I saw the Jeopardy SNL skit reference on the "Pundits" thread and got a great laugh out of it. I used to watch SNL every weekend, but I've been missing some lately. Which skits stand out in your mind. Does anyone remember the assasination of Buckwheat?
There was a "Super Fire Hot Wings" skit with Christian Slater that had me busting up laughing. I never grew tired of the Ladies Man. Yea Thats Right.
I replied back in the pundits thread about Christopher Walken's "I need more cow bell!" skit. Probably my favorite of all time. Nerf Crotch Bats were pretty hilarious. Schwetty Weiners and Balls with Alec Baldwin are classics.
Damn that was the funniest skit ever. I also liked the Walken skit on the census. "Census-Taker: Yeah. Well, I just need to fill out this Census form with you. Uh.. how many people live in this residence? Mr. Leonard:Oh, boy.. good question. I'm bad with numbers.. Maybe 80. Census-Taker: 80 people live in this apartment? Mr. Leonard: Seems high, doesn't it? Not 80. How about 4? I don't know.. I'm so bad at guestimating.." I could literally go on forever with my favorite skits. Ya know, every year people say, "SNL is just not as funny as it used to be." Then you watch old episodes on Comedy Central or E! and you realize there are stinkers every season. You just have to sift through them to get to the gems. Hey! Hey, if I was a scientist, you know what I'd clone? Hot dogs!
I'm Gumby, DAMN IT! Norm McDonald on weekend update, after some strip club ruling passed down here: "... in Houston, Texas... or as I like to refer to it, Nazi Germany." The Martha Stewart ones are great, and anytime Dick Nixon is resurrected on X-Presidents.
My favorite skits would have to be the political ones. Dana Carvey's "McLaughlin Group" skits always left me on the floor rolling. Daryl Hammond's Chris Matthews skits are hysterical as well. Will Farrell as G.W. Bush was also great. McLaughlin: Issue #4: What is issue #5? PAT BUCHANAON! ... WRONG!!! My second favorite skits overall were the Jeopardy parodies. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard before. Sadly, Will Farrell is not around anymore, so I don't think we'll see another one. Sean Connery: "I'll take "the rapists" for $200, Alex. Trebek: That's "THERAPISTS," you moron.
I love the Jeopardy skits. I do remember several of the Buckwheat skits and they were good. Some of the old Gumby skits were good too. One of my favorites is a pretty obscure skit from the early-mid 80's. Joe Montana was the host and in one skit his roommate brought a date home for the first time. It was one of those where they think something (that was played out loud) and then say something else. Except that Joe's character thought something then said exactly what he was thinking. Not that that in itself was funny but in the end he was excusing himself to go upstairs and his character thought "I am going to go upstairs and Masterbate". Followed by him uttering those words. I cracked up and just had a hard time believing they talked Joe Montana into saying that out loud Edit- Thanks to that link up above her eis the script from that skit: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/86/86istu.phtml
"I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see, I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see. When I kill all the whities I see, then whitey he won't bother me, I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see. Then I'll get a white woman who's wearing a navy blue sweater.."
Anything from the early 90's Matt Foley - Motivational Speaker (Chris Farley) I live in a van down buy the river! Schmitt's Gay (Farley and Sandler) Chippendales (Farley and Patrick Swayze) - it was on last night! Bill Swerski's Superfans - The Bears! (Farley, Myers, others) The Church Lady (Dana Carvey) Phil Hartman as Clinton, Carvey as Bush/Perot (classic!) Simon in the bathtub (Myers) - are you looking at my bum? Do you like drarrrrrwings? Hans and Franz (Carvey and Nealon) We want to pump, You up! Wayne's World (Mike Myers/Dana Carvey) Phillip the Hyper-Hypo - Mike Myers was the hyperactive kid harnessed/chained to the monkey bars and he was given some chocolate and he ripped it from the ground and was pulling it down the street all pyscho. I really think this was the best era. There was so much talent. Mike Myers David Spade Dennis Miller Adam Sandler Rob Schneider Dana Carvey Chris Rock Chris Farley Phil Hartman Kevin Nealon Jan Hooks Tim Meadows Julia Sweeney Victoria Jackson Jon Lovitz (we have the same birthday!) Another favorite was Will Ferrell. He just stood out above all others he was working with, sad to see him go. SNL is probably my favorite show (tied with The Simpsons). I have been watching it since I was 3 or so.
