I need to go to a counselor. Primarily due to difficulties with my marriage, but the ripple effect from those issues has created additional issues as well. I am an inner loop (not wealthy) professional married for over 15 years with two kids. Due to my kids, divorce is not really an option from my perspective. Any recommendations for counselors would be appreciated. If you can give me an idea of what the counselor is like in general terms, great. Finally, I would appreciate anyone who wishes to share the benefits of their experiences (good and bad) with marital counseling. I have all the recommendations for self-help books that I need.
hey, you're not the Governor of New Jersey are you? just kidding. hope you find what you're looking for. but i think kids are better off having divorced parents than parents who stay together in an unhappy miserable union
Good luck Pipe. I've no particular wisdom to add...and no counselors to recommend...but i'm wishing you the best. (no disprespect Pipe (i really shouldn't joke in such a personal thread)-- but it's like it's Oprah day on the bbs today )
I don't want to be divorced, but it's not my decision... I agree with outlaw, don't do it for the kids...it needs to be for you as an individual and her as an individual...You both have to want to fight for it and want it... Anyway, I'ved tried to get her to go to counseling, but to no avail...In the middle of one of our arguments one day last week, she did accept and she did agree to go, but nothing yet...Weird that it came out in the middle of argument, but oh well... Check your insurance as I have Blue Cross and individual counseling is covered, but not joint...It's about $150+ per session for marriage counseling...I just looked at my provider list...Good luck... BTW, it's not Oprah today on the BBS, Dr. Phil, maybe...
Use whatever you want as an excuse, just fix it. The right reasons will come around eventually. You have to make it work, it wont just start working on its own. If you wait for it to fix, it never will. My honest opinion, and I'm not trying to be an ass, I just know from experience, if your spouse doesnt want to work on it at all for any reason, then they are probably screwing around or have someone that they are "really close" with. The counselor that we went to explained this to us and was dead on. I think counseling is great. I highly suggest it.
When was the last time that you and your wife did something together like a night out, vaction, etc. without your kids? Maybe all you need is some time with each other to work things out. Then again, I'm not married, so I'm not sure how accurate my advice is.
I think Dr. Phil has the right advice on this. He says that you cannot just opt out of marriage, but that you have to earn your way out and that you have to try EVERYTHING, ABSOLUTELY everything and have it fail before you have the right to get divorced.
I had it typed out, then deleted it. I'm sure that pooper is the last thing you want to discuss with your spouse, when the marriage is on the rocks.
What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt. By Leon Phelps
Apparently we are not alone. It appears that many monogamous animals do divorce. And ironically, economic models are used to study their decision patterns. http://www.biology.eku.edu/RITCHISO/birddivorce.html http://www.bio.bris.ac.uk/research/behavior/kp_research.htm
Pipe, If you are still looking for a good counselor, send me or JV an email and I can get you in touch with one.
