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How Many Serious Relationships Did You Have Before You Found The One?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Dubious, Sep 10, 2003.

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How many serious relationships did you have before you found the one?

Poll closed Sep 15, 2003.

  1. 3 or less

    28 vote(s)
    70.0%

  2. 5

    6 vote(s)
    15.0%

  3. 10

    2 vote(s)
    5.0%

  4. more than 10

    4 vote(s)
    10.0%
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  1. Dubious

    Dubious Member

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    How many serious relationships did you have before you found the one? By 'serious' I'd say dating exclusively for more than 30 days or that one of you thought that this was it. Or, whatever you think serious is.
    I just want to know how big a pool you are sampleing before you make a committment. I contend that these dating shows where you choose between 20 pre-screened applicants probably have a better chance of resulting in successful relationships that our actions in real life.
     
    #1 Dubious, Sep 10, 2003
  2. Rocketman95

    Rocketman95 Hangout Boy

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    Well, I may be starting my 4th serious relationship, even though I'm thinking more and more that my 3rd was the one. Oh well, time will tell.
     
    #2 Rocketman95, Sep 10, 2003
  3. Chance

    Chance Member

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    I had one and she was just a high school sweetheart type thingie. I met my wife and just 'knew'. That was 9 years ago and no regrets.
     
    #3 Chance, Sep 10, 2003
  4. Lil Pun

    Lil Pun Member

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    #4 Lil Pun, Sep 10, 2003
  5. Lil Pun

    Lil Pun Member

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    Oh yeah, if you have more than 10 then all of those probably weren't serious.
     
    #5 Lil Pun, Sep 10, 2003
  6. Master Baiter

    Master Baiter Member

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    I had a serious girlfriend in HS and then I met my wife when I was in the Navy. We were married when I was 19 and she was 21. We will have our 7th anniversay on November 9th. I love being married.
     
    #6 Master Baiter, Sep 10, 2003
  7. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    [edited to remove bad karma] Currently on #6.
     
    #7 Buck Turgidson, Sep 10, 2003
    Last edited: Sep 10, 2003
  8. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Member

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    4 and counting. I'm currently an unrestricted free agent.
     
    #8 ima_drummer2k, Sep 10, 2003
  9. Buck88

    Buck88 Member

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    This is a little off topic but, How did you guys know she was "the one". I think I've felt something similar and it can best be described as there was nothing she could do that would ever make me stop loving her. We are no longer together and have tried to get back together twice and both times she's broken it off with me. And still I'm in love with her. We were together for a little over 5 years, the first time 3 and the second time 2, and I would take her back in a heart beat if she called up tomorrow and said "let's give it another shot". That's as close to unconditional love as I think I'll ever be capable of, save my children when I have them. From the first day I meet her to just a few weeks ago when she called out of the blue, my heart literally skips a few beats when I hear her voice.

    What told you guys she was the one?
     
    #9 Buck88, Sep 10, 2003
  10. Master Baiter

    Master Baiter Member

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    I dont know, I just knew. I told my friend, that I was with the night I met her, that I was going to marry her. Two months later we were married.
     
    #10 Master Baiter, Sep 10, 2003
  11. Buck88

    Buck88 Member

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    Two months:eek:

    Damn bro.......you move fast!
     
    #11 Buck88, Sep 10, 2003
  12. oomp

    oomp Member

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    my wife moved into my place in college, and we have been together since. i had one serious one prior to that.
     
    #12 oomp, Sep 10, 2003
  13. MadMax

    MadMax Member

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    2 serious relationships before meeting my wife
     
    #13 MadMax, Sep 10, 2003
  14. Mrs. JB

    Mrs. JB Member

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    Five
     
    #14 Mrs. JB, Sep 10, 2003
  15. JuanValdez

    JuanValdez Member

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    Gene, how's your theory holding up?

    I don't know what 'the one' is. I have a 'the one' since I'm now happily married. But, talking about 'the one' sounds like there is some cosmic plan in which people are built in pairs and you must go and find the one that was custom-fitted to you. I love my wife, but, in different cicumstances, I think there are probably thousands of women I could have married and been equally happy with. Of course, some with more of a predestination bent than I have may see some sense in such a cosmic plan; if so, fine, I can accept that. But lacking a God who makes life's purpose a mission to find your unique and specific complementary piece, I don't really understand the concept of 'the one.'

    I don't know if I could say that I had any serious relationship before dating my wife-to-be. I would guess more generally that those who settled on a wife quickly are less likely to split later. Maybe they are less fickle and that's why they settle quickly and manage to stick with it. Or, maybe all the searching makes them fickle and more willing to change with the blowing of the winds. I don't know; it is just an uninformed theory.
     
    #15 JuanValdez, Sep 10, 2003
  16. super_mario

    super_mario Member

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    You'd better not say this to your wife. ;)

    Actually, I feel the same way. I had one serious relationship before dating my wife. I know that earlier in my life I wasn't looking to get married so I wasn't looking for the "one".
     
    #16 super_mario, Sep 10, 2003
  17. Dubious

    Dubious Member

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    Well my theory seems to be holding up. People seem to adapt to a mate of convienence rather than search extensively to find a soul mate. I know for men, we usually pick the first woman that will have sex with us on a recurring basis; if it's oral sex forget it we're done. It seems that finding 'the one is' is more about the committment than the compatability i.e. we seem to make a committment to the first person we find minimally acceptable to us who might might make aq commitment to us. So yes, I think there are any number of women out there one could have a long and happy relationship with. The real causes of breakups have less to do with compatability than with infidelity, money problems and other external stresses.

    Even so , it's no wonder almost 50% of marriges end in divorce because the pool we select a mate from is so small. The TV shows where you have 20 candidates pre-screened for looks , personality, sexuality, and significant others should be vastly more sucessful than real life for producing happy commitments. since most of us seem to pick from about 3.
     
    #17 Dubious, Sep 10, 2003
  18. HOOP-T

    HOOP-T Member

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    #18 HOOP-T, Sep 10, 2003
  19. bnb

    bnb Member

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    As unromantic as it may seem, I'm going to agree with supermario and juan.

    "the one" is often a result of finding someone you truly love at a time that you're ready for that kind of relationship.
     
    #19 bnb, Sep 10, 2003
  20. no_answer

    no_answer Member

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    I've had numberious rebound relationships but two serious guys. One im with now, one I dont know what happened to him.
     
    #20 no_answer, Sep 10, 2003
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