Why don't you just put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner? Or better yet, how bout those silly little double sided things that an idiot would just keep turning over and over and over infinitely until they die?
I wonded! I wonded! Woo hoo! I'm not wunuh dem ih-dee-uts! what the heck is an ID-ten-T? hmm.... ID10T
Load the page and hit the spacebar. Who needs a mouse when the "idiot" that designed the page left the focus on the control you're trying to hit?!