Man ... what a week this has been. Nobody cares, but I feel like I'm emotionally drained. First, the good news. I got confirmation in the mail for my brand, spankin new Nissan 350Z ... orange exterior, black interior ... loaded! I was sooooo very happy. Got my confirmation Monday ... but since then its all been downhill. Now the baddestest ... the lady I've secretly been in love with for the past 17 years got engaged ... completely rocked me. I've known her since I was like 4 ... and we've been best friends, sharing everything, no secrets ... except that I never told her that I liked her like nuts. I always thought she'd be there and when the time was right, I'd ask. I was thinking of going up to Canada this Fall and making it final, but then she calls me yesterday and is all excited and proceeds to tell me that her folks found someone and she agreed to get married. Wow ... I am sooooooo freakin depressed now ... can't sleep, can't eat ... I HATE IT! Thanks for reading!
Let this be a lesson to you, gr8-1..........hurry up and take action before something like that happens to you, man! I gotta say, I've learned so much from all these girl-trouble threads.
Arranged marriage huh? Thats crazy. Anyways I know this wont make you feel better rite now, but here is my story. I used to love this chick for about 6 years. She knew it, but I guess I wasn't her type. I asked her out on numerous occasions, but the answer was always the same. I mean for SIX FREAKIN YEARS all I did was think about this girl 24/7. I used to get happy as hell whenever I just saw her. If she talked to me, it was like I could die at that moment and go to heaven. I know it wasn't seventeen years, but man I'm telling you I was an absolute nut. Then I found my present girlfriend and have been going out with her for five years. We are planning on getting married next year. I could not be more happy. I mean she is the perfect girl for me. Being with her makes me realize that I did not truly love the first one. It was just infatuation and I wasted six years of my life. My advice is just to relax and go out and meet some other women. I guarantee when you get together with someone who cares about you as much as you care about her, you will absolutely forget about the first one.
Gosh . . . I'm sorry rockit . . . at least on the female issue. I honestly can't really give advice or anything, but it reminds me of Frasier, with Daphne and Niles. Only, if it were me, I wouldn't say anything. I'd do whatever I can to forget about THAT aspect of the relationship. God knows it's not easy at all, and it can take quite a while. I'd probably try to realize the value of friendship, learn from this experience (the perfect time to say something like this never comes . . . the moment you do say something IS the perfect time because it's being said) and move on. BUT, this is what I'd do, not necessarily what you should do. Also, that's what I say from this distance position. If I were in your shoes, things would be totally different. I've never been in this kind of situation. Somewhat similar, but not like this. Do what your heart prompts you.
Stories like this make everyone say, "Seize the Day"... but when you're personally in the same position, you still don't pull the trigger. My belief nowadays is that when you finally do feel the sense of urgency to pull the trigger, even when you're looking at the prospects of making a fool of yourself, that's when you're truly in love. If you've liked this girl since you were four, that probably means you like her because of convenience and familiarity. I'm not preaching - I've been and sometimes am in the same position. As for Rockets03 -- next year, eh? You don't tell your friends any official dates, but you let it all hang out on clutchcity.net, eh? ) hehehee...
Dude !!! FRICKEN TELL HER !!!! Write a letter to her, call her, go see her.....but at least get it out in the open. What if she feels the same about you? Oh my god, grab your tethered sack and give the girl a call. DaDakota
Move on. As Boston once sang: "Don't Look Back". (I'm starting to think Clutch should put up a RELATIONSHIP section!) os
TELL HER !!! Don't listen to these, No guts, players on here. Heck, once she is married, your relationship with her will end anyway, what have you got to lose? Tell her.....chances are she feels the same as you, and if not, at least it gives you closure. But....WHAT IF SHE FEELS THE SAME? Man, life is too short to not take risks boys.... DaDakota
Well those odds are better then non-arranged marriages for some reason. And yes I agree with Dakota. You have to tell her at least once. Just call her up and tell her exactly how you feel. Who gives a crap if she gives you an answer you dont like. You will know that you at least tried. If you are afraid that it will ruin your friendship, then....... You have to decide, would you rather be just friends or at least go for it once! DO IT! CALL HER RIGHT NOW AND TELL HER! It will get alot of your chest. R0cket104, you dork I told you next year. We just haven't said an exact date yet.
Arranged marriage? Rockit, you gotta hop in that Z and drive up there now and tell her how you feel. I think it woudl be worth it to have a chance to be with her and not lose her to some dork who needed her parents to set up a marriage. If she's such a good friend, I don't think it will ruin your friendship if she says no. Either way, somebody here should make this into a movie script. I could give it a try I guess. Go for it Rockit, tell us what happens, we're all here for you no matter how it goes down.
I`m with DaDakota, tell her how you feel before it`s to late. What do you have to lose????? If you dont tell her now, you will never know what could have been and it will haunt you for many moons to come.
Yeah, but the people who typically have arranged marriages have very strong ideals, one of which being divorce is absolutley WRONG!!! And since they are so intent on keeping with their principles, they will stay in a marriage no matter what. Just because they aren't getting divorced doesn't mean they are happy.
I'm sorry but that sounds pretty pathetic to me. 17 years you've been in love with your best friend and haven't found the courage or moment in all that time to come out and tell her. What did you think was going to happen? If she didn't find someone else, then one of you might have died next. Well, now you have to tell her. Don't look for any reasons not to...your best friend status is out the window once she's married anyway. Your not giving her any choice in the matter. Not to make light of the situation, but this seems like a bad movie(watch "My Best Friend's Wedding"). I don't see you have a choice in the matter...your hand has been forced now and it may be too late anyway. Good luck.
Ummm. I don't see why this has to be true. My advice: First, do a gut check and truly get a grasp of your emotions. Do you really love this girl who lives all the way up in Canada and you probably rarely see, or are you just fooling yourself into thinking you love her becuase you've known her for so long and never thoguht she would get married but now she is? My guess is you really don't know how you feel, and breaking up someone's marriage because your confused is really pretty selfish. Still, though, tell her how you fell and do it in a straightforward manner. Be honest and be prepared for either response. If she still wants to go through the marriage after you tell her how you feel, it doesn't mean your friendship will have to end.
