Internet dating horror stories

I don't have any, but someone on another board I visit posted this dandy of a story:


In the spirit of "I'll try anything once" and knowing how common it was for people to meet on Craigslist in San Francisco, I answered a Casual Encounters ad when I lived in New York that read something like "European woman, in town for one more day, wants a tall man to come over for NSA affair in Chelsea." Since I was living in Chelsea at the time, and had nothing going on really in my love life, I guess it seemed like a good idea? In retrospect, I can hardly imagine why I would have done this, but I steeled my nerves and went for it.

Woke up the next day and forgot all about it. I went to practice, went to a job interview, cruised around town trying to fix my cell phone...I even met a nice girl who gave me her phone number, then eventually ended up back at the apartment around 8pm.

Of course, there were a bunch of emails waiting for me with photos and a phone number. I looked at the photos-- she seemed cute, a bit older, I thought, looked like she had probably had children. Still, somewhere, the idea of meeting somebody random and knowing she wanted to meet me made me totally want to go through with it. The emails themselves were totally unintelligible, in weird broken English, in all-caps, totally weird. I emailed her back asking her what she wanted to do and tried to get a sense of whether this was safe, no drugs or std's or weirdos or anything, and she sent something immediately that looked like this:

"MEET NOW? ALL SAFE AND HEALTHY, WE USE ONLY PROTECTION. YOU R CUTE AND HANDSOME, I AM LEAVE TOMOROW. CIAO, MONA"


I decided to give her a call, my heartbeat quickening. Her accent was unplaceable-- almost Spanish, but not quite-- she said that she was from Italy, but it definitely was *not* an Italian accent. She asked me what I was doing that night, which I had not thought about, and I said I had to go to Whole Foods, but not much more. She said that the apartment that her friend let her stay in was right near there, 2 blocks away. Her voice was sort of deep, too, which was unnerving to me, slightly.

As I was leaving the apartment, I told her that I'd give her a call after the grocery store, and she suddenly said, "No, you must come now!" Inside, my warning flags were waving like the arms of a runway traffic guide about to witness a crash landing. Why the sudden imploring need? Why is she lying about where she is from?? Still, I kept going...down Seventh Ave... and I told her I would be there in 10 minutes. She said "OK, baby, I leave the door unlocked and you come in to the apartment. Do not tell the doorman to ring me, just come upstairs." I told her that was OK and we hung up.

I was more than jittery and it was freezing outside. She texted me that she was a bit scared about what I would think of her in person and that she would be under a blanket. I called her and there was no answer. I left a message saying something like "I hope that you are being honest with me about everything, or this is not going to work. Call me or I won't show up." I waited out on the corner in the cold for a long time. She texted again, "Honest". I went to the door and walked up the stairs.

The building was rundown and disgusting, piles of rat poison in the halls, broken tiling, holes in the walls, stairs that were almost rotten to the point of caving in. There was a smell of decay, as though someone had died there recently. I heard shouts coming from an apartment as I went down her hallway.

I saw the door marked 2F and hesitated for a second before pushing it open. The apartment was completely dark, I could see nothing through the small crack in the door. I pushed it open, and, using the light from the outside to see a bit of the place. All I could see was a rumple of clothes or something behind the door, and a couch or two to the left.


I called out to her, "Mona? Hello??". Then a hand reached out from under the pile of cloth and touched my foot. I jumped back and was heading for the door. A muffled voice, much deeper than the one I had heard on the phone, said "Wait! Come to me!" and pulled on my pant leg.

The mass of blankets moved closer and the hands, those awful hands, which had long press on nails and looked, upon closer inspection, not at all like the hands of a female, crept up my leg and went for the package. "I want to have it", the s/he said, and tried to unzip me. S/he had her nails under my shirt and clawing to try to get inside my underwear, almost ripping my skin, and the blankets covered all the rest of his/her body except a mouth that looked very, um, *hungry*.

I don't know why it took me even that long, but suddenly I came to my grips and realized what was happening, pulling away and heading for the door. I ran like hell past the doorman, wondering how many other unlucky fellows he had witnessed in this very same situation. I have stayed away from Craigslist ever since.


Now share yours

 

Nah, I know the guy. It's very true.

I have an even better story from someone else once one of you ponies up.

 

okay, but this one mayget me in trouble. I'll try to edit it for content a little, but

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED

ok. this is a few years ago. i was 25 or 26. she replies to my nerve ad. she's 35, but has cute pics and seems chill and funny, and i'm kind of into the idea of the older woman so what the hell. plus it turns out that she lives pretty close to me in brooklyn, which is cool.

we go out for tea (her idea). she turns out to be really attractive, but very new-agey (which i'm not into) and really kind of soft-spoken and shy (which again, i'm not really into). overall, she's interesting though, has an interesting job and has some cool tattoos and stuff, and we have a really nice time talking about weird stuff.

it was quite a different thing for me, as my typical night out is getting drunk at some show or whatever. we part ways that night with a little kiss and i didn't think she'd want to see me again, as i probably seemed loud and obnoxious and young, but she emails me and wants to hang out again.

a few days later, we go out again for non-alcoholic drinks and chat for a while and then go to her apartment, which is this huge and beautiful loft in carroll gardens. we start making out and predictably, she's very shy about it. she didn't even want to take off her shirt at first.

so things continue to progress and she asks if she can give me a **- i say sure, and she starts to go to work. she seemed to be getting into it and starts to stick a finger up my ***. i was like.. ok.. and went with it. a minute later, she stops and the shyness disappeared as she pulls out some KY and puts it on her finger and goes back to the **. she's getting really into it now and is sticking a second finger in, and starts kind of pulling them in and out in rhythm with her mouth and then i feel her going for a third.

i make some noise, as if to imply that i wasn't comfortable with it. she looks up at me, picks up the KY again and says something like "i want my fist in you".

i tell her i'm not really feeling that at this moment. she asks again and says she'll be really gentle, but i said no. then she seemed to get kind of upset/angry about it all and started speaking louder and stuff. it was pretty of jekyll/hyde. feeling things were getting pretty strange, i did my best to kind of steer our actions in another direction and then got out of there as fast as i could.


This guy I do NOT know.