I read recently that Pat Robertson called childless married couples "foolish and selfish" for not having children. I've read a lot of places too where people say that, surprisingly, married couples who choose not to have kids will be OK without kids - they won't miss them, essentially. I'm just wondering what other people think about it. My wife and I aren't planning on having kids and I always find the questioning by people "why don't you have kids?" and the sometimes frustration "what, don't you LIKE kids?" a little odd. I think kids are great. I have the utmost respect for parents. It is the toughest and most important job EVER. I'm just wondering if anyone else thinks it is odd to choose not to have children. ------------------ Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Children are a major life change. I'm glad I am going through it, but I wouldn't dare say going childless is foolish or selfish. If it wasn't for my wife, I'd probably be childless myself...doh...you know what I mean. ------------------
I think it's ridiculous to say marriage is only for having children. I mean, perhaps if there is a religious conviction, it's not ridiculous...but it sure seems suspect to me. Marriage is amazing...it's incredible to share your ups and downs with someone throughout your life. Being a father is equally amazing...my son's smile is easily my favorite thing in the world right now. But if you don't want kids, quite frankly, I hope you don't choose to have them just to meet some social expectation. If your heart is not in it, I wouldn't recommmend it. ------------------
I would love to have children some day. But, I don't see how you could find fault with someone for choosing not to. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I would push for the opposite viewpoint -- if people aren't prepared to have children, or don't want children of their own, they shouldn't have them. It seems like every time I hear a quote from Pat Roberson, it's stupid. IMHO - he's at the bottom of my list of people who should be lecturing others on morality and family values anyway. ------------------ Stay Cool...
Jeff, As you know, I lean a little more to the right than you. In my family though, I'm somewhat of a black sheep. My family is quite religious (Catholic), and they believe that married couples should have children. I came quite close to refusing to get married in the Catholic church because one of the things the priest asks you during the ceremony is: "Will you willingly accept children into your marriage...." Anyway, I think it's horrible the burden society puts on couples to have children. It IS the toughest and most important job EVER, and our society instills the belief that in everyone that "it's just something you do....no questions asked." I'm especially peeved that my church promotes this kind of behavior. It's just another one of their acts of irresponsibility. My wife and I are choosing not to have children, and we've put up with our share of raised eyebrows. Oh well....such is life. ------------------ stop posting my damn signature
BTW I'm so damn lucky! We do have ups and downs, but I waited around 'till I was 33, and I landed an awesome wife and marriage is kick-ass! ------------------ stop posting my damn signature
A lot of the religious aspect of procreation comes from the Bible quote "Be fruitful and multiply". I think that folks miss out on a lot by not having children, but I certainly respect their decision. Pole - May I ask why you stay with a church that promotes "irresponsible behavior" (in your eyes)? ------------------
I don't know who this Pat Robertson is but that has to be the most idiotic garbage I have ever heard in my life. Foolish and selfish? Why? We live in a crazy world. Trust me there are plenty of foolish and self married couples who have kids. I don't think it's odd at all. Having kids doesn't make you better then anyone else, or less selfish. Having kids is just something special. ------------------ Dream a deadly Dream. . . [This message has been edited by RocksMillenium (edited February 01, 2001).]
I don't believe anyone is 'foolish and selfish' for not having children, but I can definitely see why someone would say that. I think good people like you and your wife, Jeff, would do the world a great service by having kids. It most likely would improve the world by bringing in another high-quality person that (hopefully) shared the values you were trying to teach. Now, by not having kids, you're technically passing up a chance to make the world a better place. Then again there are many things that people choose not to do that would've made the world a better place as well. There are also people out there that are doing everyone a service by NOT having kids. You and your wife do not fall into that category. So in my opinion, Jeff, you would be doing all of us a great service by having kids. I don't think you're selfish for not wanting to, though.
