BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?" ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-b imbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer. FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone number. ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself. DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8 hours!
