Paul Rodriguez was on The Best Damned Sports Show Period. He said, "Yeah, J-Lo is beautiful.... but in 10 years that ass is going to be jello..."
Triumph the dog: David Allen Grier-"So tell us about your new sitcom that will be off the air in two months."
"Off the hook" Where is this ****ing hook? Why is everything that is good not somehow attached to the hook? Is it a bad hook? Is it Captain Hook? I wouldn't want to be attached to Dustin Hoffman either, but that is a whole other story. -Raven Lunatic http://bbs.clutchcity.net/php3/showthread.php?s=&threadid=41015
Was Seinfield a successful comic in the show? I always wondered that. He lives in a huge apartment, but I don't recall if he was making money or not?
Actually, it is much more similar to something I heard George Carlin do one time when he was b****ing about people using the phrase "down the tubes." His routine went something like this: "Down the tubes. Everyone is always saying, 'Yeah, the country is going down the tubes.' Where are these tubes? Why is everything always going down the tubes. And...why is there more than one tube? Seems to me, one country, one tube. But no, we have several tubes. So maybe there is a tube for each state. But you would have thought that, by now, if there was a tube somewhere that was big enough for Arizona to go down it, someone would have noticed. 'Hey Bob, look at that big ****in' tube!" I didn't get it exactly right, but that was the basic bit he did. Pretty funny stuff.
he was pretty well off... remember when he bought his dad a cadillac? remember how amazed Elaine was with the fact he was "doing that well..." he drove a BMW and a Saab during the tenure of the show he bought a van from his childhood friend just to keep him from running to the woods, digging a hole, and crying (like the guy did when they were young) he spent money like water... had his kitchen redone and then switched back... basically bought food for 2 people (him and Kramer)... there was that trip when he went to florida to get back the caddy his dad sold to that annoying neighbor in the condos... he flew back and forth from NY to FLA like 4 times in the episode... all in a week... the guy had money and lots of it... you'd think he'd live in a nicer apartment... sorta like the one the people on "Friends" live in...
Back to the topic at hand... "They like it when your balls smell nice, it shows you care." -Dennis Farina, "Sidewalks of New York"
"I used to be a cop. In 1996 I worked narcotics and that year I earned 2.6 million dollars... ...cash." -a recent original
"I just got this new cell phone plan, 6500 minutes...5500 of which are for nights and weekends. This would be great except I'm not a pimp or a vampire! Although I COULD probably get a better signal in a coffin that I can my car. 'This phone sucks!!!' Can you hear me now, can you hear me now..." last one i promise
I dunno if this is funny to others, but I was cracking up in class over this one. In my Calc class in college, our professor was this brainiac Russian (Dr. Brin) who always had something smart to say to any and all students. So we're learning some thing about partial derivatives and he started using the Greek letter eta instead of the regular alpha, gamma etc. So this one kid sheepishly asks the teacher 'where did that symbol come from? what is that?' The teacher turns around and goes 'You don't like it? Guess what, eta doesn't like you either' ... turns back and continues his lecture. It was THE funniest thing ... and now I use that line on people :-D --rockit
Hey PhiSlammaJamma, that whole thing Triumph did at the MTV awards was funny. I caught it on Conan last week. I couldn't stop laughing!!!!!
