I thought it would be funny to post some funny quotes poeple have said, dumb jokes, useless facts, and funny sigs. Here's my contribution: "If you make it idoit proof, they will make a better idiot" ~IDK "There are 3 kinds of lies, Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics." ~Mark Twain ------------------ ~John~ Help keep the obsessed thread alive post the reasons why you are an obsessed Rockets fan by clicking here
Who did put a hat on some <A HREF="http://www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com/">ham</a>??? ------------------ All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
Back in my accounting days, the following quote was always good for a laugh amongst the number crunchers: "There are three types of accountants in the world; those who can count, and those who can't." ------------------ Houston Sports Board Film Dallas.com AntiBud.com
Here's a poem I have posted at my work station: The Train It's not my job to run the train, the whistle I cannot blow. It's not my job to say how far the train's supposed to go. It's not my job to toot the horn or even ring the bell. But watch the damn thing jump the track and see who catches hell! (The above image was inspired by rockHEAD. I like the way you illustrate your posts!) ------------------ I always thought "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered". Now I think "With my talent, it's only a matter of time before I'm found out". [This message has been edited by Behad (edited May 23, 2001).]
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning how to put food on their family while being put to death." ------------------ The Protrolls.com message boards! Protrolls.com! Home of Turn, Tweak, and all your demented favorites!
Oh sure, everything seems bad if you remember it. ------------------ "I'm just a poster, and I want a piece of everyone's ass." HeyPartner And the truth shall set you free...
Clerks is awesome... ------------------ "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.
"I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule." ------------------ Ceo of the Walt Williams and Lisa Malosky fan club. atheistalliance.org
When some moron makes you mad, it takes 42 muscles to frown. However, it only takes 4 muscles to b****-slap the b*stard upside the head. CK ------------------ CC.Net Sim Homepage For stats, standings and team information.
"Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals." "Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong." "There is no sin but stupidity." "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it." "A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies." "It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating." "I am not young enough to know everything." "Marriage is a public confession of a private intention." "The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame." "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." - Oscar Wilde ------------------ All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - Jason Kidd, upon being drafted by the Dallas Mavericks. ------------------ All hail Fadeaway's Cyberfish -- your 2000-2001 BobFinn* Fantasy Basketball League Champions!
"You never know what might trigger someone to say jump off that bandwagon, which we like that they're on it." -Karl Malone being interviewed during the 1992 olympics, discussing fan reaction to Charles Barkley elbowing that poor Angolan fellow. ------------------ My doctor says I am bipolar. I am going to get a second opinion. I have never had intimate desires for polar bears.
Maybe not funny, but definitly worth reading: When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. -Heraclitus- Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -Ralph Waldo Emerson- When building a team, I first look for people who love to win, if I can't find any of those, then I look for people who hate to lose. -H. Ross Perot- The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems. -Mahatma Gandhi- Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. For the iso bashers: Do something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn't, do something else. -Franklin D. Roosevelt- To be successful one must make change an ongoing process. Quality is a race with no finish line. -David T. Kearns- The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it. Liberals favor using artificial means to alter the normal to a state which facilitates and justifies how irresponsible they want to be "If you will not fight for right when you can easily win without bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all odds against you and only a precious chance of survival. There may be even a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than live as slaves." -Winston Churchhill If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no brain. ------------------ You can't stick a porcupine in a barn, light it on fire, and expect to get licorice.
Look, I'm sorry, but everyone has to scroll back up and read Hoop-T's contribution. ------------------ Jazzkiller
As soon as I saw the first Churchill quote, I was reminded of this one. It's classic. ------------------
. ------------------ C-son -------------- "When life gives you lemons, Shut up and eat the lemons!" - Harry Solomon
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for?" ------------------ Ceo of the Walt Williams and Lisa Malosky fan club. atheistalliance.org
