How Do You Talk To Teenage Boys About Sex In The Age Of Internet p*rn

Does playing GTA make you wanna rob a mother****er?

 

When I was a teenager was the print kind and was hard to get. I have mixed opinions though about the universal availability of p*rn. I think there is definitely a danger of it warping expectations about sex and I've heard that things like the INCEL movement are partially based on the availability of p*rn. From what I've seen though of the Millennial generation and Gen Z is that on the whole they aren't as warped as us older folks might think.

For my generation Gen X there were warnings that constant exposure to TV and video games might warp how we view things like sexuality and violence. I'm not going to say we turned out with no issues but I think those fears were overblown. I think with the current generation growing up with access to much more media fears might be overblown too.

That doesn't mean that we shouldn't just ignore potential problems and consider everything fine. Like we were taught we need to understand that most of what we see through media is entertainment and isn't reality. That includes social media. p*rn is really just entertainment through a 2D limited sensory media. It's not the same as real life. It's like saying that watching the WWE compares to what it really is like to get on a mat and actually wrestle somebody.

 

I like that and I think the key is "not judgment". For many of us we grew up with attitudes that considered sex shameful and I think those attitudes are far more damaging than the widespread availability of p*rn.

 

I think it's unhealthy. But while I'm concerned about my own son to a reasonable extent, I mostly think it's unhealthy for everybody, not just young people still developing. I expect to tell my son to not watch it, that it objectifies women and delusionally glorifies sex, that it sets false standards of beauty, that it substitutes domination for intimacy; and I expect he'll watch it anyway.

 

You brought up a good point. I do feel TV has had a massive impact on Gen X. There can be graphs found showing the GDP vs Income that will show a divergence starting in the 70's. There are many thoughts that can be attributed to this. Women entering the workforce, civil rights movement, massive influence from ads and tv, the budding debt bubble, and tech boom. Some feel we have hit a stagnation point starting in the 70's. This is also when we started facing massive ineptitude from politicians, the industrial military complex taking a foothold in the industry, and a consolidation of wealth.

That said, I don't flippantly dismiss the impact p*rn has on society. Women are certainly more open than they have been in the past. Kids in elementary school are looking at p*rn now. I dont necessarily think p*rn is evil, but like many touchy subjects, I do believe their is a line of caution. I feel this will encourage kids to have sex at a younger age, which in turn creates more teenage pregnancies and thus the vicious cycle of poverty continues. The families who are well off and educated know to address this at a younger age and help their children to navigate through it. The bigger concern is the decoupling of the idea of traditional marriages and how sexes view each other. Before the 'well it works in europe ...' troupe brigade steps it, the USA is not ready for this.

I believe Gen X, Y and Z are unsure how to handle the worlds situation (which explains why we keep electing relics from the product of the 50's). There is a thought that Gen X and later have respected the previous 3 generations for enduring the hard times and help build America to what it represents today. But I also believe they are realizing what a fraud they were, mortgaging their childrens future and now its time to pay. This is why I feel like im radically changing my views.

 

Spoiler

Fap away boys!



@Jontro

 

waiting till boys are teenagers would be too late. i fapped in the 2nd grade (debatable for 1st, but 2nd for sure), so if my parents were to wait till I'm 13, they'd be a few 5 years late.

 

I have a 14-year-old boy. We started talking about sex and the internet when he was 12.

It's extremely, super important to have a filter on any devices they use. I use Qustodio which is essentially a VPN that has to be on for the profile to use the internet. You can adjust what they can see.

He's been busted for looking at some weird **** (nothing terribly graphic) and we had a talk about it and a few since. It's important to be as honest and serious as you can. I straight up told him there was stuff out there that made me cry and I am a grown man who has seen some ****. I told him that he never wants to see this stuff. I tried to be as ambiguous as possible while driving the point home because saying the things informs him that they exist. He knows he can always talk to me or his mother, and so far it's a pretty open dialogue.

We've left some Victoria's Secret and women's swimsuit catalogs out but I don't think he's taken the bait. He's a sweet kid and sort of spacey so it might have never occurred to him to snag one. Or maybe we're too smart as parents and he knows it.