Awesome link, Chance, thanks. Uncle Jemimah: Do you like drinkin'? Well, if you're like me - you like to get bit just as fast as possible. That's why I'm proud to introduce, to you, Uncle Jemimah's Pure Mash Liquor. I'm Uncle Jemimah. You probably know my wife, Aunt Jemimah, the Pancake Lady. Now, she says that sellin' booze is degradin' to our people. I always say that black folk ain't exactly swellin' up with pride on account of you flippin' flapjack! Then she say, "Why booze?" I says, "Sell what you know", and I know about booze. Uncle Jemimah's Pure Mash Liquor has a 95% alcohol content, and that's per volume. That means you get f**ked up for less money! Aunt Jemimah: [ exits house banging pot ] Pancakes is ready! Uncle Jemimah: Aw, you shut up, Woman! You not gonna ruin this for me! [ swats at cartoon birds flying around him ] Sammy: [ playing checkers ] Whatchoo swattin' at? Announcer: Uncle Jemimah's Down-Home Mash Liquor. More fun that pancakes. Uncle Jemimah: [ running through yard swatting cartoon birds and kicking cartoon pigs ] I just want to make liquor..!
OK no work will ever get done in my room again because I will be reading SNL scripts... Alex Trebek: Yeah, it was a trick question, Mr. Connery. Why don't you pick a category? Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier. Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier. Sean Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man? Alex Trebek: It's not a product, Mr. Connery. Sean Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen. Alex Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing! Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait.. are you selling Penis Mightiers? Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not. Sean Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!
Awesome link chance - this was one of my favorites. Alexander's Fur World (Alexander.....Jon Lovitz) Alexander: Hello! I'm Alexander Johnson, of Alexander's Fur World. And we're havin our year-end, better-off-dead sale. Furs, furs, furs! Choose from hundreds of full-length minks. Every one of these animals was raised in the lap of luxury, and, I'm sorry to say, committed suicide due to personal problems.. [SUPER: "Depressed Minks" ] And that's not all! We have a fabulous collection of evil, murdering, vicious coyotes - every one a confirmed sheep and bunny killer convicted by a jury of environmentalists, and executed under humane conditions. Believe me, they're better off dead. Also, review our selection of reatarded beavers.. [SUPER: "r****ded Beavers" ] These poor animals were unable to cope with the complex demands of beaver society, and had to be put out of their misery. We have road possums, rabid foxes, and a limited number of filthy, destructive raccoons we found dead by the side of the road.. [SUPER: "Flattened Raccoons" ] So come with a clear conscience, and remember: they're animals, for crying out loud! That's what they're there for!
Sully: Alright, hey, what's up! I'm Pat Sullivan, I'm here with my boy, Tommy, in front of Cumberland Farms. We're making a video for our Criminal Justice class, to show how frighteningly easy it is for minors to purchase alcohol in the greater Boston area. As I speak, my girl Denise is currently within, attempting to acquire a couple of tall boys. And if she succeeds, mark my words, I will be forced to confiscate the evidence and turn it in to the proper authorities - my mouth! [ Denise walks out of the store ] Hey, any luck? Denise: Shot down. Apparently, the clerk was able to discern that I am not one Evelyn Chang. [ shows fake ID ] Sully: Ah, you're Evelyn Chang to me. Denise: You are so queer! Sully: You are! [ they make out, until interrupted by Eric Pierson ] Eric Pierson: Alright, freeze! Freeze! You're under arrest for public display of a boner! Denise: Oh, my God! Sully: The answer to our prayers! Denise: Mr. Eric Pierson! Confirmed hottie, former right wing for the varsity hockey team, and, although he's 