So, I go out with this chick for a dinner... everything is cool. I dont know if she has a boyfriend or not, and so I dont bring up the topic, she asks me do you have a girlfriend, and I reply... no... even though its not true, then i ask her if she has a boyfriend... she says yes. they have been dating for 5 1/2 years, but he lives in another town few hours away. so we have a good night, end up making out. Its 3:30 in the morning, and i ask her if she wants to go up to my room because honestly i was sleepy as hell, drunk as hell, and needed to pass out. I made a point to tell her that it wasnt about sex. so she tells me that she cant because even though i told her i just wanted to sleep, she didnt want to come up because she wanted to have sex. If I pursue her, i think i am digging myself a hole with her. she has a boyfriend, whats the point right? I'm not gonna go around chasing her, but i do like her... she's fine... need your advices. greatly appreciated.
just grow a pair and ask her out. oh... uh... wait you're getting action on the side and this is a big problem? It's a good thing Manny isn't reading the board for a while or you'd be getting called every ass-prefixed name in the book.
Your girlfriend and her boyfriend should get together. sorry, couldn't resist. I guess this is a case of "if you can't be with the one you love (whichever one that is), love the one you're with"? Just don't commit to anybody right now... looks like nobody in this situation is ready to settle down...
Ok, I have a girlfriend, but things are not what they used to be... if you know what I mean, we've grown apart and I want to find another girl. The only problem I have with this is not that i'm getting action "on the side", but that i know if we hook up we'll end up liking each other and i'm gonna have to get in the middle of her and her boyfriends 5 1/2 year relationship, **** that's a long time. But she told me that she is lonely, blah blah blah... and you know she's cool, smart, down to earth, pretty, everything i look for in a girl. i'm hella confused here. i havent called her since Friday night when we hooked up. she wants to go out again, and i'm pretty sure we will. i guess i'll cross the bridge when i get there. So, i mean what should i do?
Well, to start, if you've gone this far in jeopardizing your relationship, then you obviously don't care about it too much, so ditch your current girlfriend. Secondly, after doing that, explain to this girl that you like her, but don't want to come between her relationship. If she likes you enough and thinks it's right, she'll follow suit and do as you did. I just wouldn't go on with the whole cheating (whether you think it is or not) angle...
Let's recap. You made out with and are pursuing a girl that has a very long-term boyfriend, not to mention YOU have a girlfriend and on top of that you lied and said you were single. I don't care if you volunteer at a center for disabled children seven days a week, hand knit clothing for homeless people in your spare time, and give every penny you make to various charities. I'd still like to kick you in the nuts. Anyone over the age of about 16 should realize that what you are doing is despicable. If you're looking for a new girl, be honest and tell the one you've got. On top of that, tell this new chick that she needs to leave her man if she's interested in you. What you're doing right now is shady as hell.
Well, if he's doing that to his girlfriend, he obviously doesn't care enough about her to be dating her. How's that risky?
First of all, my relationship is almost non-existent, we are not serious. I am allowed to date other girls because we both have an understanding that it is not a serious relationship. The dilemma is between her and her boyfriend, who have been dating for 5 1/2 years.
If you and your girl can date other people then that's not a problem obviously. But it's still crappy to go after a girl who is in a long-term relationship and to lie about having a girlfriend. Do you not see what I'm saying? The only respectable thing to do is say "I'm in a relationship but I'm allowed to date around. I like you and I'd like to see if this goes somewhere, but not until things are squared away with your relationship one way or the other."
If i were you, just go ahead. To me, if i really like the chick, i will not let the chance pass away, i will do whatever to persuit her. As long as she is not married, the chance is fair to everyone.
Obviously you felt compelled to lie about your current relationship status in order not to jeopardize your chances with this new hot chick. Your current girl probably wouldn't be too happy about this... and neither would the new one, if she found out. So what are you even doing hanging on to the remnants of this old relationship...? (well, I can guess what, but never mind. Looks like you can get that elsewhere anyway.) As for the new one - not until she gets things squared away as well. Make sure she's not just trying to have her cake and eat it too... have a boyfriend here and a boyfriend there. Of course, even if she is, then you and she have something in common...
Looks like we'll be eating cake, i just dont want any reprocussions from this, cause really if she's committed to her 5 1/2 year boyfriend, why is she persuing me. I'm getting mixed messages here. I dont know, maybe I should back off, let her control what happens here cause i dont want any drama. but she's cool, and i like her and i think we would get along pretty well.
Eddiewassnubbed had good advice. You should end your relationship with that girl, because obvious you are not to serious about it. A 5 and a half year relationship is very long, IMHO you should tell that girl that you like her, but that you do not want to come between her relationship. Just back off. And if that girls likes you enough she can always break up with her current boy friend. But that will only happen if she isn't happy with him. However, she might stay with that boy. But if she dumps him atleast it wasn't your fault. I do have to say that this thread does not make you look good. Lying to that girl cheating on you current girlfriend (even though you are allowed to date) with a girl who is in a serious relationship. Just be honest and do not fool around with girls in serious relationship.
WTF is that supposed to mean, why cause i dont want any drama along with this girl... pathetic, man, speak for yourself dude. I've got 2 girls, one i like and one i want to get rid of... Mr Mooch, I think you've been mooching maybe too much on too much crack or something.
Ok, thanx bud, maybe the best advice I've gotten out of this thread. and what, I'm the only one that lies about having a girlfriend, or being married... you gotta be kidding me.
You and this girl both sound like assholes. In a way, I guess you were made for each other. Good luck.
