I currently in the midst of a 6 month relationship (we are now apart for the summer) and frankly, there is nothing wrong with the relationship, but I just want to be single. When I get back to college in the fall I want to have my independance to go out and chill with my boys, hit up the clubs, and go to parties. I want to meet all the new girls in my apartment complex (my first time living there). I want to check if the incoming freshman class is offering a lot of hotties. I want to hit up the gym with my friends and talk about the crazy things that we all did during the weekend. I don't want to be home on friday nights because my girlfriend wants to watch a movie. I don't want to be tied down with girlfriend type obligations during the new college semester. I just want the bachelor-type lifestyle again. Do you guys think there is anything wrong with this? What would be the best way to tell this to my girlfriend (since it is gonna sound harsh if I just tell her I want to break up to be single again)?
I'm so with you on that. But of course, I have a huge phobia when it comes to commitment. But I love being single and being with whomever whenever I choose. People tell me I'm crazy and that I'm going through a phase, which will pass in the next few years. Maybe they're right. But I doubt it. You're still pretty damn young and I think you should be free to do as you choose and not tied down.
agreed dude. college is the time to be independent. i've yet to commit my self to a serious relationship since i've been in school here, although going into my last year i could see that changing. but i say enjoy freedom while you can.
If you don't mind having to go through all the silliness in getting another girlfriend later, then more power to you. I thank my lucky stars every day that I'm already attached. "Freedom" is soooo overrated.
1) You are drunk! 2) You're pissed off because she mentioned another dude. 3) You are gay. 4) You are bored. 5) You think you have potential options. 6) Other Which one is it? or
I'm 33 and still going through whatever phase you're going through drapg. Now let's see... that 2nd floor... game room... media room.... office/geek room? DLP, LCD, or projector? Hmmm... God life's decisions are tough. BTW, I think one of the biggest mistakes guys can do is commit/get married when they're in their early 20's. Guys are pretty much dumbasses until they're dead, but they usually start maturing in terms of finances and responsibilities in their late 20's to mid 30's. I know there are exceptions, but ... It's also amazing how many guys I know that are in their early 30's wish they had some of that freedom back. They won't come out and say it but those workplace lunchtime conversations are often eye-opening (not to mention funny) and a seeming catharsis for some of those guys. One of them said something to the effect, "Dude, I'm not going to tell you not to get married because it can be fun, but damn..." And that was the end of that.
You're in college. The best years of your life. Have fun because it's all downhill from here. Your best bet is to live it up for now, then before you graduate, pick someone who you want to get serious with. She'll probably be the one you end up marrying.
havin a g/f back home makes you more attractive to the other chicks. make them want you - don't look desperate -- look like you are committed and then still have all the fun.
Of course you can, if you're honest about it, be in a relationship and still have the freedom to be sexual with others.
At the end of my junior year at Vandy, just after I got elected fraternity president (let the bashing begin) and was about to move into the house, the outgoing Prez gave me this one bit of advice: "Dump your girlfriend and date freshmen" It was like a hot stock tip. Franchise3, you're only young once....dump her. (Then buy a jumbo pack of condoms, because from what I have read, sexually transmitted diseases are a hell of lot more common now than they were in 1992. Thank god I am married.)
Be independant. You can't commit until you're employed with a future. Don't be afraid to put it exactly like that. Only a foolish or troubled girl wants to commit to someone who doesn't have a job and clear future. When you get there, you can make better decisions.
mateo. that is still the philosophy at vandy.. maybe thats why people are so eager to get moved in as soon as possible after freshman orientation begins
DoD. We're right here man. (Points at eyes). Your post brought a tear to my eye, b/c it rang so true.
The last thing you want to do is get attached or married just because "everyone else is doing it". I know too many people who married the wrong person because of this. There are many advantages to being single just like there are many disadvantages. If God wants me to be married, it will happen. There is no use or need to fret about. Plus when you are working 60+ hours a week (including weekends) for the last 3 weeks, the last thing you worry about is something like that, let alone posting on the Clutch BBS.
If you don't feel like committing, then don't. Try to introduce some distance. Downplay how serious it is. Otherwise you'll wonder what you missed later, or why you settled for something. It seems that, when people find the right person, they absolutely know it. (I could be wrong though.) Then there is that. I did the above and it was not smart.
Unfortunately the "right person" happens several times for a lot of people. My advice : grow up first - don't pile on responsibilities before you can handle them. Getting serious with one person sure as hell qualifies as a responsibility, too.
