http://foxsports.lycos.com/content/view?contentId=721258 http://foxsports.lycos.com/content/view?contentId=721288 Mad About Yao: Rookie's first day BY DAYN PERRY Special to FOXSports.com Oct. 22, 2002 8:53 p.m. Fox Funhouse, crawling as usual with highly placed sources, went fly-on-the-wall for Yao Ming’s first post-practice locker room session with the Houston Rockets. Here’s how it went down … Collin Pine (Ming’s translator): Okay, Yao knows a bit of English, but most of the time I’ll be translating for him. Rudy Tomjanovich: Pine, I’ll want an exhaustive list of all English profane utterances that Yao has command of at this time. What about !@#$% ? CP: Yes. Yao Ming: Yes. RT: Okay, what about !@#$% ? CP: Yes. YM: Yes. RT: !@#$% ? CP: No. RT: Hmmm. What about !@#$% ? CP: No. YM: No. Cuttino Mobley: I don’t even know that one. RT: Silence, Mobley. Okay, does Ming have anything to say to the team? CP: (Something in Chinese) YM: (Something in Chinese) CP: Yao says he looks forward to being lucky-best emperor friends with Stevie Organization, and he looks very most forward to the frolicsome towel-snapping, soap jokes, furtive below-the-belt glances, repartee, banter, bon mots and kittenish esprit de corps that are the residue of the communal shower dynamic. Steve Francis: Franchise, man. It’s “Stevie Franchise.” YM: (Something in Chinese) CP: Yao says the Kung Pao chicken in Houston is like the country music in Beijing. RT: Tell your creepy guy there that I only need 40 wins this season for 500 in my career. I expect that to happen. CP: (Something in Chinese) YM: (Something in Chinese) CP: He says he’ll hop up and down like a barbecue and crack your revolting puss like Kermit Washington did unless you feed him the America rock with call-to-action regularity. RT: What? YM: (Something in Chinese) CP: Bostjan, he says if you challenge him as the import overlord on top of the team constituted of and by Rockets, he’ll make international urine on your happiness. Bostjan Nachbar: (Something in Slovenian) YM: (Something in Chinese) CP: Glen, he says he’ll eat you with sticks and sauce and power. Glen Rice: What? YM: (Laughing) Rice. I kill you. Rice. GR: What? YM: It’s a joke, dude. You know: “rice.” Chinese, rice … Forget it. All your base are belong to us. CP: (Laughing. Something in Chinese) YM: (Hysterically laughing. Something in Chinese) CP: He says he admires Stevie Company for his mad hops and handles and his Fraggle Rock spirit. He knows they will become warm bubbles and smiling buddy-pals. SF: What? RT: Who wants to run suicides? YM: I kill you, Rice. I kill you. Moochie Norris: Quit hatin’ on Glen, man. YM: (Something in Chinese) CP: Moochie, shut your teeth, he says. You will become duck slices crushed under his Julio-Claudian battle belt. YM: (Something in Chinese) CP: And a Maoist shout-out for the hesitating beauty, Stevie Service Entrance. RT: What about !@#$% ? YM: I’m acquainted with that one. (Something in Chinese) CP: He says Shaq is as noodle coward as a non-scholarship male cheerleader, and he will be overstronged by Yao, the President of Game. Kelvin Cato: Ask him if we’re done? CP: (Something in Chinese) YM: (Something in Sanskrit) CP: Yes, it is time for the empire to shower.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever read. I think I am dumber for just reading it. It pale's in comparison to the Achebe-lation provided in this link: http://bbs.clutchcity.net/php3/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43565 CK
That was pathetic. I can't believe that guy gets paid to write about sports and I don't. If he thinks that "The Punch" is something to joke about, he should read last week's article in SI where Rudy recalled the bitter taste of spinal fluid leaking into his mouth and the sleepless night that Rudy spent in ICU fighting for his life after Kermit hit him.
This gives TV funhouse a bad name. Stop it Dayn Perry. Maybe if we saw a conversation going on things would make more sense. The problem is, that this is not fun with real audio, it's fun with real video without the video.
Jokes about people getting their face crushed and making fun of a cultural langauge barrier are really funny. Har-de-har-har.
I got bored after the first few quotes, theres no way I couold read that whole thing. Sounds more like a 13 year old fantasizing about what players talk about.
We are all now dumber for having read your post. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I don't know about you, but that was funny!!! O.K., I can understand that you are angry couse it's about Rockets, but if it would be about another team (Kings, Dallas...) you would be laughing your asses off over here. So give them some credit.
This was at the end of that weak article. Please everyone feel free to email Mr. Perry and inform him of how much of a loser he is. Dayn Perry applied for the job of Rockets' translator, but was unfairly rejected on the sole basis of not speaking Chinese. Heck, he barely speaks English. He can be reached by e-mail at dperry@bootlegsports.com.
