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Guardian: Where are you Booth and Oswald, now that we need you?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by basso, Oct 23, 2004.

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  1. basso

    basso Member
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    From the excreable british paper the guardian, reason enough to vote for bush, if only because it'll piss so many people like this off.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,1333748,00.html

    --
    Dumb show

    Charlie Brooker
    Saturday October 23, 2004
    The Guardian

    Heady times. The US election draws ever nearer, and while the rest of the world bangs its head against the floorboards screaming "Please God, not Bush!", the candidates clash head to head in a series of live televised debates. It's a bit like American Idol, but with terrifying global ramifications. You've got to laugh.

    Or have you? Have you seen the debates? I urge you to do so. The exemplary BBC News website (www.bbc.co.uk/news) hosts unexpurgated streaming footage of all the recent debates, plus clips from previous encounters, through Reagan and Carter, all the way back to Nixon versus JFK.

    Watching Bush v Kerry, two things immediately strike you. First, the opening explanation of the rules makes the whole thing feel like a Radio 4 parlour game. And second, George W Bush is... well, he's... Jesus, where do you start?

    The internet's a-buzz with speculation that Bush has been wearing a wire, receiving help from some off-stage lackey. Screen grabs appearing to show a mysterious bulge in the centre of his back are being traded like Top Trumps. Prior to seeing the debate footage, I regarded this with healthy scepticism: the whole "wire" scandal was just wishful thinking on behalf of some amateur Michael Moores, I figured. And then I watched the footage.

    Quite frankly, the man's either wired or mad. If it's the former, he should be flung out of office: tarred, feathered and kicked in the nuts. And if it's the latter, his behaviour goes beyond strange, and heads toward terrifying. He looks like he's listening to something we can't hear. He blinks, he mumbles, he lets a sentence trail off, starts a new one, then reverts back to whatever he was saying in the first place. Each time he recalls a statistic (either from memory or the voice in his head), he flashes us a dumb little smile, like a toddler proudly showing off its first bowel movement. Forgive me for employing the language of the playground, but the man's a tool.

    So I sit there and I watch this and I start scratching my head, because I'm trying to work out why Bush is afforded any kind of credence or respect whatsoever in his native country. His performance is so transparently bizarre, so feeble and stumbling, it's a miracle he wasn't laughed off the stage. And then I start hunting around the internet, looking to see what the US media made of the whole "wire" debate. And they just let it die. They mentioned it in passing, called it a wacko conspiracy theory and moved on.

    Yet whether it turns out to be true or not, right now it's certainly plausible - even if you discount the bulge photos and simply watch the president's ridiculous smirking face. Perhaps he isn't wired. Perhaps he's just gone gaga. If you don't ask the questions, you'll never know the truth.

    The silence is all the more troubling since in the past the US news media has had no problem at all covering other wacko conspiracy theories, ones with far less evidence to support them. (For infuriating confirmation of this, watch the second part of the must-see documentary series The Power Of Nightmares (Wed, 9pm, BBC2) and witness the absurd hounding of Bill Clinton over the Whitewater and Vince Foster non-scandals.)

    Throughout the debate, John Kerry, for his part, looks and sounds a bit like a haunted tree. But at least he's not a lying, s******ing, drink-driving, selfish, reckless, ignorant, dangerous, backward, drooling, twitching, blinking, mouse-faced little cheat. And besides, in a fight between a tree and a bush, I know who I'd favour.

    On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses. And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all. The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us. John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?
     
    #1 basso, Oct 23, 2004
  2. Htownhero

    Htownhero Member

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    Voting to piss people off? Wow, thats a great freakin idea. Forget issues and wussy crap like that, lets just be a dick!

    BRING IT ON WORLD!
     
    #2 Htownhero, Oct 23, 2004
  3. Ender120

    Ender120 Member

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    While I believe that advocating the assassination of Bush is a bit much (in spite of my intense dislike for him), you have to admit that the rest of the article addresses issues that should be addressed.

    Was he wearing a wire?

    Does the rest of the world fear Bush's reelection?
     
