How do you know if you're a homophobe?

They'll tell you.

 

There must be some type of homophobe-aphobia amongst gays. It took my brother 3 years to tell me, because he was afraid I would be homophobic.

 

With incidents like the infamous Mathew Sheperd case awhile back, can you blame them?

 

His brother was afraid Behad would beat him up, tie him to a fence, and leave him to die?

I still haven't told my parents I smoked for four and a half years, so I can only imagine what it would be like to have tell them you were sexually attracted to man-rump.

 

*biting tongue*

. . .moving on. . .
What is consider Homophobe?
Not liking gay folx? Not liking the 'lifestyle?
or
Treating them in a negative manor?


Rocket River
. . . . . not going to Jack this thread.

 

being a homophobe and being discriminatory against homosexuals is two completely different things...i assumed everyone knew this but im not getting that feeling after reading some of the posts.

being a homophobe is being uncomfortable around gays and not wanting to be around gays because you think people will think you are gay etc...it has nothing to do with hating them

 

I've known a lot of gay men and women and counted many among my friends. IMO, being a homophobe is mostly about the same things racism or sexism are about. If you view a person as inherently different because of who they are, you are perpetuating a stereotype that is uncomfortable, often times, for that person.

If I walked up to you, AB, as a stranger and said, "Word, bro" in my best weak black-rapper-guy imitation, not only would I be a monumental dweeb, but I'd be treating you in a stereotypical way.

By the same token, if I walked up to a gay stranger and said, "Girl, you look fabulous," chances are, he'd think I was making fun of him or worse.

On the other hand, I have black, Hispanic, Asian, homosexual, etc. friends who would NEVER be offended by that. In fact, I had a black friend who passed away earlier this year and he and I used to do the barber shop routine from Coming to America and just laugh our asses off - of course, he referred to me as Wonder Bread and I didn't take offense either.

The point is, if you view someone else's choices or lifestyle as a problem or hurdle to be overcome in order for friendships to develop, you probably aren't a homophobe, but you definitely have prejudices. It would be the same as saying, "He's liberal" or "She's conservative" or "He's black" or "She's Asian" and using that as an excuse to avoid contact or friendship.

To me, it's really just about, "Is this person nice?" or "Is this person fun?" If he/she meets that criteria, that's enough. I don't care if he/she is gay, black, conservative, deformed, short, fat, whatever. None of that really matters and it really shouldn't even though I know it does for everyone.

I would say that homophobes are the furthest extreme. It's like a racist. To me, we are all prejudice but it takes a certain level of hate to be racist or homophobic. It may be semantic in nature - racist vs. prejudice, homophobic vs. uncomfortable with gays.

I doubt you're close to that at all, but I admire you for recognizing your feelings and trying to deal with them. That takes courage.

 

Wait. I'm confused by this. Are you saying we should not view people as being inherently different based on... their differences?

 

I think the past couple of years there have been plenty of side remarks as to Steve and Cat's possible relationship. As far as how it affects me being a fan of Steve I'd say it doesn't bother me. He's fun and exciting to watch on the court, he has loads of talent and he is an all-star. I'd still be a Steve fan if he came out of the closet.

B

 

Just my 2 cents worth, as someone who had to confront this full steam when he moved to San Francisco a few years ago. I think if you're "mentally blocking out" somebody's gayness, then you're uncomfortable enough with it to qualify for "phobia," so that's homophobic. And I don't think *honest* homophobia that you try to keep to yourself is such a bad thing. The awareness is good.

Also, IMHO, the homophobia often comes from people being afraid of the answers of hard questions they could ask themselves. You know what I mean. If you can quit fearing the answers to the questions and even answer them for yourself (e.g. "Am I even a little bit gay somehow?"), then the discomfort could be gone. Sort of like "he's gay. I asked myself, and deep down I know I'm not. Cool, whatever. I don't like peanut butter either, but other people like it. No big deal."

 

I'm saying that using those differences as a way to separate ourselves is at issue. At our fundamental level, all people are the same. We may have differening personalities, skin colors, etc. But, we are all human, a genetic or personality quirk away from being someone else.

Allowing those differences to determine who you like or don't like, especially when it is based on a single characteristic, is, in and of itself, a prejudice.

I'm not saying we all don't have them. I'm just saying that it should be something we all work to eliminate, not foster.

 

I knew you would come around to agreeing with me on racial quotas and hate-crime legislation eventually.

 

I was always a homophobe. Gays would just terrify me to death. When I would be walking down a street at night I used to picture these gays just running up and chasing me. Man I would get scared.

I remember one year when I was at church camp and me and all of the campers were discussing our fears. People were like, "I'm afraid of spiders." or "I'm afraid of dying." Not me. I was all, "Man, I am terrified of gays." They all looked at me like I was crazy. So I explained to them, "Gays are terrifying. They all have razor sharp teeth. At night, when the rest of us are asleep gays grow these long, sharp knife-like talons that they kill people with. And they have that wicked high-pitched howl. They maniacally laugh and cackle. They are horrible. You know all of those missing kids on milk cartons? Daddy told me the gays got them." Then the counselor told me that I was thinking of werewolves and not gays. Boy did I feel stupid. Turns out my dad was mis-informed as well and here we have both been harboring hatred for gays instead of werewolves.

So now I am a homophone. I guess I always have been.

Chants

PS-I freaking hate werewolves. Scary bastards.

 

Transference, fear, guilt.

 

You aren't the only one! One that bugs me is when people who don't know me call me "dude" or "man" because I have long hair. Suddenly, even in business situations, it's like they have to prove that they are cool. Really wierd.

When an attorney says, "Yeah, dude. I know where your comin' from." I'm thinking, "No, you don't or you wouldn't say that!"

 

You forget that I'm a moral relativist. In my world, everything is ok. You could slaughter babies and I'd find moral justification. Because that's just how we liberals are.

 

According to some schools of thought, this is exactly the case. See, abortion.