[How would you handle this:] Religion & Homosexuality

Um.. why don't you just tell him honestly that his beliefs offends you, I mean if it's really bothering you that much. Other than that, then let him be.. at least he's not out there hurting some of these people or going door-to-door preaching.

I think you clearly need to unfacebook him. or put him in your limited profile list and not let him write on your wall. That'll teach him a lesson.

 

Yeah that facebook part was a joke. However I've had similar experiences with some people I know and the best way to deal with it is to just leave them alone. As long as they're not on your back preaching to you constantly, then just cut him loose.

Like I've said, at least he's only spewing hate from behind his monitor; and from what I gather, he only cares about this homosexuality subject. Maybe he still has a few deep kinks he needs to workout.

 

Sorry but. . .Judging by this. . .don't seem like he much of a friend
Seems like more nostalgia than friendship

He is who he is . . .
You are who you are . . .
Friends grow apart . . .to the point were they become associates
and further apart until they become .. . less than that
[if not enemies]

Rocket River

 

time to let this one go

 

There's no reasoning with crazy. I have a quite a few family members who think similarly as your former friend. I just ignore the stupidity.

Let it go.

 

I've never encountered this particular situation (the self-hating gay bashing Jesus freak), but I've had similar instances where friends' lives have taken directions that made me question their sanity and whether we could still be friends. There's nothing you can do. Your only choices are to partition the friendship in a way that this subject doesn't come up (doesn't seem likely), or walk away.

 

I agree 100% with your stance on the issues involved. And I agree with your interpretation that this guy is full of self hate. You don't like what is going on with him at this point in his life. And I suspect that he will go through another crisis at some point and possibly reverse his position again. I don't see why you have to cut him out of your life. You seem to have a very good and sympathic understanding of why he is acting the way he is. As such, remain his friend, and be prepared to pick up the pieces when he falters. You have been very clear with him about how you feel about his attitudes, so you are not being a hypocrite by staying friends. Here is the but, you don't have to hang out with him or get closely involved with him. Just keep it light and limited as much as is comfortable for you.

 

I don't pay that much attention to nor do I rely upon theological arguments because I don't think they hold up, but didn't he say himself that a sin is a sin?

I'm neither a Fundamentalist nor a Biblical literalist. Christians confuse me with (one the one hand):

A) You will go to Hell for un-confessed sin; don't we (guys anyway) all go down the drain with fleeting lust right there? I mean who can keep track?

B) If you accept Christ as your Savior, nothing you do in this life (good or bad) really matters for you are Heaven-bound anyway, i.e. the Deathbed Christian.

My Sunday School class has been reading "The Peacemaker" by Ken Sande. It's very good for situations like this and the author doesn't beat you to your knees with submission. I prefer Christ the Explainer to Christ the Gatekeeper.

How you gonna keep this out of the D&D?

 

Its a tough situation and I don't think you should just cut him off from your friendship. He is reaching out to you and he might not even know why but my guess based on the limited info is that he is probably feeling lonely and bitter and is looking to reconnect with old friends.

He might be telling you that to just convince himself that he is on the path of righteousness but that he says something like that would also indicate he is feeling bad about falling out with old friends and he's probably lost several.

From knowing some people who have wrestled with their homosexuality including very negative attitudes from family and neighborhood it wouldn't surprise me if this is what he is feeling. He is possibly reaching out to you an old friend who had been understanding to possibly get some sort of validation, that either you think it is OK what he believes or that you strongly disagree. He might not be aware of that and his contacting you he probably saw as bringing the word to someone who he felt needed it.

My advice is to keep his friendship but don't get into arguments with him. You've stated your position and he's stated his and maybe talk about something else. Just going back and forth condeming each other isn't going to help him, or you, but if you show that think he is wrong but aren't going to cut him off he might be able to work things out better. OTOH if you cut him off he will possibly just retreat more into dogma.

I'm not going to pretend to be Dr. Phil but that's my two cents for what its worth.

 

Pardon me if this question gets this moved to the D & D but I've never really understood the idea of a deathbed conversion.

It seems to me like you could leave an evil life and then at the very end declare you faith and go to Heaven where as someone could lead a good life, though never believe and still go to Hell. I understand that faith is the primary tenet of Protestant Christianity and under that faith rather than good works is the key to salvation but that does seem to create a loophole regarding how one leads life.

 

No kidding. How good a friend is he if you haven't spoken to him in 8-9 years? Is it worth all this drama?

Unless you get off on arguing about stuff like this and getting all worked up (you know, there's always the D&D ), I would just move on. Seriously, is this the hill you want to die on?

 

Tell him that you just can't support his unmoving/loving position as one from God and cut him off.

DD

 

Just a bit of advice... If you don't want this to turn into a D&D type of thread... perhaps you should refrain from referring to people with opposing beliefs as "nuts". It is offensive and I'm sure it encites anger for more than a few people on this board.

 

I can answer this, but I'm afraid that takes the thread away from what the thread-starter had in mind. Email me if you like.

 

People go through phases in their lives. You may just have to revisit this guy in five years or so.

 

NO KIDDING.

I can't escape the notion that how you live your life will determine your eternal fate, but of course if you reach back further you will usually find that someone who leads an exemplary life is also deeply spiritual-- even if it is not articulated by Christology. I tend to think that that is sufficient for Eternal Reward.

 

Judge not, lest ye be judged.