LOL. So I did the courthouse marriage/pawn shop wedding ring debacle when I was 18 (precisely 12 years ago). For some dumb reason she stayed with me. Anyway, we have been together 16 years now so we finally got around to making our "ceremony" plans for an actual, bonifide lakeside wedding. (sorry, wafflehouse was booked). here is the dilemma......... I have really lost touch with my younger brother, between his job/my job and losing my other brother in Iraq, we just don't mesh like we used to. I hate to say it, but we aren't even really "friends" anymore. Whenever we are in Houston at the same time, (which is rare) we don't even try to catch up or hang. Last time I saw him was Thanksgiving 2008. All the while, my really good friend from my high school days always seems to be around and I feel like I am alot closer to him these past 5-6 years. The thing thats buggin me about all this is I know my friend knows this ceremony is coming up, he has brought it up a few times out of the blue and I'm getting the feeling that he is expecting me to ask him to be the best man.......I feel like I have an obligation towards my younger brother, but I also kinda think it would be fake......like I would be forced to ask him because of the family ties. I would like for my boy to be my best man but I would feel like I'm cutting my brother a lil short here......BTW I was both my brother's best man and my friends best man at their respective weddings...added guilt. maybe a lil outside prespective could help me here.
Nah, this best man decision isn't where you're cutting your brother short. You're doing that by maintaining such a poor relationship with him to begin with. What's more important to you? Friends or family? Chances are your brother would understand if you choose your friend to be your best man. A decision like this shouldn't be able to impact blood. However, your friend may not understand your choosing your brother. Friendship runs a little more shallow than family. Now, let's see if you can pick up the answer I gave you. Get your family in order and things like this won't be an issue.
Just went to a wedding where the grooms only brother was not the best man and they are quite good friends. He chose his actual best buddy since high school and no one seemed to care.
On the other hand, you could use this occasion to mend relations with your brother. It sounds to me like there is some pain behind things falling apart with him. Use this joyous occasion to bring the two of you closer together. Explain this to your friend and ask him to be a groomsman. Any true friend should understand. Because, afterall, this day is not about him.
Haha, that's not a bad idea! It's your wedding so you do what is best for you. I have the same dilemma. I don't know who to ask for my maid of honor but I have at least a year or so to go to worry about it. Meanwhile, I'll try to strengthen my relationship with my only sister. We don't have the best relationship. We are 7 years apart. I guess, just do what you feel is right in your heart. You could have two best men. There is nothing wrong with that.
Trust me, neither of them wants to pay for the tux. For real though, just see which ones is the best kisser and pick him.
I think you’re worrying too much. Truth is, most guys really don’t care about this kind of stuff. It’s the women who go all bridezilla about it. Really, the guy’s job is just to show up and shut up. Why don’t you just ask your brother and just explain your situation to your buddy. I think he would understand. Hell, if your buddy is like most of us guy-types, he really won’t give a crap if he’s best man or not, as long as he gets to come to the wedding and drink the free booze.
you choose your friends, you're born with family or you can use this to start building a relationship with your bro if that's what you want, your friend will understand, that's why he is your friend.
I made my best friend my best man. I had been friends with him most of my life, and I always thought of best man being your best friend. I asked my brother to be a groomsman. I don't think he was offended at all. You know there is a Scrubs episode about this same thing?
