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FOXSPORTS - houston preview.

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by brasss, Nov 2, 2004.

  1. brasss

    brasss Member

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    another analysis of rox by foxsports.

    http://msn.foxsports.com/story/3121396

    Houston Rockets

    According to Van Gundy the Younger, Stevie Francis and Yao Ming worked incredibly well together, and therefore Tracy McGrady will also be a copasetic fit with the Rockets super-sized pivot man. It's no surprise that Van Gundy espouses the company line (the only coach to publicly bash his player was Larry Brown in Athens). What really happened last season in Houston was that Francis repeatedly ignored Yao and went off on solo flights to highlight heaven.

    Van Gundy's wishful thinking to the contrary, it won't be easy to re-educate T-Mac to play hard, play defense, and cooperate with the best big man in the Near West. Van Gundy's success will be reflected in how far the Rockets will travel into the playoffs.

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    Yao Ming is a total player — his only limitations being the unavoidable size and relative immobility of his feet. He's also a thinking man's center, having adjusted his jumper (a higher, quicker release) to avoid the ministrations of the league's shot-blockers.

    Juwan Howard is a powerless power forward. Jim Jackson mans the 2 spot — an experienced scorer and adequate defender.

    Even if T-Mac learns his lessons well, the Rockets point guards may still be their downfall. Tyronn Lue has great straight-ahead speed and always looks to push the ball — but he's not a good finisher and is often out of control. Charlie Ward plays bump-and-jam defense and has lost the zip in his step. Even if he can still plug stand-still 3-pointers, he can no longer find his way to the hoop.

    Maurice Taylor is Houston's secret weapon. He thinks "score" on every touch and has the skills to succeed. He can post, face-up and shoot from anywhere short of the 3-point line. What can't he do? Run in transition and avoid foul trouble. With Yao and T-Mac both attracting double-teams, Taylor has the luxury of operating one-on-one.

    Van Gundy will have to coach his butt off in order for the Rockets to challenge for the championship, but his problems appear to be too formidable to be overcome in a single season.

    Young player to watch: Besides T-Mac, there's nobody who's going to get the opportunity to have even the slightest impact on the season.
     
  2. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Contributing Member

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    Yao Ming is a total player — his only limitations being the unavoidable size and relative immobility of his feet.

    Translation: He's too big and he can't move. Sorta like Jaba the Hut.


    to avoid the ministrations of the league's shot-blockers.

    Come on, is there no other word in the English language you could use except for "ministration"? Surely your head is not that far up your ass. I always think PMS when i see that word.

    Juwan Howard is a powerless power forward.

    And you are a dickless d******d.*wow that didn't get censored*

    Jim Jackson mans the 2 spot

    No he doesn't.


    Even if T-Mac learns his lessons well, the Rockets point guards may still be their downfall.

    No they won't.

    Tyronn Lue has great straight-ahead speed

    As oppose to just normal speed?

    but he's not a good finisher and is often out of control.

    Must be too much of that "straight-ahead" speed...

    Charlie Ward plays bump-and-jam defense

    You're dumber than a peanutbutter-and-jam sandwhich.

    Even if he can still plug stand-still 3-pointers, he can no longer find his way to the hoop.

    Good. We don't need him to.

    Maurice Taylor is Houston's secret weapon.

    No he isn't.

    He thinks "score" on every touch

    First smart thing you've said all day. Maybe you're brightening up.

    and has the skills to succeed.

    Ep, there goes that notion.

    What can't he do?

    Lots of things.

    Run in transition and avoid foul trouble.

    Except for those.

    With Yao and T-Mac both attracting double-teams, Taylor has the luxury of operating one-on-one.

    As opposed to looking for the 2 open guys whose defenders went to double Yao and Tmac?

    Van Gundy will have to coach his butt off in order for the Rockets to challenge for the championship, but his problems appear to be too formidable to be overcome in a single season.

    Your idiocy is too formidable for my brain to comprehend.

    Young player to watch: Besides T-Mac, there's nobody who's going to get the opportunity to have even the slightest impact on the season.

    Huh? Isn't Yao younger than Tmac?



    In conclusion: This article sucks.
     
  3. kaden

    kaden Member

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    HaHaHa!
     
  4. qrui

    qrui Member

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    yeah hahaha!
     
  5. dreday

    dreday Member

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    Even if T-Mac learns his lessons well
    what lesson is he having to learn?
     
  6. olliez

    olliez Member

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    I laugh with you

    :D
     
  7. couch_pot8o

    couch_pot8o Member

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    tyler, what you posted is by far the most hilarious thing i read! a classic! hats off to you.:D
     
  8. Sir Geving

    Sir Geving Member

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    haha

    Nice work Tyler Durden :D
     
  9. DnD

    DnD Member

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    :D lololol! I dont know why, but I found this really funny!
     
  10. Tigerknee

    Tigerknee Member

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    lol
     
  11. Stack24

    Stack24 Member

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    You have to love that part....rule out the whole bench on one swoop lol
     
  12. hotballa

    hotballa Contributing Member

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    lol good work Tyler
     

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