This past week has been extremely busy for me at work plus I just started 2 classes this week at night. I need the BBS's help on this one. A woman that I work with in the other building recently came back from one of our other offices. I had met her and introduced myself to her last January. Unfortunately, we never could get anything going because I didn't know when she was going back to her regular office that she works in. Well, she is back. I had emailed her last week about going to lunch this past Wednesday. She emailed me back the next day that she would love to go. We set up the day and place and other than seeing her Friday, when I went to talk to someone else, I didn't talk to her. Wednesday comes and I send her a quick email telling her when I'm going to pick her up and that I would meet her. She emails me back, okaying it, and tells me that she is really looking forward to it! So, I picked her up and she looked great. She is easily the best-looking woman or girl that I have gone out with. We were able to talk about all kinds of different things and I felt comfortable around here which is unusual for me when I'm around a woman that I'm attracted to. We left and I drove her back to the office. I didn't want to seem overanxious plus I got nervous, so I left things open with her by saying, "we will need to do this again sometime." My plan was to give it a day or two and then talk to her possibly asking for her phone number. I felt that she really liked me because she smiled a lot and held eye contact with me for long periods of time. Figuring that our lunch date was such a success, I decided to go ahead and ask her for a real date. I would do this by asking for her home phone number. Yesterday was not a good day and as I was leaving around 6:30 last night, I sent her an email telling her how much I enjoyed the lunch date. I, then, asked her for her home phone number. Well, I got to thinking that I might be moving too fast or coming across as being too forward, so I panicked. About 9:00 last night, I attempted to retrieve the email that I sent her hoping that she hadn't read it yet. When I got here this morning, I found out through our email admin that she had opened the email before I tried to retrieve it. I later went over to talk to another girl about this project I'm working on, and after I got done I talked to her. Unfortunately, another girl was around and I couldn't talk to her about the botched retrieving email fiasco. I did tell her that I wanted to talk to her back in her cubicle, and she told me that she would have to come and see me. Well, that was 5 hours ago. Her computer is messed up, and I have not received any emails from her. She also did not talk about me asking for her phone number or trying to retrieve that message. I feel that I could do a good job in recovering if she brings it up, but I'm still waiting to hear back from her. I just want to take her to lunch again next week. So, two questions: 1) How long do I wait for her to get back with me? If I don't hear back by Monday should I call her at her extension? 2) I take it that not discussing the email fiasco would be for the best, but will this situation be one that is going to destroy any chances with her for the future? I really like this woman a lot. However, I'm worried that through my stupid actions and insecurities, I have already blown it. I wish that there were more women on this BBS, so they could tell me, but I'll have to make do with what is available. I appreciate any thoughts on this situation.
dude in that last email you sent her, did you just ask for her number? You didn't write anything really embarassing, like "You have nice funbags." did you? If not I don't really see any big deal with it. Why panic? Is she able to know that you tried to retrieve it? If so, just tell her the truth(if it comes up), tell that you thought that you wanted her number but that you thought you were being a lil too forward. then tell her she has nice funbags.
Calm down, player. Go hoop or something after work. Unless she's a ho, she'll call you back. You can even call her whenever...just chill out first. Once your nerves are down and your mind is clear, whatever decisions you make should be okay.
I'd say relax as well. If you like, I can ask my wife to read this post and give you a female opinion. The woman doesn't read this BBS by any chance does she? A lurker perhaps?
I got $20 bucks that says Manny doesn't get a fourth date....haha Just joking, RELAX!! Damn...the thing that girls like the most about guys is when they feel comfortable with them!! Now if your all worried about everything, than she will be uptight too. Just chill out...she'll call...and if she doesn't in a few days, just call her back...don't make it seem that you nothing else to do!
sounds like a Seinfeld episode... maybe the one where George leaves a message on an answering machine and tries to retrieve the answering machine tape??
Agreed! Be a fool! So WHAT!?!?!? OH, you like women?! SHAME ON YOU!! Just take it easy and be a nice guy...ok, horny, but nice! Women love for men to trip over them! Sounds good so far to me!
