Entire story here. Sorry, no cliff notes. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/flier-blames-tabasco-spill-lewd-act DECEMBER 30--Meet Rafael Escamilla. Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, the 50-year-old suspect told police that he was actually massaging and itching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.
shoulda went with the habanero sauce would explain the erratic and fast paced jerking. scoville units are much higher
Okay, this is a pet peeve of mine. Memo to the world: YOU DO NOT "ITCH" YOURSELF. YOU "SCRATCH" YOURSELF. The two ARE NOT interchangeable. I know it's a small thing (no pun intended), but it drives me CRAZY!
In summation. Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: look now into your heart of hearts, into all that is good and just in our nation. Is this the face of a chronic masturbator? I think not. Vote not guilty.
Should have exercised self control then. If he was that desperate, he should have gone into the restroom and rubbed one out. But to do that out in the open, dude deserves what he gets.