A co-worker of mine recently lost his mother in a car accident. He's been having a tough time with it, but admitted to me last night that his father is really struggling. His mom and dad were married for 23 years and his dad depended on his mom a lot. He went on to say something to me that really got me thinking. He said that he wasn't sure if his father would ever recover from losing his wife, but that if the roles were reversed and his father had died that his mother was the type of woman who would be able to survive and life her life accordingly under the new circumstances. I started thinking of my own situation. I feel like I'm lucky to have both of my parents still living. If someone were to ask me which of the two would be able to cope better with the other's death that would be a difficult question to answer. Ultimately I think my mother would deal with my father's death easier than my father with my mother's death. My mom is a strong woman and has lived her life for her kids and grandchildren. She's dealt with the death of two of her sisters within the last ten years and came through okay. She had a rougher childhood than my dad and is stronger for it. My father is a strong man as well, but I honestly think he'd be lost without my mother by his side. Which of your parents would cope better with the other's death?
i think they both would struggle. i've been married almost 12 years now....i imagine she'd survive a lot easier without me than I would without her.
my siblings and i have discussed this and we feel that our father could probably manage better, but neither would manage very well. it'd be one of those things where we'd be afraid of losing one close after the other. i hate thinking about these things...i get to see my parents tonight, so i'm going to give them extra big hugs.
same as you.. my mom would work it out and be ok. My dad I think would have a harder time (though I still think he'd be fine in the end, esp. with family and friends being around)
no_answer's your mom reply in 5... 4... 3... That's a tough one. I don't know. I know one may have some reasons, but the other one will, too. I guess it's a toss-up? I don't want to think about that stuff right now... interesting topic, though. But, seriously, be there for your friend, sir, whether he asks for it or doesn't.
definitely my dad would have a much harder time dealing if my mom died because he depends on her a lot too...my mom is a strong person so she would be okay if my dad died...she has A LOT of her sisters and brothers living in Houston. My dad doesn't have that many relatives living here in Texas...only a brother and cousin. Rest of his relatives are in Mexico so I don't even know how he's going to deal with it if my mom passed away first. Most likely, my dad and sister would come and live with me. I don't want my dad to be alone. This is heartbreaking to just think about it. No, I'm not gonna cry here at work.
My mom handled my fathers death fine...I was a young boy at the time and never really knew him. I would have a harder time handleing it. My wife is much stronger than I. I would just finish raising the kids and disappear.
My parents are not together anymore so I don't think either would have trouble. I'm not married but I think she would have a lot harder time without me than vice versa. Now my maternal grandparents are a different story. He passed a few years ago from liver cancer and my grandmother, although sad, has made it well on her own and I didn't expect anything different. Had it been the other way around I am almost certain he would have trouble adjusting to life without her.
Nobody asked how YOU would do, joto. Besides, you wouldn't be able to disappear by making just a few pesos at the border selling Chiclets.
My mom dealt with both her parents dying in a car accident when she was 13, being raised by her alcoholic grandmother, a failed marriage, hearing that her sister was stabbed to death, and currently being married to a man who has serious issues with fear, paranoia, hypochondria, and rage. I've heard her say before that she will be able to enjoy life a bit more freely when my father passes. My father, OTOH, has said he would have to be locked in a mental hospital if she ever left him. I wonder who will be able to cope better? I hope they live for many, many more years, but, and I feel bad for saying it, I sincerely hope my mom outlives him.
same response for me. it scares me b/c in march, my last grandparent left (she was 90) and i know next will be my parent's generation. i try not to think about this grim stuff but it makes me appreciate them too.
my parents have been married for 44 years now...my dad depends on my mom a lot (groceries, cooking, paying bills, etc. etc.), but my mom is a pretty emotional gal. i imagine when one goes, the other would follow pretty soon...but they could surprise me.
Honestly, it depends on the support system that is around that will influence making it out of a horrible situation. I lost my dad 7 years ago, and my mom took it pretty hard, but she prevailed in the end. I think that had to do with the fact that she had me and my brother around, as well as her other 7 sisters and their families helping her out in various ways. Another friend of mine lost her dad also, and her mom had a great support system around, cause she had alot of sons and daughters and grandchildren that were there for her in her time of need. I think either way itll be tough, but you can get through it with a great support system built in.
Nah. Too late. I already left your house. Yes, I did your lawn, too. Don't worry, you don't have to pay me anymores! <hr> Now to think if YOU could survive had both your parents passed at the time you were an ADULT. How about that?
Well my parents are married, but My dad was locked up for about 10 years and my mom did just fine raising me by herself so I think my mom would be able to handle it better. They both would have an hard time handling it though.
My father keeps his emotions very close to his vest, so I'm not sure how he'd handle things. On the other hand, my mother has come right out and said she'd go nuts if my dad died. Other than the obvious emotional issues, she would also have to deal with all the finances and family records, which my dad has always handled. So I'm going to assume my dad would handle it better.
When my grandmother died, my grandfather took it very hard. He always thought he'd die first. His health detiorated after her death and he died a couple years later. My father would take it worse. He's very independent, but he takes death poorly. I've seen him when he lost his mother and his brother and he brushes it off as though it was nothing, just a hard fact of life to put up with. He doesn't grieve in a healthy way. Before we had children, I don't think either my wife or I would take a death well. So much of our identities are wound up with each other. With children, ti'd be easier because there's a lot of work to do taking care of them. I'd probably fare better in that situation, I would think. But, if I lost wife and kids, I really would have no reason to exist (besides the BBS, of course).
