The title is pretty self explanatory. I'm not gonna go into gory detail about it, but here's the essentials: we met, she was in a pretty bad place. I restored her confidence in herself, both her in her looks and intelligence, and was basically a saint to her the whole time. We were planning on getting married in 6 months-ish, but one day she loves me, next day she ends it because she's "not ready for a long-term relationship," and promptly gets together with another guy. Basically she used me and then tossed me aside. This is the only truly serious relationship I was ever in, and I pretty much want to punch a wall at the thought of her sleeping with someone else. The advice I need is basically how to cope. I can't think of anything to cheer me up right now. Some of you know already that my back is in BAD shape, so I can't even go running (would jar things) or swimming (I might pass out because of nausea from the pain, and have no one to supervise me), which are what I really want to do. And my two best friends both just lost their jobs and so decided to take a vacation in Canada, so I don't even have them. This is all like a bad dream to me. Oh, and fair warning: I'm not the sleeping around type. So don't bother suggesting that, however well-intentioned it might be.
Wow, that's seriously harsh. Do you have the time and money to join your friends up in Canada? Getting away would probably do some good.
were you the rebound guy? gotta be careful of that. I generally don't post in relationship threads but it does sound horrible. but time heals all wounds
pick up bodybuilding. seriously. it's the best way to channel your emotions and agression into something productive and goal oriented. you will improve yourself and your self esteem (which is no doubt in the drain after such a tragic experience) and come to the realization you're too good for people like her who treat you like trash. you will then get over her and move on with your life.
Thread in 5 years: [Help Coping] My arm exploded <object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sj3De6s3ZjQ"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sj3De6s3ZjQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
my step mom left my dad a week before Father's Day. she bought a flight to Ohio to "visit family" and called him the next day saying, "uh, sorry but I'm not coming back." i don't know how this helps you but they say misery loves company. btw, i assume you're under 25? the sooner she's out of yoru life the better. look at it this, at least she left you BEFORE getting married. she saved you more of a headache and whatever money you would have spent on a house and wedding. just trying to find the bright side.
I think you'll learn from all of this since you got with the wrong type of girl. She needs someone to help her feel better about herself. How would she feel after 9 months of pregnancy and 30+ pounds from a baby? This girl is an emotional wreck and youre better off without her. This she-monkey has to grab a hold of one branch before she can let go of another. But the first thing you can do is get your mind off of it. Get out of town. Don't put yourself in a position to just sit there and mope alone. If you have family or friends in a close city, get in the car and just go. If thats not an option, just constantly keep your mind occupied by going to the movies or reading somewhere (not at home). Love is a chemical inbalance in the brain. A break up, to your brain, is the equivalent to someone dying. It's painful and it blows. Fortunately, nobody is dead here. Go enjoy the relationships in your life that truly matter (family and friends), focus on yourself (health and career), and everything else will pan out eventually. You're just gonna come back stronger from all of this.
Nah, Sacramento. I just barely might... only problem is I'm the project leader for a library computerization project that deadlines in less than two months. They may be jobless, but I'm not. Tried going to Vegas once. Hated it. I'm a little too conservative to appreciate it, I think. Really? Because that would at least be interesting. I wish. My back prevents me from doing that. All kinds of doctors have been trying to get my back right for years, and it's at one of the worst points it's ever been right now. I'm frequently nauseous, and my back is even somehow putting pressure on my bladder so I have to pee twice as often as normal. I'm in no shape to lift weights. Very sorry to hear that. And yes, I'm a younger guy. She just seemed perfect for me in just about every way, big and small alike. But yes, I suppose you're right about it being good that we weren't married first. Hadn't even given that part much thought, honestly. Thanks. Yes, indeed true.
Don't hang out on forums and/or by yourself... seriously. Hang out with friends whenever you can. If you've got good friends, they won't mind you hangin' out all the time, either. lol. I like cabbage's idea about lifting weights... release any frustration or anger building up on those things - otherwise you may eventually do it on somebody innocent. Wish I could help more, but ah well, all I can say is good luck man.
Consider yourself lucky for not entering an unstable marriage. You're young. You have no attachment to her besides your emotions. It hurts right now, it hurts like the worst thing in the world. She punched you in the stomach and all you can think about is the pain. Time will eventually heal your wound. You will move on, slowly but surely. There is no "coping" remedy. There is only one day at a time. You are a smart young man with a bright future. This is a minor setback that one day you will look back on and faintly recall the heartache. Carpe Diem.
Well, we weren't planning on having kids anytime soon, but yeah, I suppose we were going to down the line. As I said to someone else, I can't just leave... I have a project on a deadline that needs to get done. I would try going to movies a lot, but sitting in a straight-backed chair for extended periods is bad for my back, so that's not necessarily wise. But yeah, I should read something... that occurred to me a few days ago and I just kinda forgot about it for some reason. Now I just need to figure out what to read... Thanks for the reassurances. I mostly just wish my family/friends were around right now, but they're not. Thanks. Like I said, weights and friends notsomuch an option right now. Thanks. I didn't THINK there were really any easy ways to get over this, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try. By the way... it occurs to me that someone actually told me in a thread about this same girl years back that I should stay away from someone with so much trauma in their past, that it would come back to bite me. Props to whoever that was, because they were right.
I have a friend whose former fiancee backed out of their wedding a week before the ceremony. He was devastated. Then, he picked himself off the floor and went about his life. And now, I'm proud to say, he's about to marry a girl who's 10x better than the b**** who left him. (And yes, this one is going to go through with the ceremony...) Just hang in there, dude. It'll all work out.
F$%^ that b!tch, you don't need her man, Being single gives you time to attack your greatest goals and ambitions. everything happens for a reason.........
