It's Still Racism: WSJ's "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior"

I don't have kids, but I treat my cats hispanically.

 

Why the hell do you feel insulted? Because it's the truth? Asian parents are more discipline because of the culture and religion(especially Buddhism) they are brought up in.

 

Call it covert racism, but I'll hire a well-rounded kid any day over some automaton.

It's important for parents to spend more time with their children and make sure they're on the right track, but to rigorously enforce some predetermined template that mentally burns down your kids is selfish.

There is no set quota that society needs so many engineers, doctors, or composers. Figure out the kid's strengths and encourage them.

I'm saying this from personal experience growing up with Asian children. One of my good friends is an investment banker and she's always been a gunner throughout her life. On paper, she is everything Amy Chua (and superficial society) wants: leadership positions throughout HS and college, played the violin, has a career where she makes close to seven figures, etc.

The catch? She's on four anti-depressants, has had three marriages, cannot hold a relationship with any family, doesn't have any life outside work, and breaks down with even the slightest criticism.

 

Not a single part of your post is accurate, pretty amazing given how short it is.

 

Why the Piano or Violin?

Rocket River

 

this post makes Miles kinda...blue.

 

This article hits on some points a tad heavy. Its less a journalistic article and seems self-congratulatory.

(I also see this attitude with WOMEN IN GENERAL towards men. Change Chinese mother to "mothers" in general, and change Western women to "men", and its the "men are deadbeats" thing. I guess no one is safe now)

I don't have kids so I won't speak too much on parenting. Just I see the mantra of "Takes a village to raise a child", but then parents don't want to accept any feedback from the village thats helping raise the child

Being demanding in itself isnt an entirely bad thing, as long as its not one-dimensional. I wish my parents pushed me HARDER to succeed.

 

I didn't read the article, but i'm guessing she is talking about Chinese-American mothers.

 

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Actually she says a lot of western-born mothers of Chinese heritage are not "Chinese mothers."

 

I agree with the general idea of the article, but also agree that it is pretty racist and masturbatory.

The fact of the matter is, parents need to be firm with their children. If you get them involved with an instrument, then follow through and make sure they work hard at that instrument. I remember when I was younger, I used to envy my friends and how their parents would simply let them quit sports/music whenever they didn't want to do it anymore. Now that I look back, I kind of secretly feel a little bit superior to them because I actually have athletic, musical, and artistic ability and most of my friends are just a bunch of empty-handed "intellectuals".

This is not just restricted to Chinese mothers, though, which is where my problem with the article comes in. I have a few white American friends whose parents were very firm and pushy as well. One of them ended up becoming a very exceptional musician and is studying in NYC right now, and practices at least 3 hours a day.

And in rare cases, children can prosper DESPITE their parents as well.

Something that I take issue with in that article is the idea that Chinese parents know something is only fun when you're really good at it... are you kidding me? Asian parents don't give a rat's ass about "fun". They want you to do what they want you to do. It's about honor and image, not about fun. And this is coming from someone who was raised in a similar culture.

 

She actually addresses this early in the article:

My problem with the article is that the lack of social skills that results from this type of parenting is detrimental to the very type of "success" she wants the children to achieve. I agree with a lot of what she says (like the need to be strict and push children), but like everything there needs to be moderation.

 

Basically I think this article says kids need discipline and that in the West, kids don't get enough of it.

Not physical or verbal discipline, but just being forced to stick with something until they get good at it instead of parents accepting they don't want to or can't do it.

 

Don't Chinese mothers employ whippings?

 

Black mothers do.

 

Spot on bigtexxx -- I believe it is their primary means of mind control.

 

I think this sums it up, but it's not just Asians, I know white and black kids with parents who discpline and push their children, mine included. However, I should note that a lot of my korean classmates who are ethier foreign born or 1st generation have extremely demanding parents. Most of their parents push them to be doctors, instead of letting them choose a career path they actually want.

 

Having met and interacted with a number of people brougt up in his environment, I can confidently say I'd be disappointed if my kid ends up like them generally - anal, curt, somewhat lacking socially, rigid, lacking creativity, etc. I've met some well rounded kids of this ilk as well, but even they can't help themselves - they are constantly worried about "success"'- just a version of it that is distorted from anything I'd call a happy life.

My kids will be disciplined, as a means of learning how to be good person and functionIng happy, diversified adult.

 

Discipline is essential, but this kind of high-octane one-track approach will only lead to resentment in the West where individualism is valued much higher than the success of the general populace.

The "do what makes you happy" approach may have its critics, but it leads to the most innovative minds in the world.