I dont really know what to say here, I never thought I would be making one of these threads someday. As some of you on here know I've been married for the last 5 years. I've found some things out in the last few days that have absolutely destroyed me, and we are getting a divorce. I dont want to get into the details, but its really bad. The sad thing is this isn't the first time something has happened, but last time I just tried to get over it and stay together. Now, she doesnt even want to try to make it work. The f'ed up thing is there is still a part of me that would want to try. I feel like I still love her deeply, but I know its pointless. I dont know what to do. I feel completely empty. We started dating when I was 17 years old (27 now). I have no idea how to live without her.
Hey bro I know exactly what it feels like. I also know that you probably dont want to give out the details like I did on here LOL............so if you want to talk, please email me. I can even give you my cell number. My AIM is clutchcity34 and my yahoo messenger is rocketsman34. I do know what you are feeling. I still feel that way sometimes when I think back to what happened in February. Hang in there bro........you will make it out of this just like I did. Time and prayer is the only thing that will heal and get you through it.
Sorry to hear that, man But the pain will pass.. you have to stay positive. Good luck and all the best.
time for me to put my mature cap on. Hang in there. You've been with her for ten years, which is a long time, at least to me it does. From what you said, it says that she is a repeat offender. At least you are trying to make it work, which is admirable. You're a swell guy, you'll bounce back. If you want, I can fight her. She works near where I live, right?
If I'm understanding correctly - i.e., she has done wrong by you, she doesn't want to try to make it work, she has done wrong before - then there are some important changes you must begin to make. 10 years is a long time. Not too mention that that is a good chunk of the years that most people experience a lot of things. There are things you will gradually have to realize; you are still young, there are relationships out there that will treat you better than this and you did all you could do. It is very calming to know that you did what you could, and in the end, it was taken out of your hands. There is a freedom in this. With that amount of time, centered around one person: there is something very important to recognize here. You have not really lived just for yourself in a long, long time.
Sorry for your troubles. Been there myself. You have no idea how great life will be once you get past the detachment phase of dissolution. Have faith and take care of yourself.
Hey Harrisment, I feel sorry for what you have to go through. Keep your head up and look up for guidance.
Harrisment...buddy...I am shocked. I am so sorry to hear this. If you ever need to talk or just hang out, you know how to reach me. **** man...you'll be in my thoughts.
I know a little bit of how you feel. I've been going out with this one girl for a few months. And recently I just found out that she's been sleeping with a friend of mine. Now, keep in mind that we didn't say anything about dating each other exclusively. But still, to know that she was screwing one of my friends (who I see everyday) was just too much to bear. So I've been pretty depressed lately. Last night, I saw the most gorgeous girl step out of my apartment's elevator. She looks like she just stepped out of a magazine shoot or something. I said hi, made some small talk, found out that she just moved in to the building, and we made plans to get some coffee later this week and for me to show her around town. You never know when your luck will turn. I know ten years is a heck of a long time, and it will take a long time for your wounds to heal. But it will get better, I promise.
recently, i've been on your wife's side of the story. what i mean is i am the one who has grown uninterested. now, i've never cheated (assuming that's what happened to you) on my g/f of many years but last couple of years have not been good. i haven't treated her well (as in emotionally) and we've grown apart. i just moved out and we've been separated the last month or so. all i can say is, the harder she tried to keep it together, the more i wanted to get away. the things is i know i'm letting a good woman go. but, you can't make someone love you. in my case, i didn't feel like she felt anymore and i didn't think it was fair that we stayed together. she finally realized that and told me straight up, that it was best i moved out. here's the kicker. i never really expected her to let me go and took it for granted. as soon as she did though, i felt empty. thoughts like "wtf? she really wants me to leave. who is she seeing? i can't freakin' believe this!" but it was all irrelevant b/c it was what i wanted in the first place, for us to break up. so what i'm trying to say is, you can't force her to change her mind about you. you can make her have doubts by making it clear that you're not gonna put up with it anymore. she'll start thinking why you don't want her anymore. it's starts going in another direction. she may come back if she realizes you can live without her. if she doesn't, then you just live without her. i think we all need to gather for a broken hearts club. a night of drinking and venting. of course, the Astros could be added to the mix of misery.
Harrisment, I'm real sorry to hear that. I've never been married, so I can't really offer any words of advice, but like some others have said, it just takes time. It gets better, not worse. Seems like a lot of good guys on this bbs are getting screwed over by their women. Makes me kind of nervous, since I consider myself a 'good guy' and I'm in a new relationship.
actually, it'll get alot worse before it gets better. just the truth and might as well not beat around the bush about it. but it does get better.
I am sorry you have to go through this Harrisment, you seem like one of the good ones. I think that people who are used to being at least semi-happily married tend to see being single as a fate worse than death. And single people tend to think of being married as being a fate worse than death (cept for some women who have had bridal magazines under their bed since age 11...and some men who can't do thier own cooking or laundry and need someone to replace mom) I have never been married, but I have been in two monogamous relationships lasting more than 3 years...one of which I lived with the girl, so it was a lot like a marrage. The deal is...there are good things about being part of a couple and good things about being single. Since you have spent all your adult life as part of a couple...after some of the pain dies down...maybe you will have a chance to learn about some of the good things about being single.
My guess is you two don't have kids yet. So, consider this is a blessing in disguse. Like others say, it (the feeling) will get worse before it gets better, perhaps a lot better. The high school sweetheart thing is overrated, if not a myth. Women come and go [hey, so do men]. Most importantly, don't do anything that will hurt yourself in the long run. Good luck.