Also, keep an eye out for what their friends are doing. I personally drop Qustodio in any conversations I have with their friend's parents.

So in short, trust but verify. Communicate, don't yell, keep the door open for questions, but also monitor.

There's no way to protect them forever and kids are wily and figure out ways to circumvent boundaries. But setting a good example and putting limits is important in any aspect of parenting.

 

I don't know about teenagers. However I can tell you that the women I have played with that are under 30 are open to doing a whole lot more stuff than women that are Gen X and that is largely due to p*rnography IMO. My wife has even discussed it. Some of her cousins are younger than my wife and they will do many things. Also the expectations for what they want from a male sex partner are seeming to go lower.

 

Very true. I've watched this evolve for a long time.

 

there is no doubt some level of my depravity comes directly from p*rn ive seen.

I do think young exposure can have an impression and only god knows what they have seen. I think back to 'faces of death' and these isis beheading deals and I have had to become visually desensitized but at older age. Kids are getting that download at young age. Due to all the crazy I think maybe they are seeing this almost as fake or exception. I hope.

I constantly say ' hey don't do this from a video' and they look at me like im an idiot. They know better and seem to brush it off. I just wonder about kids getting caught in some p*rn search that has them latch on to mannequin fuc*king or god knows what and think its mainstream. Thats the thing..
sorry to offend any of you mannequin fuc*kers

played eh? I always think of that as a funny word to use.. wife and I go to desire rm we were supposed to go in september but thats not going to happen sad face

 

From what I've heard is that teenage pregnancies are down from what they were in the 80's and 90's. This graph stops at 2013 but my understanding is that the downward trend has continued.


I don't think there is any single explanation for this but one thing I've heard is that the availability of p*rn rather than making youth want to go out and have sex with other people has made them less interested in sex with real people. This is because of the unrealistic expectations shown in p*rn and also that showing sex without any context of how you get from meeting someone to jumping in the bed is crippling social skills. This is one reason why there is an INCEL movement.

 

I'm not a parent but as someone who's helped raise some kids and also coached college age students. I agree with you that communication is very important. I understand it's a difficult subject and to be brutally honest I don't think my parents ever communicated about sexuality well with me and most of what I learned was from media (including p*rn) and from friends. This is why I think the attitude that sex is something that is shameful and should be hidden is more damaging than having easy access to p*rn. I think telling kids the bad and good about sex and that what you see on the internet shouldn't be considered real I think is a good way to go.

 

Make the whole family watch the Deuce series on HBO to get a different perspective on the evolution of the sex industry from the 60s through the 80s. I finished that series in a week and afterwords was completely turned off from p*rn. That show makes you care about sex workers and their struggles in a very profound way that is depressing but all too real. Especially towards the end of the series when you realize a lot of women in the industry that are known for a year or two often just disappear from the spotlight, usually dead from drug overdose, suicide or a mishmash combination of abusive domestic relationships with unwanted children as a result raised in an environment where the mom's job to provide is by using her body or recording other people using their body for pitiful pay and poor working conditions that costs human lives and profits from human suffering.

Sex is beautiful, wonderful and why we are all discussing it on this message board. If only everybody that's walked this Earth got experience it in such a positive light every time the deed is done, we'd probably all be better for it.

 

This goes hand in hand with Millennials living at home in to their 30's with their parents. Why leave? Everything is provided, including sexual gratification in terms of p*rn. My little brother is 27 (my dad got remarried to a lady 4 years older than me, no she's not hot by any means and yes, her name is Karen), lives at home, got his driver's license a year ago, and from what my sister tells me, he has never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. He has a job but it's straight there and back, very little outside social life. He's always been a gamer and I know he has friends online that he's never met in person. Maybe he has a SO online too.

I don't get it; the biggest urge I had at 16 was to GTFO my house so I could get laid. Fleshlights might be great but there's no comparison to a real person.

If banging a mannequin is the 'worst' my kids see I'll start going to church on a weekly basis.

 

I suggest “Naked and Afraid”.