For something really big? Three years ago, my father orchestrated the construction of my house. We bought an empty lot, bought a bunch of wood and built it up out of nothing in four or five months. I wanted to do something to really thank him, but couldn't think of anything adequate, so I did nothing. I mean, I told him thank you, but that rolls off like it's no big deal. I wanted to do something big to let him know I really appreciated it. It's come up again recently. My wife has started a new business teaching cooking classes (Urban Chef, if anyone is interested. Grand Opening is this coming Saturday) and my father has built out the kitchen for it. It looks great and the only wages I had to pay was to make sure the worksite was stocked with beer. So, now that's two monumental favors I couldn't possibly repay him for (in addition to siring me, raising me, educating me, and getting me a car when I was 16). I don't need to repay him, but I can't even think of an adequate way to thank him -- again. He would say there's no need -- except to do the same for my own children when the time comes (which I intend to do). But, I still want to do something. It seems impossible though. He has more financial means than I do, so I can't get him anything he couldn't himself afford. He's too stoic to tolerate anything sentimental. He's too self-sufficient for me to do something for him. The only thing I can think of that would really suffice would be to put together a show for him (he's a painter) -- but I think he's too particular about the venues in which his art is seen to do that sort of thing for him. I'm not posting looking for suggestions, since obviously no one knows the parties well enough to make a good suggestion. I suppose I'm looking for empathy. Does anyone else feel so unable to convey to their parents their gratitude (apologies to those who may not have much to be grateful for) for everything they've been given?
Can you afford to send them on a vaction of some sort? A cruise, or something of the like? I don't know what your folks like... Don't know if that was the type of suggestion you were looking for after reading your 3rd paragraph.
Get him a "world's greatest dad" coffee cup. Seriously. Have a talk with him. Take him to dinner, a ball game or something then tell him again how much you appreciate the things he's done for you and how much he means to your and your family. Be specific and lastly let him know that his infulence on your life and your family will be felt for generations and that you can only hope to be as good a father to your children as he has been.
Wow, JV, that almost brought tears to my eyes. Your story has inspired me to be more grateful to my parents. I've decided that I'm putting them in a second rate nursing home instead of that third rate nursing home I was thinking about... ...anyways, I know what you mean. I got my truck towed at work a few years ago, and my parents drove all the way down to come and pick me up, then they paid the $175 towing fee.
My Dad loaned me a great sum of money to help get out of credit card debt. He didn't have a timeline for me to pay him back and was always understanding if a month went by and I couldn't give him anything. I just finished paying him back last month. I've always told him I don't want to see a dime in inheritence. My parents aren't uber-rich by any means, but they are comfortable. I want nothing more than for them to enjoy their golden years. I want them to drive the cars they've always wanted to drive (my Mom's got a badass Roadster) and travel to all the places they've always wanted to go. That, and my new goal is to take my Dad to the Masters.
I'm in a similar situation. I plan on just buying some beer and spend some time hanging out with him by the chimenia.
A hand written letter about how much he means to you...... It means a lot when you 5 year old writes you a letter, and it still means a lot when your 30 year old does too. DD
Maybe a number one dad t-shirt... IZZY MANDELBAUM: What the hell is that? JERRY SEINFELD: What? IZZY: That shirt. You think that you are the number one dad? MORTY SEINFELD: This was a gift from my son. Morty displays the shirt proudly. Jerry smiles. IZZY: Oh, I see how it works now. (indicates Jerry) He knocks me outta commission, so (indicates Morty) you can strut around in your fancy number one shirt. (moves the bedcovers) Well, I'll show you who's number one. Izzy starts to move to get out of bed. JERRY: Mr Mandelbaum, please. IZZY: It's go time. Izzy stands up and there is a familiar crunching noise. Izzy freezes in his stance, arms raised.
I think spending time with your dad is the best gift you can give him. Rent a cabin somewhere and go on a week-long fishing trip, just you and him. Another great thing you can do is find out more about your father. Most of us know our parents as "parents" and not as individual human beings. You can do a documentary style movie or recording about your father's life. The actual documentary isn't that important, the important thing is the process of asking your father questions and getting answers about his past. THere is a cool thing called storycorps, which sets up public booths for people to interview anyone they like: http://storycorps.net/
I think RudyTuesday has something. You should DO something simple but directed. Put some thought into it. For example, what is his favorite restaurant or his favorite meal? Take him there and have the chef prepare a special meal just for your dad. Take him on your parents anniversary or on a special day. If that is too formal, just take him to a bar or take him to Rockets/Texans/Astros or buy him a couple of really nice cigars or a bottle of wine or scotch and make it a guy thing. Just do ANYTHING that makes it look like you gave it some thought. Then just look him in the eye and say "Thanks". ...but definately get him that "world's greatest dad coffee mug."
buy him a cadillac, or a tee-shirt that says world's greatest dad. MORTY: Jerry, this is Del Boca Vista's new physical fitness room. They got medicine balls, you can bike ride, anything you want. JERRY: Stairmaster? MORTY: What? JERRY: Nothin'. MORTY: (opening his tracksuit top) See what I'm wearing? Morty has on the '#1 DAD' shirt. JERRY: Oh, did you get that outta my bag? MORTY: No, your mother found it. Son, this is the most wonderful and thoughtful thing you've ever done for me. JERRY: You know, I bought you a Cadillac. Twice. Urban Chef's web site has no pics.
