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It's a cookbook!***

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by mrpaige, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. mrpaige

    mrpaige Contributing Member

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    Hey everybody. I used to post here a lot, and then I didn't.

    And now even though pretty much everyone who remembers when I did post here is long gone, I still sometimes come back, read a few threads, post a few inane comments that no one reads and then pitter patter on my way feeling good about having interacted with someone other than my cats.

    At any rate, as part of my court-ordered anger management process, I spent the last eight weeks or so writing in my "dream journal", and what I wrote was such pure awesomeness* that I decided to change a few names, pretend the whole thing is fictional and claim that it was always intended to be a novel rather than the rantings of a clearly delusional middle-aged man.

    The result is called "You'll Get Yours, Finkman!" And it's a purportedly** funny book about a kid whose parents send him to summer camp somewhere near Lake Livingston where he meets both the love of his life and his mortal enemy - the most annoying kid on the planet, Lewis Finkman.

    Ask for it at your seedier booksellers today.

    * and by "awesomeness", I of course mean sheer and utter averageness, at best.
    ** purportedly is an adjective that means allegedly, reputed or claimed.
    *** The title of this thread is a reference the classic Twilight Zone episode To Serve Man. Too late spoiler alert if you haven't seen the episode.
     
    2 people like this.
  2. paulftsk

    paulftsk Member

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    Give me an excerpt :)
     
  3. Cannonball

    Cannonball Contributing Member

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    Did that "Maybe, Maybe No" movie ever get made?
     
  4. mrpaige

    mrpaige Contributing Member

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    A very brief excerpt:

    I briefly considered running away into the nearby woods as it seemed like the best possible option at the time. But as the message to make a break for it filtered from the panic center of my brain down to my limbs, the more rational part of my brain considered the possibility that there might be bears in the woods. Sure, my Dad told me there weren’t any bears within hundreds of miles of Camp Prometheus, but he also once told me that girls would like me if I took trumpet lessons. And we all know how right he was about that.
     
  5. mrpaige

    mrpaige Contributing Member

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    Not yet.

    Still trying, though.
     
  6. Kam

    Kam Contributing Member

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    I think someone asked about you in one of those where's he been thread or something similar like that.
     
  7. mvpcrossxover

    mvpcrossxover Member

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    i saw twilight in the tags then i laughed
     
  8. mrpaige

    mrpaige Contributing Member

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    I see that now. Thank you.

    Behad was able to find me through email, and I was able to disappoint a person he probably cares about with my inadequacy and inability to get people I thought I knew pretty well to return a single email.

    That will probably be the only time you ever see the words "Twilight" and "Awesomeness" together in the same group of words.
     
  9. Behad

    Behad Contributing Member

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    It all worked out in the end, and your advice was a big help. Thanks

    Do I get a chapter in the book?
     
  10. SacTown

    SacTown Member

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    mrpaige, are you a Titans fan?
     
  11. Yonkers

    Yonkers Contributing Member

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    Kindle edition only 99 cents? Heck. I'll plop that down to support a fellow CF. What will you do with the 8 cents you're about to get?
     
  12. Pole

    Pole Houston Rockets--Tilman Fertitta's latest mess.

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    I miss you.








    .......but that's hardly a seal of approval you'll want to hang around your neck.
     
  13. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Contributing Member

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  14. mrpaige

    mrpaige Contributing Member

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    No.

    The camp being named for a Titan (Prometheus) came from the fact that I went to a camp called Camp Olympia when I was a kid.

    8 cents? I get 35 cents for each Kindle sale thank you very much. (and thank you very much, sincerely, if you do go ahead and buy a copy).
     
  15. mrpaige

    mrpaige Contributing Member

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    Miss you, too.
     
  16. Yonkers

    Yonkers Contributing Member

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    Already did by the time I wrote that. My son reads on my Kindle all the time so I'll let him read it. I assume it's kid friendly?
    And I was kidding about the 8 cents. I had no idea what the split was. Do you get more for the print edition? And how do they decide Kindle pricing? You would think it's cheaper (in your case it is) but a lot of books there is no difference.
     
  17. mrpaige

    mrpaige Contributing Member

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    I was thinking the book is probably for the 11-15 year-old crowd. There's a couple of not-too-bad words in there and a couple of tame references to unwanted erections (since that's something that eighth grade boys deal with). I have not been a good parent, though, so I may be the wrong person to ask.

    I was actually able to set whatever price I wanted on the Kindle edition of the book. Well, any price between 99 cents and $9.99, anyway. For prices between $2.99 and $9.99, Amazon pays a 70% royalty. Between 99 cents and $2.98, they pay a 35% royalty. Because Amazon and Apple and everybody went to an agency pricing model for ebooks, the publishers set the price that these stores charge. I assume a lot of publishers just don't want to cannibalize their print sales by offering the ebook at a lower price even though their cost-per-unit is presumably significantly lower for ebooks.

    The paperback price I don't really control. And how much I make per copy is dependent on where the copy is sold. From some outlets, I get 10 cents a copy. Through Amazon, I get $1.90.
     

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