    #3 Ender120, Oct 23, 2004
  4. MR. MEOWGI

    MR. MEOWGI Contributing Member

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    I'd rather vote to piss people like you off. :p
     
    #4 MR. MEOWGI, Oct 23, 2004
  5. Nolen

    Nolen Member

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    LOL!!!! :D
     
    #5 Nolen, Oct 23, 2004
  6. Dream Sequence

    Dream Sequence Member

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    It is kind of messed up that he's calling for the assassination of a leader....
     
    #6 Dream Sequence, Oct 23, 2004
  7. AggieRocket

    AggieRocket Member

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    I want Bush to lose more than anyone else. I cannot stand the guy. I think he lied to the nation about Iraq and he is a bumbling idiot.

    That being said, this article is totally out of line. This is why the Brits get no respect from anyone. It is absolutely in poor taste to even suggest that our President needs to be assasinated. Defeated in election, yes. But killed!!! The Guardian is run by a bunch of fools. That's my only explanation for something some appalling.
     
    #7 AggieRocket, Oct 23, 2004
  8. Preston27

    Preston27 Member

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    So that's what happens when Michael Moore goes to the restroom, this comes out.
     
    #8 Preston27, Oct 23, 2004
  9. Doctor Robert

    Doctor Robert Member

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    I'm not commenting on the article. It would be a waste of time and energy to even debate such a ridiculous comment.

    First of all, I didn't know that the Brits don't get any respect. They are one of the five permanent members of the Security Council. They are the United States greatest and most loyal ally. If they are lacking in respect it would not be because of their criticism of President Bush. It would be because of their unwavering political and military support for the Iraqi war.

    ...well, that and their cooking.
     
    #9 Doctor Robert, Oct 23, 2004
  10. GreenVegan76

    GreenVegan76 Member

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    With the exception of the obviously tongue-in-cheek Booth reference, I think this article is spot-on.

    The world hates Bush. Two years ago, he inspired the single biggest world-wide protest in world history. This, after the global community rallied behind our great country after the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. That's one hell of an opinion shift.

    We can write off those opinions all we want, but hatred rarely builds a strong coalition. Maybe that's why more than 90 percent of the dead "coalition" soldiers in Iraq are American. Even super powers need friends.
     
    #10 GreenVegan76, Oct 23, 2004
  11. francis 4 prez

    francis 4 prez Member

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    .


    that and using the word "unexpurgated" for no apparent reason.


    although i will say in the 4 days i was in london, it seemed to be a cool city and all the people seemed to be cool, too, so i ain't got nothin' against the brits. although i will say no matter how much you hear the accent it still feels like they're making it up.


    oh, and i also support the idea of voting to piss people off. despite being only slightly pro-bush (and mostly because i'm pro-life, pro-business, and pro-"**** the UN") i really wanna see him win just to see the meltdown and despair of this board. global ramifications be damned.
     
    #11 francis 4 prez, Oct 23, 2004
  12. francis 4 prez

    francis 4 prez Member

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    the world rallied behind us much the same way the country rallied behind bush and gave him 90% approval ratings. it was false "united against a common enemy for a brief moment" support that meant nothing long term on the political landscape and i know you know that.


    now it is a little disturbing that the world has stopped hating us like the yankees and lakers (because we're the best, always get all the calls, have more money, and we always are the lead on the news/sportscenter) and started to hate us like the jazz (because they feel we're flopping, cheating bastards) and even though i know it's gotten to the point of irrational steve francis hatred where bush will be blamed for anything and hated for anything at this point, that's really the only reason i'd like to see kerry elected. so the irrationality will go away and they'll go back to hating us like the yankees. but then again, pissing people off is fun so maybe i don't want kerry to win for that reason.
     
    #12 francis 4 prez, Oct 23, 2004
  13. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    what does he suggest for Tony Blair?

    Rocket River
     
    #13 Rocket River, Oct 23, 2004
  14. giddyup

    giddyup Member

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    It's this kind of thinking that had me considering voting for someone other than Bush, but in the end I chose not to.
     
    #14 giddyup, Oct 24, 2004
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