I would like to request the advice of the BBS on how to handle a situation at work. I work in a very quiet hallway. My neighbor in the office next to me is a secretary who has very little to do during the day. Some days she does nothing at all. She is complete dead weight and I’m not happy she even has a job here. Her salary and benefits are a waste of money and they detract from the bonus pool for the employees who contribute to the firm. This woman next to me chews gum throughout the entire day. When she is bored (virtually 7.5 hours out of 8) she smacks the gum. The gum smacking is clearly audible from my office as well as the office on the other side of the secretary. This gum smacking annoys me on a couple of levels. First of all, it is completely rude and indicative of poor manners. Just as one would eat with their mouth closed, one should also chew gum with their mouth closed. Smacking noises are muted with one’s mouth closed. These smacking noises are extremely loud and therefore she is chewing gum with her mouth open. Second, gum smacking does not occur when one is occupied mentally. The fact that she mindlessly stares at her computer, to the point where she is incapable of recognizing the fact that she is generating significant noise with her gum appalls me. This woman is so utterly useless that she should feel guilty cashing her paycheck. Solutions: I have brainstormed in an effort to come up with possible solutions to eliminate this problem. Recognizing that I have to work next to this woman and do not want open hostility to break out, here are my initial ideas: 1. Walk into her office and in a pleasant manner tell her to please be mindful of the noise she generates while chewing gum. 2. Walk into her office and ask if she has been hearing a “clicking” noise. Ask her where that noise could possibly be coming from. This will alert her that I can hear her gum smacking, provided that she can put two and two together (which is by no means a certainty) 3. Have a loud conversation on the phone with a third party in which I complain about people chewing their gum loud. She will overhear the conversation and hopefully take corrective action. 4. Wait until she leaves the office (typically at 4:59pm each day) and go into her office and remove all gum. This will require going through her desk. My fear is that she keeps the gum in her purse, however. 5. Put an anonymous sign in her chair that says “NO GUM”. I fear that she will know who put the sign there. 6. Continue closing my door when the smacking commences. This unfortunately gives the signal that I am not in my office, however. I do not feel like I should have to adjust based on her rudeness. 7. Ask the person who offices on the other side of the secretary whether they can hear the smacking. Work out a joint solution with that person. Are there any other socially acceptable solutions to this problem?
10. You could always send her an email with bogus study saying that gum chewing is bad for your health.
11. You could politely tell her you are working on your Masterpiece post for the BBS and inform her that her gum asmacking is screwing up your concentration. 12. Punch her in the mouth, tell her no more gum chewing byotch, and then scream "Case Closed" right in her face.
I don't know what you do without looking like the "evil-doer". How about sticking some chewed gum on her chair and then she will sit in it and get all chewy. That will teach her. I have a similar problem but it is more infrequent. Somewhere...somehow...people decided it was okay to store their finger nail clippers at work and clip nails when they need to. So, it seems to have spread around several cubicles. When it starts, you get that awful biting sound of someone clipping their nails. I have even seen people take it as far as taking off their shoes and socks to clip their toe nails. I think it is completely disgusting for people to clip their nails at work. I will never understand or agree with how anyone can do that. Clip your nails in the privacy of your own damn home. Whatever reason you have for clipping nails at work...it just isn't good enough. I have the mindset to go around to these people's cubicles and take their clippers from their desk drawers. But, I'm too nice to do that. So, I put up with it. But, it is the grossest sound and I believe one of the grossest things done at work. RANT OFF....
I'm the most non-confrontational person (outside of this BBS) that I've ever met, and I have no idea why asking her politely to stop shouldn't be the easiest and most socially acceptable thing to do. It's not that hard and there's a good chance that she doesn't realize she's doing it.
ROFL!!! Surfguy, my coworkers have recently started to do that. It bugs me as well. I think it's f*ckin' disgusting. The problem is the people who are doing it, are my bosses!! What's worse, is they share the nail clipper.
Where do you work out of curiousity? 13. You can send one of those anonymous emails from a website like www.sinceresuggestions.com or something like that. 14. Bring in a recorder, put it under her desk, record, and playback the next day in a loop. 15. Chew some gum, put it in her chair so when she sits down it gets all over her. Traumatized, she never chews gum again. 16. Write "Die Gum Lady" over and over in different colors on different sheets of paper and scatter them around her desk.
Actually, one would have to scream "MOUTH CLOSED" right in her face. Anyway, while Baqui's suggestion seems like (another) non-sequitor involving butt sex, I think he's on to something. The gum-smacking noises are creating an opportunity for T_J's unconscious to speak with his conscious, alerting him to long suppressed needs. The smacking, in its corporeal, fleshy nastiness, represents intimacy. This is, in short, an opportunity for the unconscious to scream "confront this need!" and perturb the normally closed off, linear conscious world of T_J. My sincere suggestion is pscyhotherapy, perhaps even analysis, effective immediately.
Oh yeah, I lost touch with reality there for a second . Anyway just go with #1. She probably doesn't even realize she's doing it or that is bothering anyone. CK P.S.- My wife used to do the same thing and I finally had to ask her to stop and she did not even notice that it was loud.
TJ, seriously, you should keep some headphones at your desk if this is becoming too much of a nuisance.
Walk into her office, stick your hand in her mouth and YANK the gum out. If she INSISTS that she must have something in her mouth during the day, tell her that you can suggest something to put in there...
This must be a disgusting epidemic. I had a co-worker who would clip her toe nails and try to hit me with them. It was extremely gross. She actually got a diverse pleasure out of sickening me out to the point that I would just get up and leave the laboratory.
Wow, she does all of that. She should get a raise and a bonus...years supply of gum. Maybe she hates that you leave your door open, so she smacks her gum to annoy you on purpose in hopes that you'll close the door. This lady is crazy man.
