I just told this joke in my English III class. Crash and burn baby...crash and burn. I felt like this guy...
If you're serious, say the joke out loud. If you're not serious, please say the word "poop" several times out loud.
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it. "Tiny" replies the man. "Why's that?" asks the bartender. "Because he's my newt!" Q: What's an Eskimo's favorite song? A: Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!
A man goes up to a Marine and asks, "Do you know where President Clinton is?" The Marine answers, "No, sir, and Clinton is no longer President." The man says thanks and goes on his way. The next day, same man sees same Marine and asks, "Do you know where President Clinton is?" Once again, the Marine answers, "No, sir, and Clinton is no longer President." The man says thanks and goes on his way. The next day, the same man sees the same Marine and asks, "Do you know where President Clinton is?" The Marine, this time, recognizes the man and says, "Sir, I have told you the past 2 days that Clinton is no longer President, yet you keep asking me this question. Why?" The man says, "I just love hearing you say that he is no longer President!" The Marine then says, "What time will you be here tomorrow?"
A pirate walks into a bar with one of those large boat steering wheels jammed into his pants. It takes him a considerably long time to amble up to the bar stool and finally seat himself on it. He then orders a beer. "Did you know you have a ship steering wheel in your pants?" the bartender asks. The pirate replies, "Aye. It's driving me nuts."
Q: Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? A: The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts. Q: Who is the most popular girl? A: The one who can eat the last doughnut. _____________________________________________ A woman has some sort of weird glandular problem, and her doctor prescribes testosterone to fix it. After a few weeks of taking the drug, she becomes worried about some of the side effects, so she goes back to her doctor. "Doctor," she complains, "I have a couple things to tell you about some problems I have been experiencing with this treatment. For one, I've been growing hair in places I've never grown hair before." "Well, that's a normal side effect with testosterone, it being the male hormone that it is. Where is it that you're growing hair?" "My testicles," she replied, "Which is the other thing I was gonna tell you about."
Man goes to a psychiatrist and tells him, “I’ve been having these really weird dreams lately. Last night I dreamt I was a wigwam. Two nights ago I dreamt I was a tepee.” The psychiatrist says, “I know what your problem is! You’re too tense!” (too tense -> two tents, get it? )
A pony walks into a doctor's office, and the doctor asks him, "what seems to be the trouble?" The pony responds, "I'm a little hoarse."
