He lives in HOUSTON, for Pete's sake! First the Fat Boys break up... now this?!?!?
The guy is the most pessimistic beat writer i have ever seen. The texans are 5-0 for the first time in history and he's treating them like they are 0-5. I understand he doesen't want to look like a homer but my god he is taking pessmism to a whole new level.
Actually, he does have a wife. He said it idk how many times on the radio that his wife is a Redskins fan.
790, 1560, and ESPN were all on commercial this morning so I tuned in to 610. Pancakes was on there. And I'm not exaggerating here... but he says something along the lines of "I'd pick my head up from time to time to catch the game, you know, I can't just sit and watch the games since I'm writing". I assume he's writing about.... the team and the game. That's about right.
I had an aunt that used to have to carry around a tank of oxygen just like John, and let me tell you it's not easy to keep your wits about you when you're wearing that mask just to help you not feel short of breath. Give the man some credit!
I'm visiting some family this weekend and so I just got a healthy dose of pancakes on the local news. Holy hell, how does this guy have a job in print media, let alone TV? He is in the total five for nfl beat reporters.
