HOw does one go from "Getting Married, living together, status to...

I couldn't tell you what to do...I'm bad about advice like that. But to me, this smacks of her being observing, if not directly being presented with, another option than you. Perhaps things are going great with you, she likes the idea of marriage, wants to be together, and then one day at the supermarket a semi-attractive guy hits on her or something and, even though she might not have even responded, it could have at least gotten her thinking about the massive commitment that is marriage and she suddenly gets cold feet. Just a possibility.

If it were me, I'd try the hang her out to dry bit and see if she ever makes up her mind.

 

Hey, is this the same girl who dropped her glass on your wood floors?

If it is, man you sure put up with a lot of **** from this girl. It's time for tough love man, leave her be, and have her make up her mind. You don't want to get married while this girl is still trying to 'figure stuff' out. Add to that you have the emotional well-being of a 7-yr-old daughter to take care, tough love is the only answer.

The time to seperate your heart and mind is now. Do what is best for YOUR family. If you give her the boot, she might wise up, and realize that she has someone special who loves her. You don't want someone who takes you for granted. It starts now, if she doesn't respect you and thankful for you being in her life now, married life will always be troublesome.

Sometimes people just need a swift kick in the ass to show them what the f*ck is up.

 

If you love someone set them free, they will come back if it is meant to be.

DD

 

Agree with coma.

You can't live your life based on how you FEEL, especially when you have a daughter who is depending on you. You have to do the right thing for your daughter even if it means sacrificing feeling good for a while. You think having some flake moving in and out of her life is good for her? You think that's good role modeling for her? You need to find a woman, not some flakey little girl who likes playing house but "doesn't know what she wants right now".

Remember, your daughter is watching and observing how you handle this...and learning...

 

Ding Ding Ding. We have a winner.

 

She's about to dump you - probably for another guy.

Seen it before a bazillion times.

Prepare yourself: if she has anything valuable of yours, ask for it back (don't do it with everything, just the stuff you really don't wanna lose). Also, take any action necessary to protect your finances and valuables (cars, credit cards, property, bank accounts, etc.).

Also, emotionally prepare yourself for the inevitable breakup. If she has any class at all, she'll break up with you before she hooks up with some other guy. Given your symptoms, though, that usually doesn't happen.

Sorry to break it to you. Let us know how things develop.

-- droxford

 

Have to agree with DD here. Just let your GF decide what she wants and don't go waiting up for her. If it's meant to be, it will be.

 

The WORST thing you can do is to try to get her to do something she doesn't want to do. If she feels "forced" to live with you she'll always be bitter about it.

If you don't end up married you're better off breaking it off now than having to get divorced later. Just take it slow.

 

3 am. Hmmph.

I bet you daughter knows what to do when her 7 yr old friends dump on her that way. Or maybe not. Maybe you should teach her.

So, why should I hire you? What do you do?


btw, I met a pretty vietnamese girl looking for an american boyfriend Sat.)

 

It sounds to me like she needed some space.

Did something happen on your trip to visit her family? Maybe a family member or friend pointed out something to her that made her question something about your relationship? It could be that she was just questioning the marriage commitment for some other reason.

When I'm having a tough time with my wife, the only thing that gets it resolved is communication (preferably when we're both ready). In my experience with relationships, whenever I haven't tried to resolve issues, I don't always get the best results...

Before you do the "tough love" thing, I would talk to your girlfriend and find out what's bothering her. Tell her how you feel about the situation (including the impact on your daugher) and try to figure it out. Hopefully, you've got a better relationship--worst case, you're out of the relationship, but you'll save yourself a lot of rough nights worrying about it.

JMO

 

The satisfied woman.


A store that sells husbands has just opened in Houston where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building, and never come back.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love, kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight..

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day.

 

Awesome post, giddyup. I'm savin' that'n'.

 

Read and re-read exactly what you wrote there. Now imagine someone other than you wrote it. What would you tell that person to do?

Now you have your answer, but don't step back. Walk away.

 

Hoop-T

I know exactly what your going through. I went through a very similar situation and mine didn't work out. My advise it to walk away. I know you won't becuase I couldn't. In my experience, and your COULD be different, she just was not ready to commit. Funny thing is she was the one pushing for marriage. And once I started to become receptive to the idea she started with the whole "I've never been alone before, and I have to see if I can make it alone". She didn't want to break-up either but rather see other people. IMO, it's just an easy way to let you down without her having to break-up with you, but rather push you away where you will get fed-up with the situation and you'll call things off.

 

I think she needs to decide what she wants. Maybe you could play this game with her if it was just you, but your daughter is involved as well.

If she decides she wants back in your life, then the two of you need to discuss what that means. I think she needs to be upfront with her intentions. If she is looking to date, and have fun, but not settle down, she should tell you that. She owes you that.

 

Good luck, Hoop-T.

Stay strong, dude. Your daughter loves you.

 

Well, all I can say is that there had to be signs that she was about to do this, but maybe you were too in love to see...I know from personal experience how hard it is to let go, but you'll always find out things happen for a reason and sometimes unanswered prayers are the best things that could have happened...

I feel for you and your daughter, but you have to emotionally prepare yourself and your daughter for this...Maybe she's not ready for an instant family or whatever, but remember its her loss, not yours...

Keep up your chin...