My mom is trying to pressure me to go on a family vacation with her, my step father, my step sister, my brother-in-law, as well as my step sister's 1 or 2 year old daughter. The trip is for a week to a boring town in Michigan to see my step father's family. They are all really nice people and they even sent me gifts for my recent college graduation. However, I've only met my step father's family on two or three occasions depending on the relative. I really don't want to go on the trip for several reasons... 1.) I don't want to drive from Oklahoma to Michigan in a van with everyone (especially the young child who can be a real brat and will undoubtedly get restless on such a long trip.) 2.) I don't want to miss a week of work considering I'm saving up money to go on a trip to Las Vegas (my favorite vacation spot) before my 1st year of law school starts. I would return from Michigan about 5 days before I'd go to Vegas...thus I'd have to ask off for an entire week and then 4 or 5 days to go to Vegas. I don't think that would fly well with the bosses considering I'm new. Plus I'd be spending money that I need to go to Vegas (if I even save enough to go). 3.) I'm 22 and for an entire week my daily activities would depend on what my mom and (most importantly) her husband want to do. I'd have no car and they wouldn't let me take out their van for long stretches at a time...Besides, it's one of those gigantic 15 passenger vans, so I'm not sure It would be a great vehicle to just go out in. I would be entirely without internet access for a week. I would have no privacy and would be sleeping in a living room floor with multiple people. 4.) I really like the family that we'd be visiting, but it's not exactly like we are really close. My mom and her husband got married when I was 12 and I've met these people two or three times....I'd be more than willing to go visit if this were a 2 or 3 day visit -- but an entire week...Even when I was much younger i got sick of the trip after a couple of days...this would drive me insane. Also--there are no other people that I'd be visiting even CLOSE to my own age for me to hang out with...think a bunch of 50, 60, 70, and 80 year olds... ...Anyways--my mom keeps hounding me about this trip and I don't really know what to say to her, I keep stalling on giving an answer. She says things like "I think this might be the last time we get to see everyone in Michigan while they are in good health. If you go, I promise I won't ever pressure you to go again..." Considering I don't want to make this trip--what do I tell her without being a complete jerk? Am I wrong here? Am I being totally selfish?
Tell mom your new job won't let you off enough time. Since you would really like to go so much you are going to have to fly up to join them a day or two after they get there and you will have to fly back a bit early, too.
Sorry but I got your family's back on this one. Sometimes you just have to be a team player and do things that suck. Thats life, and when you have a family of your own you will understand. Bailing out makes you look selfish - and you don't want your family to think that. Take your iPod and a portable DVD player and everything should be fine....
You've given enough reasons not to go. I've been in the same situation as you. I ended up going at the time. Of course, I didn't have a Vegas trip planned. If you don't want to go and you have no problem with the guilt of not seeing people one last time before they kick the bucket, ask your mom why this had to take place so close to a trip you had already planned. Telling your mom that your company might have a problem with extended time off is not unreasonable.
Don't lie about it because they will know you are lying and see right through it. If you don't want to go, just tell them the truth. At least they will appreciate the honesty and that you are man enough to do that. I bet they will understand and if not, its just too bad. They will get over it I'm sure.
The only thing that you said that applied to my family was the last sentence. Being honest and forthcoming doesn't always yield positive results.
You are 22 years old. Be a man, just say no. Sometimes you have to set your own course in life and break the umbelical chord, this is one of those times. Explain that you are not a kid anymore and have to choose when and where to take your vacations. Or, if you are feeling really guilty, then just fly up there for the weekend, just do a couple of days and fly back. That way you avoid the van trip which sounds really bad for a 22 year old.....REALLY BAD !! Family vacations end after High school, and pick back up again when people have their own families. Just say no to the Griswald's after High school. DD
Tell them you can't go not simply because you have a trip planned, but because that particular week at work is a very bad time to take off. Then, buy a thoughtful and reasonably expensive gift basket to send to the family's house that you would be staying at with a handwritten note attached stating how sorry you are that you could not make it. Stay home and score major points with everybody, even if your mother's first impression is negative.
Sounds like another solid plan. But at the end of the day, you have to reach down and check to see if you have a pair. DD
You're 22 years old and going on family vacations with your mom and dad is still an expectation? You got bigger issues than just the vacation. Tell them, "Thanks but I'd rather stay at home and take these aluminum cans to the recycling center this weekend." Unless your still living at home with said mom and dad.
Exactly my thoughts. At 22, I had both of my kids and owned my own home. Mommy and Daddy didn't dictate where I went and what I did. I think it is silly to lie about it. It should begin and end with, "I appreciate the offer but I do not care to go." You don't need any excuses period.
Tell them you have mono.. How could they prove you are lying? And then the following week, the mono could be "in remission".
If they ask you to prove it, say, "Okay, if you insist," lick your lips, then lean in like you're going to try making out with them.
you can do what i did about 5 years ago and go out and get nice and drunk the night before, take some xanax, not go to bed until 3, get woken up at 5 (7am flight), pack up, head out to the car only to find your cousin isn't going, flip out on the folks and make a big scene because said cousin isn't going, run inside, go back to bed, wake up around noon having absolutely no recollection of the mornings previous events, try to figure out why you aren't on a plane on your way to cancun, check voicemail of your mom telling you the flight got delayed until 11:30and you still have time to make it only then to realize you royally f*cked up but cant remember ****. not that i have any experience with that sort of thing.
Tell her it would take too much time, but offer a middle-ground. You'll fly up for the weekend if someone can pick you up at the airport, drop you back off at the airport for the trip home. This way, everyone is happy. You are part of the trip, but not the worst part (the drive), and it doesn't screw up you taking off too much time at work and/or losing too much missed money opportunity.
