i don't have the energy to spill all the details in this single post. and if i did, i know i'd break down crying right here, right now, at work. but the woman i loved, and still love, decided - out of the blue - to leave me. we were together 4 months (which doesn't sound like long time i know), and i fell - for the first time in my life - completely in love. not infactuation, but love. every little thing about her. excuse me, but i'm starting to cry now.
Cheer up - on the bright side, you have made the 2nd best poster tournament!! So turn that frown upside-down mister! Seriously, that sucks dude. Just try to think of things that you enjoy doing that don't involve HER. Hang in there.
verse, been in that situation 3 times. Got lucky the 4th time and I married her. It's going to sting a bit, but you'll be ok. Hey, at least you can move on to more fish in the sea!
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I have had my favorite sandels for 6 years now.....if I ever parted with them I would also be heartbroken. Cheer up...there are too many women out there.....
Damn, my friend and his GF broke up in Sept and he was hurting for months. It all depends on you, Verse. With my friend, it was a break up that they both sort of agreed to. I don't know what happened to you, but you said she just left. That's harsh and I know you are feeling crappy wondering what you may have done wrong and all of that. Don't let that kind of thinking get to you.
ok managing to hold things together over here. at least until the office clears at 5, then i can let it go... had to go outside for a cigarette. that, for whatever reason, helped a little. like i said, we were together for 4 months of absolute bliss. there were bumps in the road, of course, but we worked through them together. most importantly, the lines of communication were not only always open, they were always buzzing with activity. all of a sudden, she avoids me for 3 straight days (starting this past friday). sunday i finally get her on the phone and she tells me she's in love with her ex boyfriend again. her ex from over a year ago. first guy she dated after her divorce. they didn't talk after they broke up, but he called on friday, and - according to her - he has his **** together now (they had a ****ty relationship full of heavy drug usage, etc.) and she "needs to see if her feelings for him are for real". she says she still loves me, and is sorry about breaking up with me over the phone, but needs to find this out - even if it means losing me. i'm not upset. hurt, yes. but not upset at. i guess it's an emotional "pass out". last night we talked in person for the first time since the decision. it was awkward. i know she still loves me. that's obvious. but she won't come back to me. i asked. later, before leaving, i passed out. hit the floor and split my eyebrow. felt - and feels - like someone is ripping my heart out and punching and twisting my stomach. i don't know how to maintain anymore. i don't know how to go on without her by my side. even now, if she would, i'd take her back. the thing is, i saw and still see all of her faults. all of them. and i love her just the same. i love her with her blemishes. i love her more than any person (short of my daughter) on this earth. as much as i thought i knew what it was to love someone, i was wrong. love is not loving "in spite of" faults. it's loving "with". ****************** I've been loving you too long to stop now There were time and you want to be free My love is growing stronger, as you become a habit to me Oh I've been loving you a little too long I dont wanna stop now, oh With you my life, Has been so wonderful I can't stop now There were times and your love is growing cold My love is growing stronger as our affair [affair] grows old I've been loving you a little too long, long, I don't want to stop now oh, oh, oh I've been loving you a little bit too long I don't wanna stop now No, no, no Don't make me stop now No baby I'm down on my knees Please, don't make me stop now I love you, I love you, I love you with all of my heart And I can't stop now Don't make me stop now Please, please don't make me stop now [Good god of mine]I love you I love you, I love you, I love you I love you, I love you I love you in so many different ways... I love you in so many different ways....
i didn't do anything wrong. i know that. she's even told me so. she just "found out" that she was still in love with a person she thought she'd never talk to again. apparently, they had a rough break up before. i know the story, but it's immaterial. what's difficult is that i see her 2 to 3 times a week. like i said, i'm not upset or bitter with her. she's part of me. the extra rib, if you will. i just want my rib back.
Dude, please tell me you didn't send that poem to her. It would kill any chance you might have. I know it sucks, but you HAVE to ignore her and let her know that you will be fine without her. Women appreciate confidence, and they deplore whiny crap. I promise.
i know there's other women out there. lots of them. but i don't let people inside often. i don't. and, in this case, i opened completely. let her meet my daughter. viewed her as a future wife and mother to my child. we talked of these things frequently! she said she wanted those things from me, too! in fact, she brought a lot of them up! *sigh* the tears are subsiding for now. this is sort of therapeutic, i guess. you guys may not know it, but you're affecting someone's life right now in positive way. thanks
What is your daughter going to think seeing you in this emotional shamble? You need to keep it together. Venting is a great way to let it out...just don't lose track of who needs you the most...your daughter. Sometimes, women come and go. Of course it hurts, but it seems like she has made a decision that you have no influence over, so you are just going to have to accept that and move on, with or without her.
no. no. i didn't. it may be a little before your time, but that's a song from otis redding that comes to mind. as for ignoring her, i don't know. the way i see it, i might as well be truthful to her and myself. i don't hate her. i still love her. so i'm going to be nice to her. i won't beg. at least not anymore. i'll just treat her the same way i always have, and move on slowly.