26, no stranger to our high school social circles. Eric Pierson: Yeah! Hey, Tommy, your fly's open! [ Tommy's camera moves down to look ] Ha ha! Sucker! Sully: Good one, bra! Eric is top-notch people. One time he stole a zamboni and drove it to the prom! Denise: There's always a pary at his house, 'cause his dad works nights and his mom's totally deaf! Eric Pierson: Yeah, yeah! And, not to brag, but I'm currently AWOL from the Coast Guard! Sully: He is my idol! Second only to.. [ turns around to show his jersey ] Nomar! Eric Pierson: Nomar! [ shows his t-shirt ] Nomar, we are praying for your wrist. Sully: Godspeed. [ they all sign the cross ] Denise: Yeah! Sully knows the heartbreak of a wrist injury, 'cause we broke up for a week, and he nearly gave himself carpal tunnel! Sully: Shut up! Denise: You shut up! [ they make out ] Eric Pierson: Yeah, yeah! Welcome to tonight's episode of "Temptation Parking Lot"! Denise: Oh, my God! Eric, are you going up to Ash's Hill? Eric Pierson: Ah.. yeah! Sully: I've got moves on McCubby's basement. Eric Pierson: Says who, Smitty? Denise: Says everybody! Scoop, Sage, Marty, Magoo.. Sully: ..Champy, Murph, Donny Bartalotti.. Eric Pierson: Yeah! Squeezebox said Hodey and Weezer were taking a keg out to Baker Hill! Sully: No, sir - cancelled to the Storm of the Century! Denise: Yeah! Hats off to meteorologist Bruce Schwaggler - you are as moron! Sully: You are! [ they make out ] Eric Pierson: Alright, kiddie p*rn! Take a breather! Sully: [ serious ] Eric.. will you buy us beer? Eric Pierson: Ah.. I would if I could, junior, but I had my license permanently revoked 'cause I flipped my 4x4 doing donuts in the police parking lot. Sully: Was it worth it? Eric Pierson: Ah, no regrets, bro! The coppers took my car and I fractured my shoulder, but it was wicked pisser! Denise: [ atop mechanical pony ride ] Alright, tick-tock, boys. Me and my pony here are still sober. Sully: Alright, Plan B. I'm going in. [ applies fake moustache ] Watch and learn. [ enters store ] Eric Pierson: [ approaches Denise ] So, uh.. how's it going, Denise? Denise: You can call me Zazoo, thank you very much. Zazoo! Eric Pierson: You, uh.. you lost weight, but not in your boobs. Denise: Oh, my God! Don't start with me, Pierson, alright? Last time you sweet-talked me, I ended up with a broken heart and a bag full of poison ivy! Eric Pierson: [ laughs ] You loved it! Denise: And don't ever tell Sully we did it, either. He thinks he's my third. Ah, that's totally off the record, Tommy. [ Tommy nods with camera ] Eric Pierson: Ah, it never would have worked out between you and me. You're just a kid, and I gotta focus on my landscaping career. Yeah, you're better off with Sully. Denise: Oh, I'm well aware. Believe me, alright? I mean, Sully may lack book smarts, street smarts, and basic emotional intelligence, but you know what? So don't I. Sully: [ exits store carrying a case of beer ] Jackpot! A moustache and a British accent works every time! Eric Pierson: Hey, uh, can you guys give me a ride up to Ash's Hill? Sully: Yeah, no problem. Donny and Frank are gonna pick us up any minute.. [ Frank wheels up with Donny on the handlebars ] Donny Bartalotti: What's up, suckers! Who wants to party with big, bad Donny Bartalotti?!! Sully: Hey, Frank! Frank, where's your car? Frank: It's at the bottom of the reservoir. Sully: Still? Donny Bartalotti: No! Again! Frank: Ah, come on, Frank! Donny Bartalotti: Come on! Get on! Denise: Seriously? Alright.. [ sits on Frank's handlebars ] Frank: Yeah, I'll take you all! I'm strong like a animal! Donny Bartalotti: Yo, guys! I got a ball of Pink Schnapps.. I got some rubber cement in here.. and a whole gallon of paint thinner! We partyin' tonight! [ everyone cheers and screams, as Frank wheels them all away on his bicycle ]
oh my gosh!! i forgot one...the Herlihey Boy Dog Sitting Service with Adam Sandler and Chris Farley...unreal funny!!! i was literally crying i was laughing so hard the first time i saw it.
