In general, how successful are you with women? Do you find yourself jumping through hoops for the slightest chance that you will get laid? If you have success, what would you say is your best asset when it comes to picking up the ladies? Humor? Looks? Money? Lies to make you look good? These questions are for each type of man here, those who are just looking to get laid and those who are looking for a little more.
I always used to struggle with the "nice guy syndrome". Would always talk to girls in bars/clubs as though they were really interesting, as if I cared about the crap they were going on with. They all loved me for it, but I rarely scored with the hotties. Then the arseholes would sleaze onto something right in front of me and score. Women are stupid, or at least, women in clubs are.
I am crazy successful...which is funny because I am married. I have had multiple coworkers let me know that they are available if I am interested (one nasty one going so far as to tell me she wants to "f### the sh## out of me", I recently found out through one of my friends that there was a group of four women who would hang out with me and my wife just because they wanted to be around me - they apparently would even talk about how bad they felt about it because my "wife is so cool". Overall it is really strange. Let this be a lesson to you single guys. I am told it is because of my looks, hair, and "mean" personality but I think a lot of it is because I don't care. I don't have any pressure of "will I close the deal" because I am married. So I am always confident, always a bit aloof, always sarcastic (when I was younger I think I made the mistake of trying to seem nicer than I was...stupid me - they don't want nice). At first I thought it was some weird female thing about an unobtainable man, but some recently have been trying so hard to obtain that I don't think it is just that fantasy anymore. It is all so odd. Chicks are psycho.
Yeah, similarly, I'm very picky personality wise so I'm not even interested in most of the women I meet even if they are very beautiful (physically). For some reason women go crazy over that. They think "why isn't this guy trying to get in my pants!" I think it's frustrating for them possibly more than having "rando's" fawning over them.
As a flirt? Zero skills. I'm just too straight forward. I Just say what's on my mind and don't play games. When I do end up in a relationship though my problem is most girls end up in love with me and it's hard to let them down easy.
In terms of just getting ass? Moderately -- I'm not the greatest at striking up conversation but once I get it going I can usually seal the deal. My buddies and I typically work in pairs so there's usually someone else there to pump me up/play off of but I can usually hang on my own. In terms of relationships? Utter fail -- I just got out of a 2 year relationship, my longest and I'm almost 30. I've dated some pretty amazing women; unfortunately, I usually do something to muck it up.
Yep. If you want chicks to "want" you, get married or just buy a wedding band and wear it. Female-female competition is the greatest motivating factor amongst the fairer sex. Male "pissing contests" can't hold a candle to the level of fierce competition among the womens...
I use to have it down, but after dating my current gf for 3.5 years, I've lost all abilities to pick up women. If we don't get married, I'm screwed (and not in the fun way)...
tough to respond without sounding like kind of a douche Been married since I was 29 (32 now), but before I was married I was very successful with women. See, the key for me was not trying to pick them up. Project confidence and don't show that you are interested...women like a challenge. I have a pretty good sense of humor (which doesn't translate onto mb's ) and just found that being relaxed, not appearing eager and being confident made things pretty easy. No cheesey lines, no aggressive drink buying, no talking about money or lying...just have good bull****. Ask questions, joke around, just do every thing you can to make it look like you are NOT hitting on them while continuing to talk to them. I need to add that 95% of the time this happened at bars or parties so both parties were at least a little bit inebriated most of the time...that certainly helps . It wasn't like I just walked into a Kroger and left the store with a chick.
Before I was married, meeting women was never an issue. It's all about confidence, a little bit of cockiness, and a good sense of humor. You need to not give a damn, or at least appear that way as well- it makes you a challenge. I'll go far enough to say that money makes NO difference. Also, anyone struggling with meeting girls should check out The Ladder Theory.
I quit corporate america, moved to Switzerland and started doing missions work in Ecuador, Brazil, Thailand, Indonesia & Italy for several years with no money. Landed me the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on.. a native swiss beauty. Now I have a superhot ministry partner at my side to explore the dark corners of the world with. I was generally successful in the past with women, but the playing field changed completely when I stopped giving a damn about it!
This is very true. When you try it comes across as desperate. Now, there are times to try if you have a certain girl in your sights, but on an everyday, go about your business, way you should just not care and don't think about it. After my last g/f I was just doing my own thing and not worried about finding another relationship. So i didnt try and it was amazingly successful. Now, i still talked to cute girls if we crossed paths but did it in a way that was not making them feel like i was just trying to be smooth. Tao of Steve said it pretty well... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dex: Do you want to have sex with this woman? Dave: Definitely. Dex: Okay, then you're violating the first rule of being Steve. Dave: Who? Dex: You must learn to eliminate your desire. Rick: It's Buddhist. Dex: I think the Taoists said it first. Rick: Hey, are we gonna have a seminar or are we gonna play golf? Dex: Just a short seminar on the elimination of desire, okay? If you're out with this girl and even THINKING about getting laid, you're finished, cuz women can smell an agenda like **** on a shoe.
Well, if one thing is for sure, woman are complicated! I've discovered that the more I ditch a girl and pleasently make fun of her and act like a jerk towards her because i'm not interested in her, the more she gets interested in me. I've discovered this about a year ago (i'm 19), and since then, i've been applying this theory to the woman I find attractive and would like to date. And guess what, I works! I call it the "boomerang theory": The farther you throw it away, the fastest it comes back! I find it disappointing though, because i'd rather be nice with woman and not have to act that way!
I've got a horrible track record with girls... So far I'm: Spoiler 0/0 Silly boys, you were hoping for something better, weren't you?
I cringe every time I hear a guy tell a girl they are beautiful and this and that. If these guys would only get it?! That shyt doesnt work.
I never make much effort to meet females. I don't find the chase satisfying. I just wait for the desperate or low self esteem ones and let that do the work for me. I could probably bag hotter women with increased effort, but my effort to success ratio is off the charts. For now, I will stick with efficiency over aesthetics.