My friend as harsh as this may sound, you simply cannot take her back. If she wishes to be with some loser (drugs etc) than she is more trouble emotionally than she is worth. If she is willing to throw away what you have, then she does not respect it and does not respect you. If you take her back she will forever think she can do something and you will take her back and it will make you both miserable. You must be strong and let her go. It is over and can never be what it was. That is unforgivable for her to be thinking of someone else when she is with you. For her to go back with this guy shows that she doesn't respect you and never will. End all contact. Don't ever talk to her again. Don't answer her calls when this loser screws something up and she wants to lean on your shoulder for solace and as a fix. It ends. Have some self-respect otherwise no one will ever respect or truly love you. There is ALWAYS someone better out there that we haven't met. You have to get out there and immerse yourself in new people. I'm not sure of the quality of your game, but let me know what you like to do and I can give you suggestions on where to go.
i did send her an email. here it is (edited for name purposes)... *****, I get the feeling you and I won't be seeing or talking to each other much anymore, considering your feelings towards your ex. Apparently, those feelings are strong enough for you to leave someone you said you were in love with. I won't lie and say that I'm thrilled with your choice, but I accept it and do understand. The main thing I'm hurt about is the way you chose to do it. We spent 4 months together, having a great time. Our relationship was wonderful, because the lines of communication were always open. You were always able - and encouraged - to speak your mind. And, even if what you said bothered me, I never judged you, belittled you, or tried to hurt you. So, I have great difficulty understanding why, after all of this, and after you claim to be in love with me, you chose to avoid me for 3 days, rather than just talk to me. I have great difficulty understanding why you did not want to see or even talk to me for 3 days, then chose to tell me you're still hung up on your ex and don't want to be with me anymore, over the phone. I suppose your feelings for him are greater than they are for me. Or at least, great enough that you don't mind losing me. So be it... I still wonder why you cannot see the pattern you are in. Your penchant for having men around you as "friends" that you have slept with will forever damage your relationships. Reason being? They will always be there waiting to either be with you or sleep with you again. Of course, that put me in a horrible position, and you knew that. Still, you chose to keep it that way. Either way, I still loved you, still love you, and wish the best for you. Apparently, you need to be single and able to see and do whatever and whomever you wish. That's your right to do so. And you leave me with no choice other than to move on, as well. You've shut all of your doors, and locked me out, so the only thing I can do is go on down the road and find someone else. The last time we had this problem (you and other men...) it hurt me. The time before where we broke up because of your questions, hurt me. I cried for days. It was debillitating. This, however, is different. It's just a dull, painful seed. It's a feeling of "hey, I loved her unconditionally, gave her the freedom to do or say whatever she wanted, allowed her into my daughter's life, saw her as a future wife and mother to my precious child, and in the end, she still didn't want to stay with me. At least not at the cost of the other men she keeps in her life..." I know now that the many, many warnings I received from people at your job, including customers, ex men of yours, and management, about "how you are" were 100% correct. A leopard cannot change its spots. The funny thing is that despite the spots, I loved you and love you all the same. It just seems that that is not enough for you. You can't be happy and walk away from everything else. Or, maybe, it just isn't/wasn't enough. That's a harsh reality for me to accept, but one I have no other choice but to see. I'd love to be with you still, but you'd have to make a choice, and you'd need to do it quickly. The life you've lived - where you've bounced around from guy to guy - is over. The life you've lived - of keeping exes around - is over. The life you've lived - of giving guys you've been with ways to contact you (like this email address!) - is over. You'd have to be as 100% committed to me as I have been to you. Of course, it seems you've already made that decision. Over the phone, and after 3 days of not wanting to see or talk to me, no less. But it's not too late for you to change your mind. It's not too late. I'm a patient man, *****. Very patient. I told you before that I would not walk away from you, that you'd have to push me away. It appears you've managed to do that. But before you do something that would change our relationship irreversibly (like sleeping with him), consider what you are doing and what you are leaving behind. You already know what life with him is like. And you know what life with me is like, and can be like again, if you'll just be strong enough to leave your past behind. Always, ******
Great advice....you may want to wait a little longer next time, to introduce your daughter to your next girlfriend of course....
I feel your pain verse. They tell you there are plenty fish in the sea. They tell you just to forget about her. They tell you she was no good for you anyway. You try forever to convince yourself they are right... but you can't seem to do it. Only time will heal it, and it doesn't help when you still have to deal with being in some sort of contact with her. Its all part of the emotional roulette table known as love. you throw your lot in, hoping for the best, but then it becomes clear that it can only end up in loss, and a more miserable feeling then ever before, to the point where you almost wish you would have never had the happiness that came before hand.
