I just found out I was cheated on.....

....and it freakin sucks! Well I didn't 'just' find out, I found out about midday yesterday and was drinking for the whole day to try to dull the pain. It didn't work. Let me tell you, I had no idea what people went through when this happened to them but now I know. I wouldn't wish this sort of pain on my worst enemy. Seriously. It's the freakin worst. Even Jazz fans don't deserve this. We were together 7 years 8 months. I will post what happened sometime later today.

 

Just be extremely grateful for what you and FB have. Because what y'all have is what I thought I had. Trust me, you have no idea how lucky you are.

 

I do but not right now. I'm still feeling the after effects of all that alco.

 

Well here's what happened. I apologize in advance because it might be kind of long. I might break it up into a couple of posts.

First, the background info. I'm from the Caribbean (Trinidad specifically hence the moniker) and I went to New York for about three weeks and came back two weeks ago. This is when it all went down. We've been together 7 years 8 months and I'm 23 now so we've been together since our secondary (high) school days. Basically, we are all each other knows.

Ok, so it started Tuesday night when I was watching the Nuggets-Rockets game. We had just come back from seeing Four Christmases and we were on the way to her house. I saw the game on and told her I wanted to watch it and we'd leave after. After a while she said she's going outside to talk to her (female) friend (call her Friend A). Now she knows Friend A from school but it's not someone she talks to like that. They basically just talk about school stuff so that and the fact that she wanted to go outside had me suspicious. And I don't get suspicious easily. I am very trusting because I don't see the point of trying to keep tabs on someone. If they want to do something they are going to do it. Anyway, so she talks on her phone for about a half hour then comes back inside and says, "Alright, (Friend A), we'll talk about that thing tomorrow." It just seemed very forced, like she was trying to reemphasize who she was talking to and that got me more suspicious. Then she sat on the couch texting for awhile. Again, more suspicions.

So I decided I would check her phone. Mind you, I'm feeling extremely guilty of even being suspicious of her doing anything but I just had a gut feeling. So that night I ended up falling asleep while waiting for her to fall asleep to check her phone. The next day I realized she is moving sneaky with her phone. She wasn't putting it down at all, had it on her at all times and she usually never has her phone with her when she's at home. So even more suspicions. That night she falls asleep I finally get the phone and I check to see if in fact she spoke to Friend A. I look at the received calls, nothing but I saw she spoke to a 'K' (that's what she saved the number as). Now she has a friend (Friend B) whose name starts with a K and who I could see her talking to like that. I check her inbox on her phone and I see she was texting this 'K' back and forth. So I thought nothing of it because I assumed it was Friend B.

Now I'm feeling really guilty for even thinking she would do anything. I lay there but I just can't shake the feeling. So I grab her phone and check her phonebook and saw a record for Friend B. So now I'm thinking who the hell is this 'K'. I go to her inbox again and this time I actually read through the texts. The first two nothing just a couple of "how u doin" type texts. Then I see one "I wanna kiss you now". I got pissed. I look through some more and it had another one that was extremely suggestive. I check her outbox for the messages she sent and there wasn't really anything compromising. Only one that said "it was nice talking to you tonight". I'm pissed because she didn't even say you're going too far or anything. She was basically encouraging it.

I woke her up to ask her about this. Btw, it was like 1:30 in the morning. I made sure she came to her senses and I showed her the phone. She watched me with a puzzled look. I asked if there's anything she wants to tell me and she says no. So I told her about the texts and she broke down and said it is her sister's. That her sister uses her phone to text some fella and she told her about leaving those texts on the phone. So I ask her how come this same 'K' also called you and spoke for a half hour the same time you were supposedly talking to Friend A. She says that it's another 'K' and proceeds to give me some name I never heard. Now I don't know all of her friends in school but I think that I would have at least heard of this person especially someone she was willing to spend so much time on the phone with. Now I know this is BS because the phone cannot take two records of the same entry. So I asked her why did she lie about calling Friend A and she said she did call her, that she made two calls. So I asked her to show me when she called Friend A and she did but the time didn't coincide with Tuesday night. Then she said that when you call a person twice back to back that the first entry deletes. More BS.

