This is a disturbing look into the mind of a guy who goes on a shooting spree. Like Choi (the VA-Tech shooter) these guys are basically narcissist who come to see themselves as persecuted by the rest of society and fill themselves with self-pity and anger. Rather than try to improve themselves they take it out on society. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32292246/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts Gym killer leaves dark Web diary, details of plot ‘I chickened out!’ he wrote of same fitness class months before killing 3, self BRIDGEVILLE, Pa. - A man who sprayed bullets into a fitness center class filled with women apparently kept a Web page in which he wrote about years of rejection by women, struggles with alcohol, domineering and bullying family members and an earlier failed shooting attempt. Neighbors described 48-year-old George Sodini as anti-social, and the Web page in his name showcased a resume setting forth his credentials as an unhappy loner. It listed his date of death — Aug. 4, 2009 — and his status of “Never married.” The page ended with the words “Death Lives!” On Tuesday night, the gunman walked into the fitness center, entered a “Latin impact” dance aerobics class and placed a duffel bag on the ground. After pausing a few moments, he took out at least two guns out of the bag and started shooting. Three women were killed and nine people were injured. Police say may have fired as many as 52 shots before turning the gun on himself. “He walked right into the room where the shootings occurred as if he knew exactly where he was going,” Allegheny County police Superintendent Charles Moffatt said. “I think he went in with the idea of doing what he did.” Authorities identified the gunman as Sodini on Wednesday morning. ‘Chickened out’ of earlier attempt The 4,610-word Web page, on a domain registered in Sodini’s name, appeared to be a nine-month chronology of his plans to commit the shooting, his decision to delay it and the process that led to the eventual carnage at the health club Tuesday. Authorities did not immediately confirm that the site belonged to Sodini, but the elaborate nature of the comments so soon after the shootings suggested authenticity. “The biggest problem of all is not having relationships or friends, but not being able to achieve and acquire what I desire in those or many other areas,” said an entry dated Sunday. “Everthing stays the same regardless of the effert I put in. If I had control over my life then I would be happier. But for about the past 30 years, I have not.” The Web site’s author wrote of planning the attack since at least November, and had tried to do it when the same Tuesday-night dance aerobics class he targeted met on Jan. 6. “It is 8:45PM: I chickened out!” he wrote. “I brought the loaded guns, everything. Hell!” The violence rocked the suburban Pittsburgh town of about 5,300 residents some eight miles southwest of downtown Pittsburgh. ‘I seen him pull out the guns’ Joann Gazzam, a member of the weekly “Latin impact” dance aerobics class, saw the gunman walk to the back of the room near some weights, set down a bag and fumble with it for a few minutes before coming up with what appeared to be two guns and opening fire, according to her sister, Debi Wozniak, of suburban Dormont. Gazzam told Wozniak that the instructor was among those who appeared to have been shot, and that the gunman had killed himself. “She told me, ’Debi, I seen everything. Oh, my God, I seen everything. I seen him pull out the guns,”’ said Wozniak, who usually attends the class ever Tuesday from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. but was running late and didn’t make it. Police say the shooting happened about 8:15 p.m. The clean-shaven gunman walked in the room wearing workout gear, turned off the lights and, at first nobody knew what was happening, said Stacey Falk, 26, of Bridgeville, who was in the class. “All of us girls were just ducking behind each other and it was just, you know, I was behind a girl, one of the girls in front to get hit, and when he was in the opposite corner shooting, I booked it,” she told WPXI-TV.
