so i work IT at private company and a significant portion of the general workforce are part time college students. Basically 18-24 somethings. So there this one girl that I am interested in but not sure how to go about trying to get to know her better out of work. The few outside of work parties i have went to she did not attend unfortunately. Now the problem is that while I am not a "manager" i am one of two people in the IT dept (my boss being the other and CIO) and have access to and control more information than anyone else outside of my boss. When I was hired I was told that I have to be wary about my office relationships because of the amount of trust and control invested in me and because of my age (i'll be 25 later this year) i could be very well susceptible to being influenced by the other workers there because they are around my age. I've been at this company a year now and I have kept pretty low, established relationships with a good portion of the company and while i've thought of trying to ask out many a girl that work there before i've kept a bit mum. this one girl though has a killer smile and makes me laugh everytime we talk (probably the two biggests + in my book) anyways I am thinking about asking her out but not making it so anyone knows right away. Since she is part time she isnt there everyday but any advice? Oh i did have another convo with my boss about it and he said that he has no problem with me asking but if any girl i asked said no then i have to leave it at that and not further pursue and not to do it frequently otherwise that would cause problems. but he also said that he strongly suggests i not try to get to know someone at work, even if its a part timer. (which pisses me off to high hell because i am almost 95.6% sure that he is pankying it up with our HR lady and he is married too!) any one had success with this sort of tomfoolery and can help me with any ideas on how to ask her out while making it seem i am not asking her out when i am at the office.
You're going to have to post a picture of her (full body shot, please) in order for us to give you an accurate response. In the meantime, I suggest you watch this instructional video about dealing with interoffice dating. Good luck. <embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/61437/harrasment_at_work.swf" width="400" height="345" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed><br><font size = 1><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/61437/harrasment_at_work/">Harrasment At Work</a> - <a href='http://www.metacafe.com/'>The funniest videos are a click away</a></font>
Threaten to bring down the network, unless she agrees to go out with you. That is some real pressure.
Here is you ticket in! You say this girl always makes you laugh, so obviously the two of you are friendly, so that will help with this scenario. Find a situation, any situation, where you are joking around and make a bet with her (it helps if you lose the bet). The stakes, loser has to buy dinner, lunch, tickets to a show, etc. and presto, you have yourself an unofficial date. I hope this helps.
The bet idea isn't bad. Try and do something low key and low pressure so that she will have no problem saying yes. If at all possible ask at a time when you guys are having a good conversation and a good time. Maybe mention favorite ice creams or desserts or whatever in the conversation then suggest going to grab that thing some time.
I would just start with lunch. Just act like you are leaving the office for lunch and ask if she wants to grab a bite. The approach has to be real casual though. Don't use too many words.
clearly the original post said i will be 25 later this year, thus i am 24 right now. was a tad hungover this morning when i wrote this, but the gist of it all was there. the lunch idea isnt that bad of an idea, the problem with that is that since she is a part timer she usually works in 4-5 hours shifts without a lunch break as for G.O.A.T idea i think that happened in a seinfeld episode but that actually may not be a bad idea at all. its worth trying. as for my calculations i dont like saying i am 99% sure so i always say 95.6% most of the time i use it to change the way the conversation is going because the other person stops to think about why i said 95.6% and then i am in the clear temporarily and gives me some time to weasel my way out for reals. if anyone else has a suggestion i am all ears,
I think this is key. Also key is getting you drunk. Throw a party at your house. Invite over all of your friends. Casually say to her hay im havin a party this weekend you have to come. make up some reason why you are having the party, can be lame or cool whatev doesnt really matter. Drink alot at the party, play beer pong flip cup or something. If the vibe is right try to hook it up then and there, if not you will at least then have some history of hanging out outside of work that you can build upon.
It's not rocket science (or is it???). The more pressure you put on yourself, the more difficult it will be. Just ask her out to lunch, dinner, movie, sex at your place after work....whatever you feel like when the conversation is going well. Girls like guys who are confident. If you can't muster up enough confidence to find a way to get her on a date....you don't deserve to sleep with her.
Just time your break with when she is getting off or something. And mention that you were headed out to grab a lunch, or snack or whatever. Ask if she wants to go, and if not act like it is no big deal. That way if something happens great, and if not, you can say that it isn't like you were asking her on a real date or anything, so that you won't have a tough time with the dating at work issue.
Well... your boss would probably rather you not pursue a co-worker because that leaves the company open for sexual harrassment suits. Anyways, I don't see whats so hard about striking up a conversation and inviting her for a casual meeting. Keep it light and casual. Not like a formal date or anything. She should have no problems with that, as long as you play it cool. With that said, it seems like you're already head over heels for this girl. I suggest you get control of your feelings first, before you ask her to hang out/go out, because girls can sense desperation a mile away.