I agree...there is not a darn thing wrong with not wanting to have children. You have children and you take on a major responsibility. You no longer have it like you had it before. Things change. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's just not for everybody nor should it be dictated by Pat Robertson or anyone else what you should do just because you are married. It is stupid for people to tell other people what they should be doing. Mind your own business, Pat and priest. I think too many of the wrong people are having children these days. They can't take care of them so the kids rebel and end up in jail or worse. The world is already overpopulated. There will come a day when there won't be the freedom to make such a decision as whether to have children or not. The Earth is taking a beating and is only getting worse. Soon, most of the rain forests will be gone, smog will rule the day, the greenhouse effect will have us carrying around oxygen, the sun's rays will be causing more skin cancer than ever before, people will be unable to spend long periods outside without incurring significant health risks, crops will die, food will be scarcer, we will all live in a dome, and it will be anarchy. On another note, you may want to have kids while you still can before the government puts out restrictions . They may go to a supreme gene pool and biological test tube babies. Ask that Dr. dude in the wheelchair....he'll tell you all about it . Surf ------------------
good parents do not necessarily produce a good kid and bad parents do not necessarily produce a bad kid. ------------------
I've never felt that marriage is just for having kids. It is a sacred bond of everlasting love between two adults. If the couple has kids, fine. If they don't, that's fine also. Pat Robertson needs to pull his head out. His brain is severely lacking oxygen. ------------------ "Blues is a Healer" --John Lee Hooker
Bobrek--to answer your question....I've stayed with the church for the same reason I choose to stay in a country that seems to collectively think that a favorable economy must have meant that Clinton was a good president......I've done a little looking around, but so far, I haven't found anything better. ------------------ stop posting my damn signature
Quite right outlaw.. BUT............. Two people who are good people and care enough to raise a child to respect others and the guidelines of being a productive member of society have a statistically better chance of raising a good child. it is assinine to try to tell anyone that it is "foolish" to not have kids. that is a decision that should be between the two people that it directly concerns, no one else should have sh*t to say about it. with that being said...I really do enjoy being married (found a good one) and all the responsiblities that come with it..(including kids) if you should ever decide to Jeff..It will enrichen your life.I highly recommend it. btw..<font size="1">I did say recommend</font> ------------------ no sig here [This message has been edited by Rockets2K (edited February 01, 2001).]
I'm pretty conservative in my opinions for the most part, but I've always thought this "need" to bear children strange. I've seen really bright people blow their future because they thought getting married and having kids at 20-22 years old was a great thing to do. I'm not saying it's wrong, it's not, but mature a little. Let's face it, most of us guys don't mature until we're... uh... well... dead. Ok, nevermind... I don't know if I'll ever get married (not while I'm always on this damn BBS anyway). I don't have any urges to have kids or anything either. I've always wanted to help people that are underprivileged and are here now before wanting to bring more into the world. But thaz just me... ------------------ "No Brain Grant, no trade." -- Typos are a b**** as ZRB is holding Rocket trades hostage while he seeks a brain. Conspiracy theorists say this would explain why Hakeem has yet to be traded... [This message has been edited by Dr of Dunk (edited February 01, 2001).]
Thanks for the responses everyone. Freak: That is very nice of you. My and my wife's choice has as much to do with our desire to better ourselves as it does to have a child. Both of us come from childhood situations that were less than stellar and both of us find ourselves repeating some of our parents' behavior. There is no reason to believe we will or won't have children at this point. For us, it is extremely important that we are able to work through some of our more personal issues before bringing a child into that craziness. As kids, we had to deal with enough craziness. We wouldn't wish that on any child. ------------------ Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Jeff, Ya'll make the decision that's right for ya'll, and hey, that's right for ya'll. No one else can make that determination. We are expecting our first in March. I'll tell you how it goes! ------------------ Cohen
Pat Robertson? Please..... this is the guy who (used to?) host the 700 Club. A religious TV show. People, just sit back and get ready for FOUR years of this type of mess. rH ------------------ a.k.a. in CC.net game time chat- rocketHEAD cause someone stole my nick on irc.webmaster The Psychedelic Groove House of Rockets Basketball Love! Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. ---Chinese Proverb [This message has been edited by rockHEAD (edited February 01, 2001).]
And see, I went and became a father before doing the marriage thing. So, marriage wasn't really required for us to have kids, either (we did have another child during our marriage, though). There are some folks who just don't want to be parents (along with people who simply can't have children, but that's not really what we're talking about here), and there is nothing wrong with that. Personally, I couldn't imagine not having become a parent (I always knew I wanted to have kids, we just started a little early, but that worked out great for us). I assume that a couple can have a full life without becomming parents. It's not the life that I would've wanted, but everybody is different. I would call one life decision any more selfish than the other. ------------------ Houston Sports Board The Anti-Bud Adams Page
