I thought this was a funny analogy on Clemons possibly coming back to thr Red Sox on ESPN.com. Q: Did you see Clemens might come back to the Red Sox? Nooooooooooo! Noooooooooooooo! Noooooooooo!!!!!! -- Jake P, Arlington, Mass. Sports Guy: If this happens, I'm not even bothering with the lighter fluid and the matches ... I'm moving to the West Coast. That's it. You think I'm kidding. Here's the only way I could possibly describe my feelings about a Clemens return: Imagine you're a typical guy in your late-20s. You've been dating the same girl since college, but recently she gained an extra 20 pounds, refuses to exercise and spends her nights sitting on the sofa in jogging pants, eating Cheetos and forcing you to watch "Friends" re-runs. Also, she cheats on you every so often, because she "can't control herself when she's out with her friends." And she rarely shows you any affection. But you stick with her, because there's some history there, because you love her, because you keep hoping she'll turn things around to her old Cy Young form. Finally, you've had enough. You break up with her. She doesn't show an ounce of emotion, immediately moves on to someone else, then spends the next few months telling your friends how great the new guy is (never mentioning you at all). Now she's motivated. She hires a personal trainer, gets breast implants, bleaches her hair blonde and joins the cast of "Baywatch," looking absolutely fantastic, telling everyone who will listen, "This only happened because my boyfriend broke up with me, and I found true love." Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, she dumps that boyfriend and starts dating your absolute worst enemy, the guy you hated ever since high school who's now a multi-billionaire. To make matters worse, she starts calling your friends and urging them to hang out with her and the billionaire instead of you. Now you have to hear through the grapevine how happy she is, how her sex life has never been better, how she enjoys sticking it to you every chance she gets. You can't get away from her. She even gets her own talk show and conquers her fear of performing live, becoming a Kelly Ripa-like success, learning how to come through in the clutch. She is everything you ever wanted her to be. After a few years, she hits her late-30s ... and she starts letting herself go again. Her talk show gets cancelled. She starts to put the pounds back on. She makes some bad investments and sqaunders all her "Baywatch" earnings. The billionaire dumps her. And now she wants to get back together with you and pretend that all is forgiven. Would you take her back? I sure wouldn't. (Maybe I'm overreacting. I think the Red Sox are driving me insane. I'm not kidding. Let's just move on.)
wow, i've actually had a story with an old relationship that almost follows that analogy! just earse the "Toronto" part (the new guy) and go straight to the "Yankees" (the enemy), and you have my situation many years ago!
That isn't entirely accurate, especially the end. Few pitchers work out as hard as Clemens does. It's more like the chick hurt her knee on Baywatch and they don't want her back since they need her for the slow motion running scenes.
I wish Clemens would hurt his knee. Like maybe snapped it. And then he was forced to eat the marrow and snapped tendons hanging out... yes...
I'm right here although I didn't think that this thread had anything to do with Roger Clemens by looking at the title ("Clemons"). Would I want Roger Clemens back in a Red Sox uniform?? Hell, no, I wouldn't. He f*cking sold his soul to the devil, I mean Steinbrenner. He can rot in hell for all I care. I love the Sox, but if they got that assclown back, I would root only for the D-Backs.
Why all the hate on the Rocket. Dude has 6 Cy Youngs. He loves pitching so much all his kids names start with K. He won more than 2/3s of his decisions. He will very likely win 300 games in his career. I would hardly call him an assclown. I suspect he will just end up pitching for the Yankees again anyway. His start was their only win this year in the postseason.
There are just some things you don't do, Hydra. Having the majority of your career defined as a Red Sox and then joining your bitter archrival is one of them. However, being a Yankee fan, I doubt you could grasp that concept.
Hydra, I was in a hurry on that last post because I was fixing to leave the work. You might call it sour grapes, but let me elaborate... Us Red Sox fans are a long-suffering bunch like Cubs fans. We have grown accustomed to seeing our beloved Sox tear our hearts out year after year. A lot of people, at one time (and maybe some still now), look at Clemens as a Red Sox. Sure he played with the Blue Jays and Yankees, but he accomplished many things with Boston. Because of that, he should have suffered like Garciaparra, Ted Williams, Yaz, and other Red Sox greats in not getting a ring. However, he got on the Yankees and took the easy way out. Yes, Dan Duquette is an idiot, but Clemens didn't help his cause (to me) when he did that chickensh!tted stunt of hitting Piazza in the head and then throwing a bat at him. Unfortunately, thanks to the ineptness of Shawn Estes, it doesn't look like the Rocket will ever get his due retribution. I, begrudingly, accepted the fact that he was the best pitcher that I saw growing up, but after those 2 little stunts, I lost all respect for him. He is nothing but a coward. I liken what happened to him to John Elway. Elway WAS the Broncos for years. He led them to 3 Super Bowls only to see them get beat worse and worse every time. I'm sure it could have been really easy for him to give up on the Broncos and take the easy way out and join the 49ers or Cowboys so he could win a Super Bowl, but he toughed it out and got his deserved ring (2 of them) and retired as a Bronco. It is unfortunate that Duquette was such a moron that he and Clemens could not agree for him to stay with the Red Sox. But seeing him play for the Yankees showed to me that not only is he a coward (for the Piazza thing mostly) but also nothing more than a mercenary/hired gun.
Manny, I actually did understand where you were coming from. I was just razzing you for being a Red Sux fan. I just think that sometimes great players deserve a ring. I wasn't pissed at Barkley for changing teams to pursue that goal, or Drexler either for that matter. It didn't work out for them because sadly the Rockets are not the Yankees, but you can only be so satisfied with individual acheivement. When I was little, I was a Red Sox fan, but that was in the days of following players more than teams for me so when Wade Boggs left for greener pastures, so did I. He also went into the hands of the enemy, giving the Yankees one of the best pairs of corner infielders I have ever seen with Boggs and Mattingly. Nowadays I stick with one team, regardless of personnel, it just so happened that the last team I was following was the Yankees.
So... you would be cool if Steve Francis left the Rockets and signed with Jazz, winning 9 rings along the way of his illustrious career? Or if Hakeem had signed with the Jazz leading them to countless titles? Riiiiiight.