His final post was dated Aug. 3, 2009: "I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day. "Unfortunately I talked to my neighbor today, who is very positive and upbeat. I need to remain focused and absorbed COMPLETELY. Last time I tried this, in January, I chickened out. Lets see how this new approach works. "Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them. "I will try not to add any more entries because this computer clicking distracts me. "Also, any of the "Practice Papers" left on my coffee table I used or the notes in my gym bag can be published freely. I will not be embarased, because, well, I will be dead. Some people like to study that stuff. Maybe all this will shed insight on why some people just cannot make things happen in their life, which can potentially benefit others." More from his blog. http://www.myfoxeugene.com/dpp/news/George_Sodini_Left_Dark_Online_Diary_dpgo_20090805_jst_2837218
Here's more. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090805/ap_on_re_us/us_health_club_shooting_writings_1 Excerpts from blog-style writings on a Web page linked to George Sodini, the man identified as the assailant in shootings at a suburban Pittsburgh health club on Tuesday: "Why do this?? To young girls? Just read below. I kept a running log that includes my thoughts and actions, after I saw this project was going to drag on." ___ Nov. 5, 2008: "November 5, 2008: Planned to do this in the summer but figure to stick around to see the election outcome." ___ Dec. 22, 2008: "Time is moving along. Planned to have this done already. I will just keep a running log here as time passes. Many of the young girls here look so beautiful as to not be human, very edible. After joining this gym, started lifting weights and like it." ___ Dec. 29, 2008: "Just got back from tanning, been doing this for a while. No gym today, my elbow is sore again. I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne — yet 30 million women rejected me — over an 18 or 25-year period. That is how I see it. ... A man needs a woman for confidence. ... This type of life I see is a closed world with me specifically and totally excluded." ___ Dec. 31, 2008: "My anger and rage is largely gone since I began lifting weights. Lifting drains me but I still have energy." ___ Jan. 5, 2009: "Was at the gym to lift. Very crowded. Tomorrow should be good. There is a woman there that gives me a certain look every time I am there. I decided to walk over and make a comment about the crowds but she left when I finished the exercise. Better that I do not get sidetracked from tomorrow's plan anyways. Life is just playing games. ... Every evening I am alone, and then go to bed alone." ___ May 4, 2009: "What is it like to be dead? I always think I am forgetting something, that's one reason I postponed. Similar to when you leave to get in your car to go somewhere - you hesitate with a thought: "what am I forgetting?" ___ May 18, 2009: "I actually had a date today. It was with a woman I met on the bus in March. We got together at Two PPG Place for lunch. The last date for me was May 1, 2008. Women just don't like me. There are 30 million desirable women in the US (my estimate) and I cannot find one." ___ May 29, 2009: "Another lonely Friday night, I'm done. This is too much." ___ Aug. 3, 2009: "I took off today, Monday, and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished. I need to work out every detail, there is only one shot. Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful. I haven't had a drink since Friday at about 2:30. Total effort needed. Tomorrow is the big day."
I hadn't seen those but that is even more disturbing. [rquoter]"Maybe soon, I will see God and Jesus. At least that is what I was told. Eternal life does NOT depend on works. If it did, we will all be in hell. Christ paid for EVERY sin, so how can I or you be judged BY GOD for a sin when the penalty was ALREADY paid. People judge but that does not matter. I was reading the Bible and The Integrity of God beginning yesterday, because soon I will see them. [/rquoter] I'm not even Christian and I can already tell that that is a probably a profound misunderstanding of Christianity.
I hadn't heard the 'just put it on Jesus's tab' line of thinking either. What a disturbing read overall.
one look at his picture and skimming through that blog of his shouts of his fear and hatred of his own sexuality. how can he not know why women aren't attracted to him?
"Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man... June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next. A long continuous chain. Then suddenly, there is a change. "
Reminds me of this: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CJE2GpF9Ohc&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CJE2GpF9Ohc&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
"Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29)." on second thought, maybe he was gay.... he couldve paid for sex, if he was going crazy about it
he hadn't had sex in 20 years and talked about how his dad and brother bullied him and never understood him through the years. explained his hatred for women, went from hating God and his church pastor to wanting to be with Jesus. a completely miserable and suffering human being who was not able to come out to even himself... no one else is reading it this way? I'm sure the experts will soon come up with this theory...
There really are no ways to avoid these tragedies, are there? http://www.phawker.com/2009/08/05/hot-document-diary-of-a-madman/ full blog
I didn't. His hatred for women sounds like mommy issues . I would think it difficult to get close to a woman if your ideal (mother) is a target for your anger and bitterness. Like.... his mother should have protected him from his Father and brother. I would bet he wasn't an alpha male, but I think someone that self aware with 20 years to think about it would have figured out if he was gay.
That's possible but there are other explanations. Choi had a hatred of women too and was bullied but there was no indication that he was a closeted gay. Also just not getting sex might not be an indication that he is gay but just that he has some very anti-social tendencies.
20 years of suffering and self loathing will do that to a single man... a physically fit 155 lb. 48 year old who hasn't had sex with a woman since 1990... expresses his hatred of women, then wonders why they aren't attracted to him. hates church, religion, Christians, and his pastor (whom he references often) yet proclaims he wants to be with God and Jesus. describes his brother and father as bullies who never understood him and made him feel inadequate around women.
