My stomach is completely tied in knots. My ex-girlfriend who I dated once for 4 years and another time for 1 year is calling me again. She's not talking about getting back together or anything she just wants to be talk and see each other from time to time. I don't know if that's the real reason or not. A little history - She was my first true love and we were together for about 4 years (I was 18 and she was 16 when we started dating). Long story short there is she broke up to start dating another guy (she claims she never cheated on me but they did kiss). She married this guy and I had no contact with her for about two years. Then out of the blue I get an e-mail saying she's getting a divorce and moving back to Houston. Well I had just moved back here from Atlanta also. I wrote her back and we started talking. We ended up getting back together. We'll about a year ago now she broke up with me again saying she thinks we got back together because it was comfortable. I was again heartbroken (although not as bad as the first time which I took really hard). She said she still wanted to remain friends. I was not one to go for that and decided it best for me if I just cut all ties. She called me once or twice during that period when she would see me driving down the road and would ask how I was doing. Yesterday she calls out of the blue and during the conversation she mentions that she just broke up with a jerk. (She had not mentioned even dating someone in our previous conversations). They broke up about a week ago and they were together for about 9 months. She wanted to know if I'll ever come around again. Because I previously had told hew no to all meeting invitations. I again told her no. But this time I don't know if I should. Now I'm currently with someone and things are going good but the feeling I get in my stomach every time I talk to her....well let's just say there might still be something there. What would you guys do?
I wouldn't talk to her, especially if you're happy in the relationship. I'm currently in a new relationship and I really, really like this girl. Sure, I think of my ex sometimes and even want to e-mail her, but I've finally moved on and I know if I try to make contact again, my stomach will do the same thing your's is doing. That's a natural reaction to someone you've spent so much time with and shared so much with. My advice is to let it go.
Come on, man. She's using you. You are her perpetual REBOUND. Sounds like she's afraid to be alone and she knows that you'll always be there...until she meets someone else. Move on. *Cue the "pooper" posts...
I would keep the door open for many years and cause myself considerable amounts of emotion anguish and also shatter any chance of ever getting into a meaningful relationship with any other woman. But that's just me.
What he said. This is the part that gets me: "she thinks we got back together because it was comfortable." For her. She went back to you because she broke up with someone else and needed someone confortable. Now, she's doing it again, except this time you aren't actually available. Don't have anything to do with her. That is, until you break up with your girlfriend -- give her a call then and see if she still wants to be your friend.
Regale her with tales of how you brought Albert Pujols to Houston. Tell her she will only be worthy of calling you if she turns the Tampa Bay Devil Rays into winners. Refuse to drop the subject. She will soon cease to be a problem. Seriously though, it really does sound like a rebound type of thing. The best thing for you would be to just forget about her. Easy to say, right? If you can't do that, I do think it's possible to be friends with an ex-girlfriend, at least in my experience. The deal with that, though, is that you absolutely have to make it completely clear to her and yourself that all you will be is friends. That'd be the key, if you wanted to go that route. But it'd be best to just forget about her. Try that first. G'lucko Bucko
Yea, what he said. Also, ima brings up a good point. Good luck. How I don't miss those times. Maybe it is because I'm still single and have slowly come to peace with that.
Buck - Get back with her and then "accidently" leave out a videotape of you doing the deed for 4 hours straight.
Thanks guys...I'm still torn. I'm leaning toward meeting her for lunch one day as we both work downtown. It's not like I'm calling her...she's calling me. It's just lunch and maybe I need this to move on once and for all. I don't want to ever wonder "what if".
How many times are you going to let her leave you hanging? You're going to end up messing up a good relationship. Why did you even bother asking if you knew what you were going to do anyways?
The only 'what if' you should be worrying about is......What if she hadnt dropped my ass 2 times already? One time to be with another man....... or...... What if I get back with her and lose my current interesting girl and she ends up leaving me again? Dont take that the wrong way man. I know you must be confused....this is what I would think.