Once you settle down and you go out on a couple of dates, tell her the story that you just told us and how worried you were about something almost silly. She'll love it that you are that sensitive about things. Good luck.
Thanks for all the feedback, so far. Believe it or not, it helped relax me (well except for DoD's post). Unfortunately, our phones have been out and I just got out of a meeting. Her computer might have still been messed up as well. So, I have not heard back from her. That's okay, though. I will give it time, and if I don't hear anything by Monday afternoon, I will try to talk to her again on Tuesday. I keep thinking that what I did was no big deal, but I also can't help but think that if she really liked me that she would have gotten back with me. The head of our IT department put it best: When you are interested in a woman, it's like the woman is turned off when you show that interest. So, LOL, how are you supposed to ask for things like her number. BTW - Her number was the only thing that I asked for.
If I hooked up with a Sheila who I worked with, then you would find me a lot in the copy room and any vacant meeting rooms. Better yet....one of those handicap bathrooms for one person only. One thing's for sure...I won't be at my desk. Maybe under it . My productivity would be way down. Probably get fired. LOL
You are too tense...but I don't really know what advice to give you to overcome that...just try to act naturally and be a bit more easy-going...don't think about every little step and then question it again afterwards, just be yourself (hmm...not so sure if that is good advice in your particular case ). You don't have her, so there is nothing you can lose. You can only win by trying.
I would suggest waiting a little while before disclosing the little fiasco. It might be worth a laugh at your expense later (all you can do is smile and take it gracefully), but it isn't going to make the difference with this women. So I agree with others to relax, but don't forget to show some interest and don't wait too long before you call or stop by, and ask for the next date with your voice and even better in person. A week since your last semi-date is too long (I assume this women isn't strait out of HS where the standoffishing game is the one to play here). I would think half that (3 days?) seems about right but I am married and haven't been dating for around 8 years now so things may be different now. Oh, and if she out of the blue says why did you try to retrieve your message and ended up messing up her computer FIRST THING TOMARROW, say you are very sorry but really decided asking her out in person was the way you really wanted to do it. If it comes down like this then you will just have to really back off (but not 100%, still be nice and cordial) for a while until she gives you signals otherwise . Keep us updated.
I think that I'm going to use this approach: I'm going to wait and see if I hear back from her. If I don't hear from her by Tuesday morning, then I was going to call her at her extension and ask her real casual-like if she wants to go to lunch with me. Normally, I wouldn't ask a woman to go do something with me that day, but I want her to feel that going to lunch with me is not a big, momentous occasion. She may tell me that she brought her lunch or that she has other plans which I then would ask for the next day. If she can't go that day either, I will then ask her this: "Did you get an email from me Thursday night?" Of course, she'll say yes she did and then I'll explain to her that I realized after I sent it that it was impersonal for me to ask that and I should have asked it in person. Explaining it like this, I think, would be the best way. Hopefully, it will put her mind at ease and she won't feel like I'm some weirdo. Of course, it would be great if I hear from her before Tuesday, but if not, I will get back in touch with her. I thought at first trying to wait a lot longer, but I don't think that would be a great idea. BTW - My trying to retrieve that message didn't mess up her computer. It was something like a network problem that messed it up. Anyway, keep your fingers crossed that I can get through this fiasco because she is really, IMO, a catch.
Pepper up your conversation with some ethnic jokes, your ability to name both guitarists in Judas Priest, and your brilliance at Tecmo Bowl. If that doesn't work, mention Super Tecmo Bowl. I just got back from a shindig myself, and I'm heading to the bar right now to try out my own advice.
G'luck Manny. Keep us (or at least me) updated (not too much though; what if she starts lurking here? Hope you're not posting under your real name ) Seriously, I side with majority opinion that you're fine, and just relax. Your 'plan of action' sounds good, but don't get all worked up over the details (easier said than done, of course). You can do it. You're obviously a likable guy. Just be yourself and don't be too self-conscious. (Sorry for all the cliche advice, but hey, it's true, isn't it?)