She then went and woke her sister up to confirm that it is her sister's texts. Her sister comes outside and said it's hers but she didn't say it very convincingly. And on top of that she called a guy's name but the name is someone who I know is my ex's friend. Up till this time we were referring to the person as 'K' so how ironic is it that someone who the sister is supposedly texting and interested in has the exact name as one of my ex's friends. So I knew now she was lying and my ex told her to say it was her texts.
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More to come (or is it too boring?)

 

Anyway, so I left her house and started walking like 2:00 in the morning to head home. Her sister called me and basically admitted that she was told to lie but give her another chance. She said that she (my ex) made a bad decision to lie about it and she told her (my ex) that everything starts with honesty yadda yadda...

She said that she called me on her own because 7 + years is a lot to throw away and was basically saying what I would expect her to say as a sister. But I was trying to explain to her that that is not something I was willing to take. It is something that I am very adamant about. So we went back and forth for about 45 mins with me venting and she trying to get me back with her sister. Then I said that two things I'm sure about is that someday I'll die and your sister and I are not getting back together. That shut her up for a bit because is then she realized how serious I was. But she continued anyway and said that people make mistakes and all that. Then I told her this isn't the first time it happened (more on that later). I understood what she was doing and saying but she just didn't know the whole story. The conversation ended with her basically saying to think about it and me saying it ain't happening.

I walked home (took about another hour) just to clear my head and stuff. I nearly got bitten by about 5 dogs along the way, nearly beat up one of them.
Now about the first time. About a year ago, she had this friend and they had gotten close. Basically she used to lie and say she's going to school to work on projects and study and whatnot but in fact was going to this dude's apartment. She said it happened like 3 times. The last time he tried to put his hand up her shirt and kissed her. She said she didn't kiss him back and basically left and she stop talking to him after that. I forgave her because I just thought she was being naive, that things like that can't happen to her. So that was the first time. Back to the main story.

So the next day she called and ask if she could come over and talk to me. I went ahead with it because I just wanted to hear definitively what she did. That was the only reason I said yes. She came over and immediately said that he told her he had feelings for her and complimenting her and stuff. And at first she was saying that it's wrong but stopped because she liked the compliments and it made her feel good. Now she has some self esteem issues and her sister and I both said that it's possible that she was just weak and wanted compliments. So when she said that she was just fishing for compliments and that nothing physical happened it made sense. She even said that she made sure not to put herself in a position for something to happen because of what happened last time.

She told me that it (the texting) only happened about twice. But that didn't sit right with me because if this was only the second time he said something like that I would think she would be a bit more taken aback. That's when she admitted that it happened more than twice and had been going on for like two months. So I caught her lying again. And then she dropped another doozy on me. The fella who was texting her now was the same fella who tried to feel her up. So now I'm really pissed because she knew what happened last time and still went ahead and started talking to him again. What made it worse is that she introduced me to him at a party and had me hanging out with him at the USA-T&T World Cup Qualifier. So I was high fiving the same dude who tried to get with my girl.

But after all that we talked and talked and she made it seem like it's because her insecurities why she was encouraging the compliments. And she thought a lot about everything and realized that she can't depend on people to make her feel good, she has to do that for herself. Basically, she said a lot of stuff that I've been trying to tell her for years. She seemed like she really thought about what happened alot and was sounding extremely mature more so than I've ever heard her. I thought that she would continue to get better about how she feels and since nothing physical happened I could forgive and forget. But I told her that we have to take things real slow and we might have to go on a break and all that. I even gave her "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" to get her to be more independent. Then she left and I felt it was possible for us to get back together.

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To be continued........