I Think the World Is Coming to an End...I Have Got a Date!

I did not say that although I must admit I was tempted.

Good luck Saturday. I recommend taking a couple shots of vodka before picking her up.

 

Have fun, Manny! Try to put aside your preconceived notions of her and just get to know her.

Good luck!

 

congrats Manny! good luck and remember, to keep the conversation safe and not to offend her, just ask her what her favorite 'X' is: x={music, tv show, artist, movie, etc.}

seriously, good luck!

 

Remember to jerk it right before going out...just make sure none of it gets in her hair...

 

Man, I wish one of my highschool teachers would take the inititive and hook me up. Anyway, good luck dude, I'm sure things will turn out okay.

 

Good luck, but if it doesn't work...

try match.com

I'm telling you it works. I'm dating a school teacher I met on there and she's pretty damn cool. Teachers are great. They make you do it over and over again until you get it right

 

Well, Manny.......at least you know ahead of time you are not getting laid. So you can really work on getting to know her.

KIDDING.

Have fun, and be safe. Don't say anything blasphemous.

 

By the way, I am the woman you are set up with. I post here under the name CBFC. And I can not believe you would blab about our date this weekend.

To make it up to me, you need to do the following:

1. Bring me roses.
2. Show up having applied 2 tablespoons of Old Spice Brand aftershave to your body.
3. Refer to me as either "coach" or "sporto" throughout the evening.
4. Tell one story in which you do not let the other three of us speak for forty-five (45) minutes.
5. Yell out "Yatzhee!" when the waiter beings us our food.
6. Do not mention this message.

Looking forward to it!
Sincerely,
the woman

 

First of all Manny, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Religious Chick. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Manny. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

 

There's always Russian mail order brides if this doesn't work out.

Petrokva and Manny.....then you'll really need the vodka.

 

like A-train said...make sure to flog the dolphin...

 

Dude, we were long overdue for a <I>Fast Times</I> reference.

Good job.

 

I was hoping you guys would still get it with me editing a few names...

 

Manny, ask her if she likes "Radiohead" or "Coldplay," and if she responds "ewww, no, Rob Thomas and matchbox twenty are 50 times better than both of those bands put together," you'll know you have a keeper!

 

We went to see a movie (The Ring -- which I found disturbing on *many* levels) and had very bad conversation. She was all stressed that her med-school applications weren't going to arrive on time, and frankly I was sick of listening to her worrying about it. The night ended with an argument over the light rail construction. She was making baseless claims about how it was the most effective way to improve traffic congestion in Houston, and I told her that it was uneconomical, has completely torn up local roads, didn't address the biggest need areas, and that I would never step foot on it. I don't think it will work out between us. She also pulled some crap about how she had to wake up early the next morning to go to the DPS for a new driver's license. Needless to say, I was outraged. I mean please, she calls ME, then pulls some lame excuse like that? Give me a break. I don't have to put up with that type of nonsense.

CASE CLOSED

 

Aaaaaa!!! Manny has a date!! It's the Rapture! Run!!

So she's religious, eh? Here's some random Christian info you just might need (as told by a Jew):

1) The seven children on 7th Heaven are Matt, Mary, Lucy, Simon, Ruthie, and the twins (Sam and David). Lest we forget, there's also non-Camdens Robbie and Kevin, who now live in the house, too. Oh, yeah, and Matt married a Jew.
2) DC Talk kicks ass. Just hum "Jesus Freak" under your breath, and I'm sure she'll pick up on it. Anything by Jars of Clay and (to a lesser extent) Creed would also work. Yes, Creed will work juuuuuuuuust fine...
3) The Jews did NOT kill Jesus. It's a vicious rumor and outright lie. Sure, we were mad at him, but hey, we don't kill our own. (However, we DO hook up other Jews with fabulous wholesale discount prices on clothes, jewelry, and automobiles.)
4) The kneel-thingy in a church pew is NOT for your feet. I learned this the hard way when attending my best friend's confirmation (having never gone to a church service before). That sort of thing is frowned upon from what I hear.
5) Christian girls are affectionately referred to as "goys." Jewish girls are "shiksas." Therefore, call your date a "goy" as much as humanly possible throughout the evening.
6) Christian girls despise the University of Miami. If asked, you went to Notre Dame (and "Rudy" is your favorite movie of all-time).
7) The metric system is the tool of the devil.

(7 pieces of advice. 7 deadly sins. Hmmmmm. Coincidence?)


If my info fails you... for the love of God, just be yourself, and I'm sure everything will work out.

 

Manny...buddy....relax. Don't worry about it. You're gonna go have a nice dinner with people you know and a woman you don't know. Not a biggie. Just be yourself. If it works out it works out.

I wouldn't try to bed her until the third date though...just to be sure.