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Funniest thing I have seen in a while .........

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by CrazyJoeDavola, May 22, 2003.

  1. CrazyJoeDavola

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    #1 CrazyJoeDavola, May 22, 2003
    Last edited: May 22, 2003
  2. Buck Turgidson

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    I think you left a pretty vital bit of information out of your post.
     
  3. Mulder

    Mulder Member

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    If I say that was stupid do you promise not to put the kibosh on me? :confused:
     
  4. Falcons Talon

    Falcons Talon Member

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    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

    Huh?:confused:
     
  5. Buck Turgidson

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    okay, here's the funniest thing I've seen in a while, admins please delete this post if it's too risque for the board:

    [actual chat transcripts, this guy is my new hero, sorry MacBeth]

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 **** of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty **** of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't **** with me b****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    -------------------

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They ****ing charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

    --------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie p*rn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something



    Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
    Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
    Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
    Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca: you like that?
    Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca: /ignore
    Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a b**** anyway.
    Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

    ---------------

    Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate:Who are you?
    Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
    Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
    Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
    Bloodninja:How did you know?
    Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate:What the ****?
    DirtyKate:You perverted piece of ****
    DirtyKate:****

    ------------------

    Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
    Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****?
    MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
    Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    MommyMelissa: is that it?
    Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this **** is HOT.
    MommyMelissa: ...
    Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    MommyMelissa: What the **** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. b****.
    MommyMelissa: whatever.
     
    Jontro likes this.
  6. CrazyJoeDavola

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    Bear with me folks ...file was too big for my server ..had to move it :(
     
  7. MoBalls

    MoBalls Member

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    JOEDAVOLA you so CRAZY...............................:confused:
     
  8. Falcons Talon

    Falcons Talon Member

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    Buck, it the admins do delete this, I can proudly say I had a chance to read that and laugh my friggin ass off!!!

    "I put on my robe and wizard hat."

    "Land' o Lakes butter all in your crack"


    LMAO!!!
     
  9. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS

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    Buck...that was hysterical!!!

    My fav...

    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the ****, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie p*rn you **** up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something


    Which cc.net poster is this guy? :D
     
  10. CrazyJoeDavola

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    #10 CrazyJoeDavola, May 22, 2003
    Last edited: May 22, 2003
  11. Mulder

    Mulder Member

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    That was some funny s***.
     
  12. MoBalls

    MoBalls Member

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    Bloodninja
    Sarah19fca ................... friggin hillarious:D
     
  13. Rockets2K

    Rockets2K Clutch Crew

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    Roger that!..I still have tears running down my face from laughing so hard... Gotta archive that one for posterity and for whenever I need a great laugh!..

    Buck, you rule!
    btw, is bloodninja you? ;)
     
  14. Castor27

    Castor27 Moderator
    Staff Member

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    Those are some of the funniest things I have ever read. I laughed so hard I was almost crying. :D:D
     
  15. boomboom

    boomboom I GOT '99 PROBLEMS

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  16. RunninRaven

    RunninRaven Member
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    Buck, that is one of the funniest things I have ever read.
     
  17. Sonny

    Sonny Member

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    Buck - that was awesome..... :D
     
  18. Pole

    Pole Houston Rockets--Tilman Fertitta's latest mess.

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    OMG!! I would be in so much trouble if someone came by my office right now. How in the hell would I explain the fact that I'm damn near peeing myself.
     
  19. HOOP-T

    HOOP-T Member

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    Let them read the chat transcript - DUH!?!?
     
  20. B

    B Member

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    Buck,

    Where did you find that? I'd love to see a website with a ton of transcripts like that one. That was a blast to read. :)

    B
     

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